Michael

The difference between holding on to a hurt or releasing it with forgiveness is the difference between laying your head at night on a pillow filled with thorns or a pillow filled with rose petals. - Loren Fischer

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills. - Catherine Ponder

One of the most powerful single acts we can do is forgive. Most people find it easier to forgive others than forgive themselves. Self blame can be found at the core of many emotional issues.

Learning to forgive yourself is a giant leap on the road to happiness. Each time you forgive yourself for something you’ve done, didn’t do, said or any other action where you judge yourself, you remove a layer that is blocking you from being more whole or complete.

Work on forgiving the little things you feel guilty about and not the big ones that happen only every so often. These little “guilts” pile up over your lifetime and become a heavy emotional burden. Though this may seem strange to some, I would suggest consciously forgiving yourself by looking in the mirror and saying out loud what you are forgiving. Be specific. Look into your eyes. This is a powerful exercise and could potentially change your life.

Think what you have guilty feelings about and start (today) forgiving yourself.

Have a great day!

Michael

Success often comes from not knowing your limitations. - Frank Tyger

Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. - Author unknown

Success. For many it’s an elusive beast, always just out of reach, while others seem to exude success from every pore of their being.

Each of us defines success in different ways as our desires, passions and needs widely differ. Ultimately, to be successful, you have to view yourself as a limitless being. When we focus on what we don’t know, what we can’t currently do or what is lacking in our lives, success will always be stuck in the future. Many people throughout history have overcome huge limitations to ultimately be successful. Use their example as inspiration to get through tough and challenging times while on your way to the success you deserve.

“Never giving up” is a common thread that runs through successful people. Many have had failure after failure but the difference is that they tried just one more time. Make “just one more time” a mantra on your journey. When thinking about this, do it from a place of excitement, hope and passion. Look at failures or mistakes as fantastic opportunities for refining your plan or adjusting your approach.

Don’t give up. Life will support you if you let it.

Have a great day!

Michael

Make education a continuing, never-ending process. - Nido Qubein

I have an intense curiosity about the world, how things work and the meaning of everything. I am constantly and consistently striving to learn something new every day. I’m fascinated by many subjects and never seem to have a lack of something new to learn.

I think it’s important to learn something new on a regular basis. It keeps the mind fresh, puts new life into your curiosity, jumpstarts your creativity, enhances your logical thinking and gives you an appreciation for the diversity of our world.

You don’t have to be quite as obsessive (maybe that’s too strong a word) as me, but striving to learn new things on a regular basis; daily, weekly or monthly will go a long way towards promoting mental health which helps in sustaining your overall happiness level.

Nowadays there are a host of resources available at our disposal; regular schools, online resources, public libraries, continuing education, craft/music/art classes, social groups, clubs and etc. If you don’t know where to start, just pick something that sounds remotely interesting and try it out. If you don’t like it, drop that idea and try something else. You can’t make a mistake here. It’s all about trying something new, learning a new skill, fact, craft and etc. Have some fun while you are experimenting.

You may find that you will generate an interest that you didn’t know you had until you tried it.

Enjoy.

Michael

Take some time and really listen to your own inner wisdom. - From a fortune cookie

Our inner wisdom is more powerful than we may realize. It contains a wealth of specific knowledge tailored for our own lives. Most of us try to find our answers with outside or external methods, but those only go so far. There always seems to be something lacking. Additionally, looking for answers in the external cultivates a feeling of “I don’t have control over my own life.”

All of us hold the answers to our most pressing questions. We always have access to that information, but we either don’t listen or don’t know how to get in touch with our inner wisdom.

Here are some techniques that may help you get in touch with your own inner wisdom:

1. Learn to quiet the mind through regular meditation or other similar techniques.
2. Take solitary walks. Many times you will get in touch with yourself more when walking in nature.
3. Ask yourself out loud the question you need answering and then go do something else. Sometimes this frees up the mind to work on the problem, somewhat like a computer program running in the background.
4. Ask yourself the question out loud. The first answer you hear in your head is usually your inner self.
5. Learn to recognize your inner wisdom voice. It’s typically the quiet unobtrusive voice barely heard over all the mental rabble going on in your head. It can also come out in strong urges or feelings, ideas that pop into your head and etc.
6. Cultivate a belief that you have the answers to all your questions or problems. This in turn will generate self-trust which will allow you to hear your inner wisdom.

Getting in touch with you own inner wisdom will give you a sense of self-control over your life, open a world of creative solutions to your problems, give you access to wisdom that is designed just for you and in the end, help you to have a happier, more fulfilling life.

Have a great day!

Michael

Nat and I are developing short brochures with exercises to help in your pursuit of happiness. You can download a PDF version of the blog text below.

—————————————————-

Nearly all of us can list activities that make us happy. It might be listening to favorite songs, or playing with the dog, or cooking Mexican food. Some of these are easy to do. You can do them any time or any place. They don’t cost a lot of money.

Create a list of these activities and carry it with you. Then, if you start to feel sad or anxious, you can pull out your list and do one of the things that makes you feel good.

EXERCISE:

1. Write down 10 activities that make you happy (jogging in the park, picking flowers, eating a sandwich from your favorite deli, calling your best friend)
2. Add 10 more activities to your list
3. Rate each item from 1-10, where 10 means that every time you do this you feel great and 1 means this activity makes you feel good some of the time but not always
4. Cross out every activity that you rate lower than 8
5. Copy all items with a score of 8 or greater to a new list
6. Put this list in a place that you nearly always have with you (your wallet or purse, your car)
7. Take it out and look at it before you leave the house in the morning
8. Plan when you are going to do the next one on your list
9. Do one each day
10. [EXTRA CREDIT] Write out for each activity everything you enjoy about doing it (It is very important to know why something makes you happy)

Happiness is a habit. Your written inventory of activities that make you feel good makes it easy for you to cultivate the habit.

Michael

Nat and I are developing short brochures with exercises to help in your pursuit of happiness. You can download a PDF version of the blog text below.

———————————–

Fears are limiting beliefs. They can curb our creativity, stifle our happiness and prevent us from being all we want to be. Fears take away our power, but often we have the power to see through them. Many fears are based only in a remembered past or in an imagined future, not in a present danger.

Seeing these types of fears for what they are is one way to overcome them.

Exercise

1. Make a list of your fears and rate each on a scale of 1 - 10; ten being the most fearful and one being the least.
2. Pick one fear from the list that has an average in rating (say 4-6 out of 10) It should not be so terrifying that it completely immobilizes you all the time and not be so small that it doesn’t really matter.
3. Write down answers to the following questions. Your answers will help you see the fear for what it is.
   1. What feelings are associated with this fear?
   2. What other symptoms does it include (cold sweat, nausea, self-doubt)?
   3. Do you have any life experiences that may have contributed to this fear?
   4. Do you think this fear is a symptom of a deeper underlying fear?
   5. What circumstances or life events exacerbate this fear?
   6. What is this fear preventing you from doing?
   7. What would you do differently if you didn’t have this fear?
4. Study your answers for proof that the fear is less overwhelming than you think when you are consumed by it. Does anything about it seem ridiculous? Have you outgrown it? You are studying its weakness. Don’t hesitate to get professional help if overcoming any particular fear seems overwhelming. The work you do here will be an excellent foundation.
5. Repeat this process for each of your fears when you have a handle on the first fear.

The first step in overcoming your fear is to see it for what it is.  By facing fear and unmasking it, you can weaken its hold on you.

Michael

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said. - Peter F. Drucker

Listening. For many, it’s a lost art. But, it’s definitely worth starting to do more. Listening is a fantastic gift to a friend, a partner, children and frankly to just about anyone.

Many times the sole act of listening will give someone the exact support they need. As a listener, your main goal is three fold:

• Tune down or your thinking.
• Stop trying to figure out solutions to their problems.
• Hear whatever the person is saying; especially between their words.

When people realize that they are being listened to, they become relaxed, more in touch with their true feelings and allow themselves to release whatever they need to get out.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should sit there and not utter a word. Of course you can talk, but in a more supportive role, helping the other person to express what they need to express, encouraging them to get to the detail that is needed.

Remember, the person in need of a listener is not looking for solutions to their problems unless they specifically ask. Instead of giving an answer to that question why don’t you ask them how they would answer if someone had asked them? I believe that the everyone has their own answers. You can help them to find it. Their own solution/answer will be much better in the long run.

Make listening one of your many tools to help others.

Michael

Nothing befalls a man except what is in his nature to endure. - Marcus Aurelius

A fundamental belief of mine is that we get exactly what we can handle. Even in our most challenging moments, we are not getting any more than we can deal with.

We are uniquely suited to everything that comes our way. It’s our life which means we have all the necessary tools to handle whatever life brings us.

I meet many people who believe differently. Their world is one where the “universe” is giving them undeserved trials and tribulations, difficulties that are too harsh and problems without solutions. Our perspective begins to change by incorporating the belief that we can perfectly handle everything that we are given. We no longer feel victimized which immediately gives us back our power. Our creativity subsequently increases. Our perspective broadens allowing us to see more of what we are capable of doing. Magically, multiple solutions arise to previously unsolvable problems.

We can endure all that happens to us. There are numerous examples around the world. I’m sure you already know some of them and you probably have several examples in your circle of friends.

Your life is unique and so are what you are capable of enduring. Don’t forget that.

Michael

There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the infinite passion of life. - Federico Fellini

It’s easy to get so wrapped up in the details of life that we forget or miss the big picture. Our many responsibilities tie up our attention and distract us away from more enjoyment. We miss the the really important things that define our life. The passion for our life passes us by.

When things get overwhelming, it’s a good time to stop, step back and take in everything without judgment. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you doing some tasks because it’s easier than doing some other higher priority items?
• Have you taken on so much responsibility that it is practically impossible to complete them in a timely manner leaving you with a deep sense of anxiety?
• Are you doing anything for fun or is it work, work, work?
• Do you have a strong sense that you are missing something or not being true to your self?
• Do you have feelings of guilt because of things you are not doing?
• Do you feel like you don’t have a purpose in life or not know what your purpose is?
• Do you have the fundamental sense that there must be more to life?

The good news is that you can change RIGHT NOW. Think about the answers to the questions above. Write them down. Talk about them with a close friend. Be open and objective with yourself and with your answers. Practice no judgment. Consider this research into improving your life. Pick one thing to change at this very moment.

You can’t get it wrong. Seriously. Life is a continual movement. What most people call mistakes are really just points of transition or turns on your larger journey. A mistake is simply a realization you did something that you don’t want to do or did something against your desires. Now that you know, just do something different. It’s that simple. We make it a big issue when it’s not necessary or very helpful.

Have a great day!

Michael

The most exciting time of your life is right now. - Michael Thornton

The most exciting time of your life is right now. The past is over. Only memories should survive now. The future is still being decided and will only be exciting when it becomes the present.

If we look to the future as more exciting, then we miss being excited right now. This is the moment we are living. Your future’s template (hopes, dreams, desires and etc.) are formed by you from the present moment. The future will be exciting if you are excited right now.

The future is just another point on your life’s journey forward. It becomes special when it meets you in the present. The past is also another point on your life’s journey. The difference, obviously, is that it’s already happened. It’s over and done with. You can’t change it nor should you worry about it. All you can do is be what you want to be right now.

Right now is your most exciting time. Your most powerful moment. Your gateway to everything you desire. Make good use of it.

Have a great day!

Michael