Michael

Don’t run away from your mistakes. Embrace them. Take them out to dinner and become friends so that you can learn from them and grow. - Joe McNally

We’ve all made mistakes. Personally I don’t look at those decisions as mistakes anymore but it took a while to change my thinking around that.

When we tell ourselves we have made a mistake and focus on it, we start judging ourselves. Judging never really ends up as a positive experience. Over time it turns into guilt which can sit with a person for years. I think it is much easier to change our views about mistakes than to try and release long held guilty feelings. Plus you save yourself the misery of feeling guilty for years about various things.

Next time when you make something that you would call a mistake, stop. Look at the situation or decision as an opportunity to figure out what you really want. How can I change to make this situation feel better? What have I learned from this decision, incident or situation? How can I use that knowledge to go in the direction that I truly desire?

Life is about contrasts; lots and lots of contrasts. Don’t you think at some point you will go towards something that you don’t desire? It’s okay. It’s called learning. That’s life; a series of choices made in an ocean of contrasts. You can’t get it wrong. You can only choose to be temporarily miserable.

Have a great day!

Michael

It’s not the situation, but whether we react (negative) or respond (positive) to the situation that’s important. - Zig Ziglar

Contained in these words is the secret of living. Life is full of “situations.” That’s what life is supposed to be about; contrasting situations that give us the opportunity to choose what and how we are going to relate to them.

When we react, the situation becomes the cause of our emotional state, the reason for our misfortune, the straw that broke the camel’s back. Reacting removes us from responsibility and firmly places the blame on everything external. Your attitude is one of pessimism. But it’s not about what someone did to you or did to others. It’s not about a world that throws bad things your way.

On the contrary, responding to a situation immediately places you in a better place. You are looking at the situation from a place of what do I want to change. Your creative mind is open and ready to look for solutions that would be hidden if you were reacting. Life is exciting and full of interesting situations giving you a plethora of choices at any given moment. Your attitude is one of optimism.

Next time you are in the midst of a “situation”, step back and look at your emotional state. If it is anything less than happy or okay then you may be reacting instead of responding. Try thinking about what you want and why you want it. This will help you shift from looking at the situation you are in as a problem and focus you instead on what you desire.

It takes practice, so be easy on yourself. Awareness comes first. Change quickly follows.

Have a great day!

Michael

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. - Jan Glidewell

If we let it, the past can place a strangle hold on our present lives making it difficult to move forward, grow, change and be who we really want to be.

I had a realization yesterday that showed me how much I was clinging to past beliefs, attitudes, ideas and concepts. These old and useless thoughts were preventing me from moving forward with my life. It’s not easy sometimes looking at all this dark stuff. But, it’s necessary if you want to be free of it. Whatever you run from or don’t face will always have the upper hand. When you turn your back to what bothers you, loss of power and control is quick to follow.

Sometimes the past represents habits or patterns of thought while other times it may feel more like wrestling with demons. Guilt is another common excuse or justification we use to stay rooted in the past.

Next time you are feeling down and not as happy as you’d like to be, look deep inside and see if the past is holding you back. Trace your thoughts, feelings and beliefs and see where they take you. If you go back to a past decision, event, crisis or etc. then you may have found one source of your bad feelings. Try and look at the past situation with a fresh perspective from your present vantage point. Can you release the binds that are holding you to the past? If you are having difficulty, try talking with a friend, family member, clergy person or professional.

The last thing you want is to hold onto some old thought pattern that is preventing you from having a happy life now. Make the choice to change.

Michael

We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light. - Mary Dunbar

The biggest adventure we embark on is discovering “who we really are”. What are our unique talents? What special gifts do we possess that can be shared with the world? What specific things make us the most happy and fulfilled? How can our distinctive personalities be an example to others on their own path?

Sometimes we get so caught up in “life” that we forget about ourselves. This usually causes deep feelings of inadequacy, feelings of not being fulfilled and a decrease in our level of happiness. It’s important that we are selfish enough to take care of ourselves. We should treat our entire being with love and affection. We should pamper ourselves on a regular basis. We should be feeding our bodies, emotions, mind and soul on a regular basis.

When we treat ourselves with respect, we are more likely to discover our purpose or purposes. When our cups are full, then we are most able to help others even if it is solely by the example of how we live our lives.

Treat yourself as you would like to be treated. This personal gift will be priceless not only for yourself but everyone you meet.

Have a great day!

Michael

Most of the time when we desire or ask for something, it comes from a place of lack. You don’t have enough money, so you desire more money. Your relationship is not fulfilling so you desire an improvement or a new relationship. You hate your job so you desire a job that is rewarding and fun.

There is nothing wrong with wanting something you don’t have. It’s a very normal expression of living. It’s also how we naturally figure out what we want. But if you stop here, then you always have a little bit of negativity attached to your new desire because you are thinking about the lack of something in your life.

A quick and simple way to turn yourself towards a more positive view and feeling of your desire is to ask yourself the question, “Why do I desire or want this?” Answering this question immediately turns yourself away from the lack you are experiencing and focuses you squarely on what you want.

Example #1: I want more money because I enjoy the relaxation of paying all my bills. I love the freedom that extra money brings which allows me to travel and do other things I enjoy. More money allows me to help others which is very satisfying. More money gives me the ability to help my children when they have the need.

Example #2: I want a new job because I want to have fun at work. I enjoy the interaction of creative minded people working on projects collaboratively. I’m ready to take on more responsibility. I enjoy working for a boss that sees my potential and helps me reach for it.

You can see the difference in these two examples. Asking why you want something helps by using your imagination to feel what it is like to have what you are asking for. As you do this, your mood will improve which increases your potential for getting what you want. Solutions will magically come your way because your perspective is different.

Practice this on a regular basis and see how your life changes.

Have a great day!

Michael

You can’t think your way into acting positively, but you can act your way into thinking positively. - Nido Qubein

Though I believe you can think your way into acting positively, “acting” can be a great technique to help you think and be more positive. Let me explain.

Sometimes we just need a nudge, a little push towards being more positive. Most of us are closer than we might believe. You can’t get to a more positive state by complaining about something or anything for that matter.

If you are not in a good mood, try to picture in your mind’s eye, using your imagination, what you would do if you were more positive. How would you act differently? How would you interact with people? What would it be like at work? Would you do anything differently during your day? Would you start a project, learn something new or start a hobby?

Now, go out and do what you just imagined. Monitor your feelings while doing these activities. If your mood is not moving towards the positive, then try something else. While “acting” don’t forget to imagine how good this is supposed to feel.

It sounds crazy, but it works more times than not. Add this technique to your tool bag for getting to happiness.

Michael

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. - Oprah Winfrey

Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses. - Unknown

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. - Woody Allen

I have many external things I could list here that I’m very thankful for; family, friends, “stuff” and etc. But, what I’m most thankful for is my own life. Not just the breathing, walking, being alive part but the entire journey that I’ve been gifted.

Every decision, every turn in the road, every “mistake”, every chance meeting, every relationship, every trial and tribulation, every experience has lead me to this very moment. No regrets. No worries. Just being.

l have no desire for another person’s life nor do I want to change any of mine. It’s all good.

The more I enjoy exactly who and where I am at this very moment, the more I’m assured that will continue. Simply stated I know, but it took some years to get here. Though, looking back, it didn’t have to.

The most powerful gift you can give yourself is the gift of being thankful for your life.

Have a great day!

Michael

The tool of appreciation is a great technique for increasing your level of happiness, improving your state of being and shifting your attitude towards something more positive. You can either perform this process with internal dialogue or write it down.

The technique is very simple. Pick a subject, topic, idea, person, thing or etc. For whatever you picked, think or write down everything that you appreciate about it. Go for as long as possible. Set a goal for 5 or 10 minutes. The more things you find to appreciate, the better this technique will work.

You will find, typically very quickly, that your mood will elevate, negative emotion will lessen and you will just feel better all over. It can be quite astounding at times. Another great feature of this technique is that you can do it anywhere and at anytime; while driving (don’t write, obviously), at work, at home, while walking, before going to bed and when you arise.

In fact, this is a great technique to do before falling asleep and upon rising in the morning. You will go to sleep with more positive thoughts and then start your day on a brighter note.

As you gain experience with the tool of appreciation, pick things to appreciate that you feel negative emotion towards. Over time you will start to see your feelings about these things change which ultimately means how you relate to this thing will change.

Have a great day!

Michael

For quite some time I have had the desire to learn two Neil Young songs that I really love. The first is called “Look Out for My Love“; specifically the version performed by Neil on his Neil Young - MTV Unplugged CD. The second is called “Love to Burn“. I like the live electric version of this song played on the CD Neil Young - Weld with Crazy Horse. But, I had a perception or belief that they were too advanced for me. So, I put off even trying to learn them.

That is, until today. I downloaded the music and lyrics for these two songs and sat down with my guitar and started learning them while playing along with Neil on my CD player. I find that you learn a lot when playing with someone who is a lot better than you.

I was quite surprised by myself. In about an hour I had learned two thirds of Look Out for My Love and half of Love to Burn. Wow! What a great feeling. It felt like breaking through a mental barrier. I now have a different belief about learning new music. Plus, and this is the big bonus, it was a lot of fun.

It’s a simple lesson. Until you sit down and try something you’ll never know what you can do. I thought I had learned that lesson, but apparently I need to repeat it on a regular basis. It was a great way to open up my eyes to other possibilities unrelated to playing a song on the guitar.

Michael

There is a secret person undamaged in every individual. - Paul Shepard

I’m a firm believer that inside all of us, the core of our being is free from all the restrictions we have placed on ourselves. Fear doesn’t exist in this individual. Obstacles have been removed. Love of the self is constant. This individual flows with the river of life.

Every single one of us has this pure version of ourselves just waiting to get out. The important thing is that this inside individual is not really separate and is available to us right now. We just have to make the decision to make contact.

I believe by consistently turning towards feeling a little bit better when we are feeling negative emotion is one path to making a connection to our inner selves. If you view your feelings as just an indicator of how close you are to your inner being, you can adjust when you are not feeling well.

It doesn’t take a lot of effort and it doesn’t mean that you have to move from depression to bliss. Small steps. Depression to anger. Anger to frustration. Little steps. Figure out ways to turn your thoughts to something a little bit better. That’s all it takes. Each turn towards a more positive thought brings you that much closer to your true self who is really never any further than what you are thinking. Remember, I don’t mean to convince yourself you are okay with something that is negative to you. I mean to find a way to change your focus to something more positive that you can believe in.

Try this for a few days and see how you feel.

Michael