Michael

Our faults irritate us most when we see them in others. - Pennsylvania Dutch Proverb

Do you ever stop to wonder when you feel irritation towards someone else? Have you stopped to examine the fault that is bothering you and objectively looked inside to see if you posses the same “fault?”

Generally speaking, what bothers us the most in others is something that we unconsciously possess, judge ourselves harshly or don’t like about ourselves. Because we don’t like that aspect of our self, we are tuned into that issue with others. We see it clearly on the outside, but find it difficult to see on the inside.

It’s really important when we have a reaction to someone that we quickly begin to look at the exact issue that is causing us grief. Next, we should immediately and objectively (this can be the hard part) look inside ourselves and determine if we have the same fault or something close. Our reactions to others are almost never about the other person. It’s all about internal issues that we are not facing.

Don’t forget that sometimes a perceived fault of another person triggers something quite different inside also. For example, someone who is not conforming to rules may trigger a response if you are a controlling type person. Or maybe somebody does something that you don’t like but you don’t speak up for yourself. The anger may be about you not speaking up and nothing at all about the other person.

Dig deep, you’ll eventually find the reason why you are upset. It will not be the other person.

Michael