Michael

Last night in London, I was able to have dinner with my good friend Rebecca. We went to a restaurant called the Union Cafe which is only a few blocks from Bond Street Station. Once we corrected an “ordering mistake” on our part, the reminder of the dinner was lovely.

But, really the actual dinner only had a small part to play in the evening. Our conversation was the highlight. Our talks and chats are always stimulating and invigorating. Don’t you find that with good friends? Sometimes when we talk, time seems to stand still. It feels like we always have enough time to say what either of us needs to share no matter how much time we actually have.

Invariably, we seem to meet at the most opportune time. We both have numerous examples of this over the several years we have known each other.

Tonight, Rebecca needed to talk. I needed to listen. It worked out perfectly. Our relationship is such that we can freely share intimate details of our lives that we wouldn’t typically share with others. It’s all about trust which was built around tremendous personal growth and changes that both of us shared together while I lived near London a few years ago.

We met in synchronistic circumstances (some use the term coincidence) on a plane traveling to Boston in 2002. Our relationship started off magically and we have been very close friends since. I think of her as family; my European family in fact.

I seem to grow just a little bit faster when we have our talks as they are always quite direct, honest and consciousness elevating. 

Friends like these are gifts and should be cherished, as they are priceless. Cultivate these relationships and you will always be wealthy.

To great friends.

Michael

I’ve been thinking a lot today about how we hold on to so many things; stuff around our house, old emotional hurts, relationships, bad habits, negative behaviors, old useless beliefs and etc. Most of the time we do this well beyond the point of reason. Letting go can be very hard. But it is vitally important for strong positive emotional growth. When we cling to things that have gone past their useful lifetime, we hold ourselves back from progressing to a more mature or evolved state of being. We also tend to use up a lot of our energy holding ourselves to things we should let go. It can be a really freeing experience to release or let go of something that has been holding us back.

My weakest area has been in relationships. In the past, I have found them very hard to let go. But, recently I’ve made significant progress in that area of my life. I now move on much quicker and regain my state of happiness faster than in the past. I now view each relationship as a stepping stone and not the one and only relationship. I learn what I need to learn. I have no ill will towards the person. I remember the good times. I believe that another person will come along better than the last.

When you learn to let go of things that should be let go, you’ll find that your state of happiness will instantly increase. Which will increase your chances that your next experience will be that much better. Letting go will allow your life experiences to become increasingly more enjoyable and fulfilling. And of course that will again increase your level of happiness and this positive cycle can then repeat over and over again.

So, pick something you need to let go. Maybe a small emotional hurt from the past. Take a look and see what you have learned. By looking at what you have learned your mind is a little less rigid and you’ll find it easier to release that hurt. You could also do a small ritual if that works for you. Write down on a piece of paper what you want to let go. Then place the paper in a burning candle and visualize releasing what you are holding on to as the paper burns. But, really, it doesn’t matter how you let it go. The important part is to let it go.

Remember it’s never to late to release something that is holding you back from being as happy as you can be in that moment.

Michael

Don Miguel Ruiz, a nagual, who teaches the knowledge of the ancient Toltecs, has a very good book called The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book. I’ve read about 3/4 of it and I have gotten a lot out of it. It’s a slightly different insight into the nature of love and hence the nature of relationships. (Relationships can be any kind; romantic, friendship, and etc.)

In the second chapter (p. 26) called The Loss of Innocence, Don Ruiz talks about how we as children do not have any definition of love as an abstract concept. He states, “We just live love. It’s the way we are.” But soon, we begin to play the game of adults. We learn fear. We accept injustice. We learn to accept a loss of freedom as normal.

Chapter 4 is titled The Track of Love, The Track of Fear. Some snippets from this chapter:

Love has no obligations, Fear is full of obligations.

Love has no expectations. Fear is full of expectations.

Love is based on respect. Fear doesn’t respect anything, including itself.

Love is ruthless; it doesn’t feel sorry for anyone, but it does have compassion. Fear is full of pity, it feels sorry for everyone.

Love is completely responsible. Fear avoids responsibility.

Love is always kind. Fear is always unkind.

Love is unconditional. Fear is full of conditions.

Other key points Don Miguel discusses are The Dream, The Perfect Relationship and Healing the Emotional Body.

Some of the concepts you have probably read or heard based on other traditions, but I liked the fresh simple approach that is taken with this most important subject. I don’t think we can hear these concepts too many times.

I’ll leave you with a quote from the book jacket summary.

When we master Love, we align with the Spirit of Life passing through us. We are no longer the body, or the mind, or the soul; we are Love. Then every action we take is an expression of Love, and Love in action can only produce happiness.

One of my closest friends lives in Austin. We have been friends for about 10 years. She is quite an extraordinary person. To quote David Crosby speaking about CSN&Y, “We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’re still playing together.”

I have never been tested more than with this relationship. And you know what? I wouldn’t change one thing. It has been an amazing ride. As I look back over the years, I can only smile, from ear to ear.

We talked until 3:00 in the morning this last Friday. It’s funny. I don’t get tired during these late night conversations. In fact, I get engerized. The topics are always interesting. We know each other so well and trust each other so completely that we easily slip into having fun.

Over the years as we have individually gone through intense struggles. We have always been there to support each other without fail. She knows that she can call me anytime. And I can do the same.

It is really hard to imagine life without her. I feel very fortunate for this friendship. Accepting someone completely and getting the same in return is an experience that is hard to put into words. The freedom one gets from complete acceptance by another is not measurable.

Kim, Thank you for the gift that you are. Don’t change a thing! Unless, of course, you want to.

I look forward to many more years of being your friend.

Michael

It has been an incredibly hectic week. Lots of things happening at once. Some actually requiring me to work overtime in keeping my attitude high. LOL.

But, today I was able to spend a few hours with a dear friend. I’ve known Rebecca for several years. How we met, though, is something for another blog.

What I enjoy and love about Rebecca is that every time we are together I feel like I grow by leaps and bounds. It’s hard to put my finger on it, but between our conversations and the adventures that seem to unfold at a blinding speed around us, I personally grow at a faster rate than most other times.

With that friendship also comes a deep trust and respect. That is what being “rich” is all about, don’t you think?

Sometimes Rebecca and I are not able to see each other in person, but with technology today (emails, phone, etc.) it never seems like it has been a long time between “real” visits.

So, Rebecca, I thank you, because one of the reasons I am who I am today, is you. And that’s a really good thing.

We are traveling through Belgium now. The miles have silently rolled by as my friend and I have shared this part of the journey together. I have, at her request, exposed her to some great music that has touched my soul over the years. It is always interesting to me to see what people get out of a particular piece of music. And I love sharing what I enjoy with someone else and visa versa. That’s one of the wonderful things about friends isn’t it?

One close friend is worth a host of acquaintances. I am very fortunate to have a few really close friends and I count my blessings every day for their friendship.

This was a short note, but I want to get back to the adventure!