Nat

I have started a new journal exercise: each evening I write about the worst moment of my day, and then I write about the best moment of the day. The idea, when I started this three days ago, was to observe the challenge and start to identify a pattern or think about ways to avoid that kind of moment the next time I confront something like it. The idea for “best moment” was to appreciate the good that comes my way and to recollect how good things are in my life.

An interesting thing happened on yesterday. I couldn’t think of a “worst moment” to record. Of course, if you had forced me to, I could have picked a moment that was worse than all the others, but the point was that a bad moment didn’t easily occur to me.

I’ve tried to draw conclusions, but the obvious one is that, when I knew that I would be reviewing the day later for worst moments, something in my knew to avoid them during the day. What a great lesson that will turn out to be. If merely recalling consciously throughout the day that I am going to have to scrutinize what didn’t go well and try to find some way to avoid or improve upon this experience in the future keeps me from stumbling toward bad experiences, this exercise will prove almost magical.

Either way, I like the discipline. It’s especially wonderful to recall the best thing that happened (last night the Red Sox won a game to take them to their second World Series in four years!). I will keep doing this for awhile.

Yesterday I took my second tennis lesson in two days with Dale Light, Director of Tennis at The Boulders Resort in Carefree, Arizona. If you’re ever in the area and like to play tennis, I strongly suggest you take a lesson with him. Dale worked with me on my balance on Monday, correcting a problem with my backhand that I didn’t know I had.

Yesterday, he spoke more philosophically, asking me what my purpose was in playing tennis. He said that development in tennis is just like any other area of your life: having a purpose makes it much easier to progress. I told him that after decades of being an erratic player who made no improvement, I finally wanted to be a player who is comfortable playing with strangers and not feel as if I’m embarrassing myself.

He said he thought those were reasonable goals, and he urged me to address issues of trust and commitment. Trust, he said, that you can figure out how to be ready and how to execute. Then, make a commitment to take the shot, ignoring what the outcome may be. Unless you are a professional, whether you win is not a matter of grave importance. What matters is that you not let your emotions govern your behavior.

What a revelation that tennis is like everything else. We’ll see today how it works.

Esther Hicks in one of the latest “Abraham” CDs talks about the importance of turning your thought toward what you want to experience in your life. In other words, however far away your desires may seem, filling your thought with what you want rather than with what you don’t draws you closer to what you want.

It’s easy to think this is nonsense, that your thought has little to do with circumstance. On the other hand, if you accept that there is some force influencing events, then it is possible and even likely that some idea governs what happens in the world. We talk about a law of gravity. What created the circumstances in which the force of gravity acted as it does?

Fill your thoughts with the condition you want to experience. Our thought has more to do with how we experience the world than anything else. Give it a try.

I’ve just started reading a book by the psychologist David G. Myers called The Pursuit of Happiness: Who Is Happy–and Why?. In a chapter called “The Traits of Happy People,” Myers quotes George Bernard Shaw: “Hell is to drift, heaven is to steer.” The point of the quote and the chapter is that happy people believe they have control over their own destinies.

I’ll write more about it when I read whether this refers not just to controlling one’s thoughts and reactions but also to controlling what happens in one’s external life.

I’ve been thinking about this question quite a lot. Is it as easy for us to change our circumstances as to change the way we think about our circumstances? Instinctively I believe we can absolutely change how we think about things, but I’m less sure we can change the world around us.

The people like Esther and Gerry Hicks and also Rhonda Byrne of The Secret, who believe in the Law of Attraction, show how to change one’s circumstances.

Either way, we’re in heaven when we perceive control over our lives and destinies. I’ll keep reading.

Well my friend Judy had a Washington airport story that made my 38 hour trip home seem like a luxury trip. She and her husband and small child were trapped in an airport two weeks ago for 3 entire days!

Despite its being a horrible story–12 cancelled flights; 4 times in a plane on the tarmac that never took off!–she reported the same experience that I did. She barely saw anyone get angry that entire time. I had the same experience this weekend in Dulles.

More amazingly, she’s just as impatient as I, and suffered a much worse ordeal, but she surprised herself by staying very calm throughout, just as I did.

I have a deep sense these days that we in our society are on the verge of a significant cultural transformation in how well we tolerate challenges and hardship. We are growing more emotionally stable and mature as a society. I believe this deeply.

We live in interesting times. Stay tuned.

Matthieu Ricard, a cellular biologist turned Buddhist monk, has written a magnificent book called Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill. In addition to his work writing, translating, and teaching, Ricard has participated with several Western biologists in experiments to determine whether meditation changes the structure of the brain.

This book aims to define happiness as an internal quality and to teach the skill of acquiring it more reliably. At the end of the first chapter, he says that happiness is all about a love of life. Then he continues:

The search for happiness is not about looking at life through rose-colored glasses or blinding onewself to the pain and imperfectiosn of the world. Nor is happiness a state of exaltation to be perpetuated at all costs; it is the purging of mental toxins, such as hatred and obsession, that literally poison the mind. It is alos about learning how to put things in perspective and reduce the gap between appearances and reality. To that end we must acquire a better knowledge of how the mind works and a more accurate insight into the nature of things, for in its deepest sense, suffering is intimately linked to a misapprehension of the nature of reality.

I’ll share more of his insights in future posts, but I’m really encouraged by this one.

Michael’s old friend Abraham (as interpreted by Esther and Gerry Hicks in the Art of Allowing seminars) said something on a CD, which really made me sit up and think today: Without questions, there are no answers.

I’ve always been the questioning sort. As soon as I could talk–which happened unusually late–I badgered my poor mother with questions. She would listen to me when I was in my high chair, my car seat, and anywhere else she put me. It was exhausting for her.

These days, it’s mostly exhausting for me. Most are some variant of the question, “What am I supposed to be doing here?”

The answers, Abraham asserts, are coming at us all the time from God, the Source of the Universe. We just need to ask the question and then prepare to receive the answer. The answers come automatically to even the toughest question: How can I get more money? Why don’t I have someone to love me? Should I find another job?

So ask the question and listen for the answer. Here’s the final word on that subject, from Mother Theresa. A journalist asked her, “What do you say to God when you pray?”

“I don’t say anything. I just listen.”

“And what does God say to you?”

“He doesn’t say anything. He just listens.”