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Last week, I found myself sitting on the floor in front of the television until 1:00 in the morning eating ice cream out of the carton for several nights in a row. When I was at the office, I wanted to be at home, and when I was at home, I wanted to be in bed. I get this way sometimes when I’m wrestling with decisions about life priorities. Should I learn an instrument? Should I try to write a book? Should I train for a triathlon. The more options I consider, the more I fret about how little time I have, and then I spend what free time I do have wondering how I can get more.
This mood and behavior have now hit me often enough that I can observe and recognize the pattern, but I can’t always snap out of it. Fortunately, my wife–an immensely patient and highly persuasive woman–has mastered the art of helping me break the pattern. She doesn’t make light of my confusion, but she isn’t impressed by it either. What she did was to sit me down and ask what I really wanted to achieve and to help me make a plan to achieve it. She then pointed out, methodically and plainly, that I could easily fit those projects into my schedule if I chose to. She suggested I try it for a month and see how it went.
Thank heaven for her. There are many great benefits to being married to my wife. This is just one of them, but it makes me immensely grateful that she married me.
I was looking for an entry that you wrote that will allow me to rumiate about something I just read about wisdom and this seems the closest. What is wisdom?
Not an easy answer, but according to a great article I just read in the NY Times, it seems to involve humbleness, being other-centered, understanding human nature, emotional resiliency (often by not dwelling on negatives), an openness to possibilities, forgiveness, a knack of learning from lifetime experiences, and balance–between knowing when to act and not to act, and when to be emotional or detached.
From reading the article, I thought it seemed to have a lot in common with Buddhist principles.
It doesn’t have a lot to do with age, according to this article.
Often it seems to arise out of adversity at a young age.
Here’s the link for the article, it even has a wisdom test at the end! ( I think all the presidential candidates should have to take it!)
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/06/magazine/06Wisdom-t.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin
Turns out we even have a wisdom expert at UM who was cited in the article–Jacqui Smith.
Hope you’re well.
How was New Mexico?
Leaving for Spain tomorrow with my daughter for a fun trip.
Comment by Deb — May 13, 2007 @ 7:26 am
It also occured to me that what your wife said to you in this situation is the same kind of thing that the organized women would say who I helped with their big writing project…they never said it, but they seem like believers in that adage–fail to plan and plan to fail. I have a hard time myself sticking to routine plans. I persoally think that is due to the seductiveness of the creativiy of the immediate ADD thought.
Comment by Deb — May 13, 2007 @ 7:40 am