Guilt - A Barrier to Dreams

Posted on December 12, 2007 in Inspiration, Self-Help by Rebekita.

I have just had a very powerful realisation I would like to share.  Just as a plant needs to be repotted once it has outgrown  its smaller pot I am needing to re-pot to bigger dwellings.  The challenge is that at this present time I don’t have the finances to make such a leap.  Having done all the affirmations, rituals and the like for abundance I am still plagued by ‘lack.’  I always have only Just Enough and so, despite never actually being in debt, I don’t have enough to move beyond.

Tonight I got to the bottom of why lack blocks my dreams coming true.  Earlier in the evening Carlo and I decided to pull some tarot to help us to understand our feelings better about moving.  My first card was Guilt.  It took a while to understand it but finally after some prompting from Carlo I understood why I manifest lack rather than abundance.

Because I have always felt guilty about the huge divisions of wealth between people.  In short I feel guilty to live in opulence when there are people all over the world living in extreme poverty.  I have always had a deep connection with the planet and others.  By the time I was nine I was raising money to help the feminine in Africa. I was born with it and hate to see the abuse and power we with money wield  over others who do not have it. However, by the time I was fourteen I had lost hope that this world was going to change and that is one of the reasons why I tried to commit suicide when I was fourteen (for more information about this experience go to www.rebekahshaman.com/my book.

But now this guilt is no longer serving me because I can’t help without money so I have reached a divine paradox.  I need the very thing that I detest so that I can help the people who don’t have it to get it.

So in order to fulfil my intentions and dreams I have to let go of one of my deepest core beliefs that money is the root of all evil.  It is time to allow the abundance to flow in my life first to enable it to flow to others.

Oh wow!! It’s time to have some fun…..

Love and Blessings

Rebekah Shaman xxx


Synchronistic Chaos Part 5 - Surfing the Wave

Posted on November 19, 2007 in Happiness/Joy, Inspiration, Self-Help, Shamanism, Spirituality by Rebekita.

What an intense week it has been.  It seems that this new moon in Scorpio is providing us with the opportunity to really learn how to surf the wave of Synchronistic Chaos.  All around me and in my life too, friends and family are facing their darkest fears and greatest hopes at the same time.  I am finding that by not being attached to what is happening, I am able to see the magic moment to moment.

Everything is speeding up, including our awakening.  We can no longer pretend that the challenges we are facing in our lives are just going to go away.  This new moon in Scorpio puts us in a position where we have to face our fear – whether it’s manifested by other people who are causing chaos in our lives, or situations beyond our control.  It is showing us that we must take personal responsibility for everything that is happening in our lives because we are creating it.

Albert Einstein said you cannot change a situation at the same level it’s been created. It is the time to start seeing our lives from a different perspective.  I call it the fourth dimension or the quantum dimension. We have to accept that darkness and light co-exist simultaneously in our lives.  The sun is always shining when you see beyond the clouds

At the beginning of my spiritual search I believed that the state of enlightenment was all about reaching a place where there were no more challenges and problems and I could live a life of bliss.  Now I know that the state of ‘enlightenment’ is the pure acceptance of both the dark and light that is manifesting all the time, just like the waves crashing onto the shore.  As one wave disappears, another takes its place in a constant flow.  Life is like this.  As one dream dies another is realised.  The challenge comes when we try to hold on to the dream that is dying and do not focus on the new one that is being created.

 

Nowadays t is easier to see the flow, instant karma, as things are changing at every moment in rapid succession.  So during this period don’t get too attached to the dramas that are going on around you and live life from the eagle’s perspective.  That way it is easier to see all the possibilities that are available to you.

The more we accept we are creating our own realities the easier it becomes to make choices that honour our true nature and bring empowerment.  The more we listen too and act on our inner voices, our inner guru that is guiding us on our paths through life, the more we can fulfil our dreams and goals.  Life becomes much more fluid and more in tune with the natural flow of life.  We can start seeing the magic and the wonder in every experience, whether we judge it as good or bad, and let go of our need to control the outcome.  Then, instead of being battered, thrown around and smashed by it, we are really surfing the Synchronistic Wave and trusting that everything is happening perfectly.

Love and Blessings

Rebekah Shaman xxxxxx


It’s been stated that I never do anything “small”…..

Hi y’all. Well, I have been gone for a little bit. After the last couple of blogs that I wrote on that “feeling of nothing” and time to make a change, well…. yeah, we did.

The day I wrote my last blog, my fiance’ (oh yeah, he asked!!! I said yes!!!) and I had a very emotional discussion on what was going on with our finances. Though we both took FULL responsibility for all the “potential problems” we came up with some great solutions. (Writing this now, it is nice to see that we are looking forward at potential problems and not at them as they blowup around us). So we opted to move out of his house, back to mine and make some other financial decisions (oh… and get engaged). :)
So we moved, repaired and got the house on the market in under two weeks, had it in contract in two days of being listed, participated in 2 Halloween parties, did trick-or-treating, took family pictures and started the process of unpacking a house that was now filled with 3 adults, a teen, three pre-schoolers, a new baby, two dogs and a puppy. Hee Hee…. at least life is all around, all the time.

So, I am now back at the home that I (looking back again) really took a break from while I figured out some other aspects about my life. I had “changed the sheets”, and it is now time to come back and repair, change and take back the aspects of my life that were good and needed attention.

Small…. Though I do value down time, time to watch a movie with the family and to watch a sunset, life around me, as stated by my fiance’, is never boring. And as one of my best friends mentioned, “You never do anything small.”

A special thank you to Michael for all the times you have been there to bounce my thoughts and “create”. Thank you to Rob for seeing the beauty of a life through all the chaos. And to Rebekah for the advice on “changing my sheets” and great advice that I couldn’t hear internally at the time!

Have a blessed day all!

Kim


Sitting Shiva

Posted on November 8, 2007 in Family, Inspiration, Struggle by Rebekita.

For the last five days I have been ‘sitting Shiva’ – a traditional Jewish mourning ritual that honours the dead and helps the mourners through the first difficult days of death. Despite rejecting the religious, dogmatic aspects of the religion, I love the traditions, customs and rituals, and despite the Shiva being the most solemn of all traditions I find it the most powerful.

The Shiva is held in the house of the principle mourner, (in this case my mother). It is considered a great ‘mitzvah’ for family and friends to visit and give blessings of ‘a long life’ or to say ‘may we meet only at simcha’s.’ The mourner has a part of their clothes ripped to represent the ‘tearing away’ of the loved one and they must wear this throughout the seven day mourning period. They are also not allowed to wear leather, jewellery, shower or bathe or shave. They must also sit on low chairs to represent their discomfort and pain while all mirrors are covered. The mourner is not obliged to do anything. People are there to cook, prepare meals and provide company.

In this case I and our friend Babi from Spain stayed with my mum from Sunday to Tuesday and my younger sister took over on Wednesday and Thursday. It was a powerful experience for me to really bond with my mum when she really needed me. I also realised how many times I had not been there for her. In fact when she most needed me in the early nineties during my parents divorce I deserted her and went to live in Sri Lanka and India where I stayed for a year and a half with minimal contact. I could finally see how the cycles of time and life were coming to completion, when I could bury the past and I was able to be with her when she needed me most.

We did everything by the book because my grandpa was a real traditionalist and perfectionist. He loved things done properly and I know he was with us when my uncle, who married a catholic and has not been involved in the religion for years, said the ‘kaddish’ (memorial prayer) in Hebrew. We were honouring him in death as we honoured him in life and it made us all feel empowered and at peace.

Every night was different, with many friends visiting us each night. There was also an atmosphere that no words can describe. There was sadness but at the same time there was a feeling of great celebration. We were celebrating as well as mourning his life and this is quite unusual as some Shiva’s can be very solemn and distressing occasions.

This mourning period is over and yet I know my grandpa is still with me helping me from another dimension. I also know that he is finally seeing me, without all the blinkers from his Jewish upbringing and dogmatic conditioning. He is seeing me as the free spirit that I am and understands me fully for the first time. I know our relationship has not ended it has only changed into something different and he will be with me in spirit until my own life ends.

How blessed am I!

Love and blessings

Rebekah Shaman xxx

As a side note: It is interesting that the Hindu god of death and destruction, also known as the destroyer, is also called Shiva.


Eulogy to my Grandpa who died Yesterday

Posted on November 3, 2007 in Family, Inspiration, Struggle by Rebekita.

 

 

Yesterday morning at about 9.00am my grandpa died. It was a shock as I was sure I was going to see him on Friday and get the opportunity to say goodbye while he was still breathing. I met my brother and we went to the nursing home where he had been admitted on Monday. There he laid his body cold but his soul still hovering around.

I gave his body some healing as I could sense that my grandpa had died in a lot of pain (his body was riddled with cancer) and he needed some assistance to move into the light. It was a powerful ritual and as I was healing him and helping him on his way I could feel his love shine down and my heart expanded. My grandpa was a traditional Jew and he often found my way of life and beliefs difficult to accept but when he became ill and nearly died about four years ago I began to do energy healing on him.

His cancer went into remission and he soon accepted energy healing was a powerful tool for recovery. Every Friday night I would travel for an hour to my mum’s house to be with him and give him some healing. It was a powerful experience and we became very close on a much more subtle level. He was a friend, a teacher and a great man.

Around his neck he always wore a חי – CHAI, which means life and I am now wearing it around my neck. I feel this is his gift to me – the gift of חי of life.

He died at the grand old age of 93 and he lived his life to the full. Here is my Eulogy to my granddad that I will read tomorrow at the funeral. It describes his love of life and the very special man that he was.

Grandpa Alf

Grandpa Alf has died at the age of ninety-three
A special and dear man, I know you would agree
He lived his life too the very end with gusto and panache
His hair was always groomed and so was his ‘tache
A brother of five sisters he was older than his years
And at fourteen with his father he began his carpenting career
When his father died at sixteen he continued the family trade
And not long after, a successful manufacturing business he had made
He was such a good salesman no one could resist his charm
Always so polite and gracious, courteous and calm
Despite eventually retiring my grandpa soon got bored
And very soon you could find him on the Courts shop floor
He loved all the good things in life and lived it to the full
He was always laughing and joking and knew how to enjoy it all
He loved his yearly holidays to countries by the sea
Surrounded by a wide circle of friends and his close family
He loved playing cards, especially solo, with family and friends
His sense of humour and love of life was with him till the end
Loyal and devoted he always helped others less fortunate than himself
He knew the importance of the mitzvah of supporting someone else
He had a knack of helping others to achieve their full potential
He was great at giving advice and knew how to keep things confidential
He was always able to get out of paying parking tickets and fines
An avid spurs supporter and he’d always be on time
He loved salt beef and chips and chips with everything
Walking in the park or whatever life would bring
His beautiful face was always wrinkle free, smiling and aglow
He was so young and sprightly his age you’d never know
Recently, when he returned to the East End, after thirty years away
He thought he may find his old customers, who would have been 120 years old today!
A loving husband, father and granddad extraordinaire
Blessed are we for all the experiences together we have shared
So today we say goodbye to a very special man
He lightened up the world I was his number one fan
And even though you have passed on into the sacred light
I know deep inside that you’re doing alright
And despite the fact that we are now so very far apart
There will always be a part of you in each one of our hearts.

Rest in Peace my sweet Grandpa

You will always be with me

Love and blessings

Rebekah Shaman xxx


Effortless Living

On my last blog (ABC’s Zeroing in on what you want) I wrote that I felt in a state of “nothing” and that I wanted to learn how to create for me. Though proud of the balance and happiness around me. Well, then through “Women at Heart” I read a blurb by Ingrid Bacci on “Effortlest Living”.

I read through her blurb and website and found this: http://www.ingridbacci.com/self-empowerment.htm

Self-Empowerment

Are you seeking self-empowerment? Did you know that being self-empowered is identical with feeling more effortless, more in a state of ‘flow?’ Are you aware that being in ‘flow’ or in ‘the zone’ can be taught? Would you like to learn this art and become truly self-empowered? Ingrid Bacci’s goal is to show you how to release physical, emotional, mental and spiritual stress from your life, so as to live more effortlessly, productively and with a deeper sense of fulfillment and self-empowerment.

After reading a little further, I found I was exactly where I wanted to be and just needed a little time to get comfortable with this new “feeling or sense”. That the feeling of “nothing” was actually the most powerful place of creation I could be in. I was in the “zone”.

With that, I am really looking forward to what I can do now with this knowledge. Still need to get the feet moving again. :)
Have a blessed day.

Kim


ABC’s - Zero in on your target and go for it

ABC’s - Zero in on your target and go for it.

I have to say this is one of my toughest ones. I have found that I had gotten really good on doing this for others (family, friends, work). And though I had received a lot of “riches” in my life, the “reason” I had for them was so others were taken care of and better off. When the majority of my stress was managed, I had switched my life around and what now “centered”, there was an odd sense of “nothing”.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy. I have a loving partner, great business partners, kids are striving, getting along well with the ex, family relationships going well, dog is doing great…. yet, there is still the odd sense of “nothing”. I manage my health daily, my energy and stress levels, the balances of everything…. yet, hmmmm.

I can visualize and imagine what I want. Have all the tingles and excitement about it, then poof…. not there yet. What was contributing to this? What was I doing that would get me so close, yet so far from what I wanted? And now, I had people attached and a part of my dreams. My lack of being able to maintain (or lack of knowledge about doing for me) my wants was affecting others. This was very new to me. And though this was there in the past, what moved me before was anger about something or someone. I definitely did not want anger to be my motivator anymore.

So, no that I am “calm” and happy…. I am proceeding into the next stage of this years journey to with deliberate intent, dare to dream and follow through on the part of me. That I am worth it, deserve to be successful and am allowed to be prosperous.

Dare to dream. You will know you are close to zeroing in on your target when there are chills down your spine and through your body. An uncontrollable smile across your face and sparkles in your eyes. My next stage and what I am working on now is the going for it for the reason of I just want to. :)
Have a blessed day.


Ratatouille - A Movie with a Message

Posted on October 15, 2007 in Happiness/Joy, Inspiration, Nature, Positive Psychology, Shamanism by Rebekita.

I love cinema, it’s a real opportunity to switch off, fall into a fantasy world and forget the craziness of ‘real’ life. This weekend I took my stepkids to see Ratatouille – a magical animation from the Pixar people.

Ratatouille is about a rat called Remy who dreams of becoming a great chef despite his family’s wishes and the obvious problem of being a rat in a decidedly rodent phobic profession.  When fate places Remy in the city of Paris, he finds himself ideally situated beneath a restaurant made famous by his culinary hero, Auguste Gusteau.  Despite the apparent dangers of being an unwanted visitor in the kitchen at one of Paris’ most exclusive restaurant, Remy forms an unlikely partnership with Linguini, the garbage boy, who inadvertently discovers Remy’s amazing talents.

Soon Remy finds himself torn between following his dreams of becoming a chef or returning forever to his previous existence as a rat.  He learns the truth about friendship, family and having no choice but to be who he really is, a rat who wants to be a chef www.ratatouillemovie.net.

I resonated with Remy, not only because I am a Water Rat in the Chinese Horoscope but because I also had to face the same challenges as the rat.

A few years ago I had to make the decision to keep following the ingrained Jewish beliefs, laws, culture and customs of my community or follow my own way and be who I am, despite the alienation and isolation.  I have chosen to live shamanically, in tune with nature and in harmony with my inner voice and my destiny in order to find real happiness.

The film highlights that to really LIVE life we have to become who we truly are, regardless of what others around us think.  There is a wonderful scene where Remy’s father takes Remy to see all the dead rats killed by poison laid down by humans.  Remy’s father warns him that, as a rat he will always be the enemy.  Remy looks at his father and the dead rats and then says he’d rather keep following his dream and accept who he is then go back to the rat colony and live in fear.  He was willing to change the ‘paradigm’ to something new.

The message of the film is to follow your passion, your dreams, your inner truth and to be proud of who are you are.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and don’t give up on your dreams and goals, regardless of the tests life throws at you.  When we follow our dreams, and challenge old paradigms and limiting belief systems, we change the world and make it a better place - we become the change we want to see in the world and then we will find real happiness.

Go see the film – it’s wonderfully uplifting if you are feeling that following your dream is an uphill struggle!!!

Love and blessings

Rebekah Shaman.
xxxx


ABC’s - You are unique of all God’s creations. Nothing can replace you

ABC’s - You are unique of all God’s creations. Nothing can replace you.

I am sure that we all bounce around this one in many ways. And the reason… yeah, we are all unique. ha ha ha.

The way to true freedom is to allow others to be themselves and to allow yourself to be you. All the parts of you that are unique. I had always believed that I was unique and that there was no one like me. I can’t say that I always believed that was a good thing at the time or that my uniqueness was of any value. So for a long time I strived for “normal”. But then, what is normal when everyone is unique? hhhmmm… And, how then could you reach perfection?

Since going through this past year and recognizing what is important to me, and allowing myself to be me, I really have found a new level of happiness and can say for the first time in my adult life, I am truly happy. I enjoy my kids more. I love my relationships with friends and family. I enjoy spending time by myself. And you know what….? A slew of songs on the radio now make more sense. I smile more and I “bounce back” from disappointments faster.

I am not “just” a mom, a daughter, a sister, an ex-wife, a partner….. I am all those roles and have those relationships, but I am bar none…. KIM. I am unique in my own right and deserve to as happy as anyone else. Oh, and, it is not my responsibility to ensure that the rest of the world is happy before I am allowed to be. (gotta tell you, that lifted a lot off my stress load)

You all have a blessed day!

Kim


Libra New Moon - Facing my Fears

Posted on October 13, 2007 in Happiness/Joy, Inspiration, Positive Psychology, Relationships, Shamanism, Spirituality by Rebekita.

On Wednesday I had a Vortex healing from a lovely friend.  VortexHealing® is a Divine healing art from the Merlin lineage, designed to transform the roots of emotional consciousness, heal the physical body, and awaken the spirit within the human heart. Its purpose is to release the deep conditioning that keeps us locked in our emotional pain.  It works on all levels, including the karmic and genetic traits that cannot be touched by the mind.

It was perfect timing, as the New Moon was on Thursday and a time to find balance in our relationships with ourselves and others.  Since then it is almost as though a light has switched on within me and I am becoming more aware of my own limitations and negative thought patterns that are holding me back.  I am facing the ‘dark’side of my self that always feels fearful about the future and something ‘bad’ is going to happen to destroy what I am building up.

I thought this was because of my Jewish roots. The holocaust has cast a shadow over the Jewish people and psychologically we are still coming to terms with the experience.  I am not sure we have even started healing the wounds that have been left.  Millions suddenly lost their homes, their livelihoods and their families, and there was no-one to save them.  This trauma is being played out in Israel.  The oppressed have become the oppressor, as we remain locked in our pain and hurt, behind the mask of our own fear.

Only when we change what is happening on the inside can our external world change.  I am removing my mask that I have been hiding behind and really beginning to ‘see’ myself.  This is a challenging process as I begin to accept who I am, warts and all.  I have put myself on a pedestal and believed my own hype.  My book ‘The Shaman’s Last Apprentice’ has been the catalyst to bring me down from my perch and make me face myself.

A while ago we met a fascinating French man called Alain who told us that when we finally face ourselves, we will be ashamed of what we see.  I have to admit that when he said this I smirked.  At the time I thought I knew who I was and where I was going.  Very soon after the meeting my life changed course and for the last three years I have been in a spiritual wilderness, not knowing who I was, where I was going and why my dreams had not materialised.

Only now, in hindsight, can I see the path I have taken and the reasons for why my life has turned out like it has.  I now know the only thing blocking me was ME!!  And finally I am getting in touch with the fear that was so subtle and hidden so deep it was controlling me from a subconscious place.

This new moon of Libra will bring up our subtle fears and negative conditionings that are holding us back from realising our intentions.  Instead of blaming the external world, our partners, lovers, children, parents, bosses and colleagues, take the time to look inside and see that they are all reflecting what is going inside yourself. This is the opportunity to take off the mask and really accept all you are…

Love and Blessings

Rebekah Shaman xxxxxxx

 


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