Michael

Don’t have that conversation with yourself where you say, “He’s got more talent than I do,” or “She’s faster than I am.” Success depends on what’s in your mind…Success is about your spirit. – George Foreman

Your self confidence can take a huge hit when you compare yourself to others. In fact, comparison to others will completely shut yourself down from doing things that you enjoy. What quickly follows is a tremendous drop in your level of happiness.

The majority of my life was rife with comparison to others. It was not a very pleasant time; low self-confidence, fleeting moments of true happiness and no avenue to get out of this negative spiral.

Finally, about 10 years ago, I was able to figure out how to get out of the comparison game. Here were my thoughts about comparison that helped me bridge the gap from my negative place to where I am now:

Take any field or subject. There is one person on the planet that is the worst and there is one person on the planet that is the best. Everyone else falls in between. Not a few of us, but every other person falls in the middle. Now, if you are the worst then you have two choices; continue practicing, performing and etc. because you love it or if you hate what you are doing, then do something else. If you are the best, then congratulations!

Everyone in the middle has the same choice as the worst. We can continue in our field or subject because we really love doing it or stop and do something else.

The only reason to do anything is because of the enjoyment we get from doing it. Two of my favorite activities are photography and playing music. It would be easy to compare my photography to Ansel Adams and the like. But, frankly that would be counterproductive. I take photographs for the sheer enjoyment of it. My guitar playing is not rock star quality either, but you know what? I love playing music.

So, we can relax and have fun with our activities, pastimes, hobbies and etc. or we can be miserable because we aren’t the best. Which sounds better to you?

Michael

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. – Maya Angelou

Too many times we make decisions based on thinking we have to settle for one thing or another. Our true selves don’t accept this and we react by feeling bad about the decision, questioning why we are making the decision and have a general feeling of “giving up.” Life doesn’t have to be this way.

An open heart implies hope and a belief that everything will work out. Having an open heart when making a decision means that the best possible solutions will come your way. It means that you are ready to take new steps towards a better life.

An open heart means we are ready to try something new or learn a new skill. It means we have learned to forgive ourselves for past mistakes which are irrelevant in the present moment anyway. An open heart sees the world of infinite possibilities. An open heart implies love of self and others. Wisdom and patience come from open hearts.

The interesting thing is that every human being has the capability of having an open heart. It’s actually more natural than many believe.

Remember that it is never too late to start something new. It is never too late to make a positive change. It’s never too late to cultivate an open heart.

Nothing is stopping you except your own thoughts.

Michael

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. – Robert Frost

I think the road less traveled has to do with being true to yourself; being who you are, wherever you are. Apparently that’s hard for many of us. We tend to be what others want us to be, what society deems we should be, what our employer pays us to be. Fears and anxieties also play a big part in repressing our true self.

But, that’s why it’s the road less traveled, isn’t it? If it was easy, everyone would be taking that road. I know one thing. It’s the best choice. It’s the road that will ultimately lead to a more satisfying and fulfilling life. It’s the one that will bring you the most happiness.

I took the easy road for most of my life; the four lane highway with regular rest stops along the way. The problem was that it ended up being really boring. I wasn’t seeing all of the sights. I wasn’t having as much fun as I deserved.

So, I stopped, went back a few steps and found the other road. What I found was that taking the road less traveled is not a onetime decision. It’s a constant choice that must be made, every second, every day, every year. Being yourself in all situations takes a constant diligence and a consistent way of dealing with what life throws at you. I can’t say that I always make that decision, but I get there most of the time.

Be yourself. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Michael

Differing views, opinions, and beliefs add texture and color to the world’s tapestry… Controversial times, while difficult to weather, can change the world. – Michelle Sedas

I don’t think anyone would disagree that we live in controversial times; times of tremendous differences that can bring about significant change. Sometimes it can be challenging when the prevailing way of thinking is one of right and wrong. Having a strict edge between right and wrong can cloud a complex issue or hide a potential compromise that would actually benefit all.

In all controversy, including personal, keeping your mind open, being able to truly listen and staying objective can go a long way towards defusing a situation. What most people don’t think about is how controversy and widely differing views can actually be the seeds for positive world change.

It requires everyone to be unattached to their own strong opinions. It requires extending respect. It requires openness to compromise. It requires not taking things personally. It requires the appropriate use of anger; i.e. expressing strong emotion without harming others. It requires hope and faith.

If we can focus on these qualities, we can free our minds to concentrate on a solution instead of the problem. Next time you are involved in a controversy, a meeting of people with vastly differing opinions or beliefs, take a step back and think about cultivating the qualities like I mentioned previously. It just may be the one thing that initiates positive change.

Have a great day!

Michael

Live your life and forget your age. – Norman Vincent Peale

Society, at times, tries to dictate what is appropriate behavior for different age groups. I find that funny. Certain norms seem so repressive that I don’t know how you can have any fun under their “rule.”

Secretly, we all want to have fun and enjoy life without being told how to do it. We all enjoy freedom. But, the rules of society instill a level of fear and intimidation that some of us use as an excuse to behave in certain ways. I really mean it when I say we use those rules as an excuse, because they really don’t have any binding hold on us or our behavior.

My grandmother taught me that age is irrelevant. That was a big lesson at an early age. So, it makes me feel hope when I see older people doing things that are fun, exciting and different. This new generation of older people are doing more, having more fun and not cultivating the belief that the older you get the more you should be staying home. They are out there experiencing the world in diverse and fun ways.

Our minds are the biggest limiters of our lives. Even people with with appears to others to be constraining handicaps are doing more than some people with no injuries or problems. It’s all about the mind, what we think and therefore what we believe. Our thoughts are our secret ingredient for change and experiencing fun.

The time is now. Don’t wait any longer to throw down the rules that bind you. Go have some fun.

Michael

Creativity arises out of the tension between spontaneity and limitations, the latter (like the river banks) forcing the spontaneity into the various forms which are essential to the work of art or poem. – Rollo May

Take a look at this short video that my daughter sent me yesterday. It is quite amazing. You may not understand what is going on at first. Just be patient, continue watching and all will be clear. You may need to turn up your volume at first because it starts off fairly quiet, put every sound is important.

I love examples of creative expression that are unusual or never seen before. Enjoy.

You can view the video here.

Michael

As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has–or ever will have–something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression. – Fred Rogers

We are all have a unique opportunity to help each other. Each one of us carries something that no one else has and that is our individuality. It’s what makes the world go around. It’s what makes us so interesting.

By using encouragement, constructive criticism, kind words, a smile or two, gentle pushes, help and many other things we can make a difference in someone’s life. It’s that simple. We can make a difference with family, friends and strangers. It doesn’t matter.

Make the decision to be the one who steps up to the challenge and help someone be who they can and want to be. It’s up to each of us.

Michael

Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project blog had some fantastic ideas on her post titled “A New, Quick, Easy Way to Keep a Non-Journal.” This was actually a “tweak” to an idea of hers in an earlier post, “Keep a One Sentence Journal.”

The one sentence journal idea is simple. Instead of trying to write reams of material in a journal every day, of which most people give up after a short time, write one sentence. This one sentence would describe a significant event of the day. So, after months or years, you would have a succinct history/memory of all the most important things that happened every day of your life. You could focus on general topics or pick something more specific like your young children that are growing, learning and experiencing new things every day.

Gretchen’s twist on her original idea is to buy a blanked lined notebook. At the top of every page list the day, like January 3rd and etc. for every day of the year. Each day when you write the important event, put the year first and then the one sentence description. Her example looks like this:

January 3rd:

2009 – first night in my new apartment in San Diego

2010 -bought my dog Sandy

2011 – finally finished the tree house

After a decade, you would have 10 entries for each day of the year. You could look back and have pleasant memories each and every day. Very cool. I really like this idea.

And if you record positive memories in that one sentence, when you look back and read it, you’ll experience nothing but positive feelings.

Thanks Gretchen.

Have a good day!

Michael

Don’t believe the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing–it was here first. – Robert Jones Burdette

I’ve never had this particular belief myself, but I know many other people who feel the world owes them something. They feel their life is not all they want it to be and then blame the world for their own problems. Hence, if the world is the cause of all their issues, then they should be compensated in some way.

I see things slightly differently. I believe that we are solely responsible for our lives regardless of where we have been born, the state of our family, our economic situation or a host other factors that people use to put the blame/responsibility on something else.

My life thrives because of my attitude. I can react in any number of ways to what life throws at me. I’m always in complete control of how I choose to react. So, my life is my own and not the world’s. Therefore, I don’t feel the world owes me one thing.

It’s a much more relaxing way to live once you get used to the idea of taking responsibility for your own life. Personally, I don’t want to depend on anything outside of myself for my own happiness because once those go away, your happiness level drops. I don’t like the sound of that at all.

So, what ends up happening is that I can be happy most of the time without any outside or external influence. Though, I make my own way, it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being and doing things with other people. The difference is that I don’t need them to be happy. I think that it makes being around people that much more enjoyable, because I don’t depend on them for having a great life.

It took many years to get to this point, but it was worth it. I chipped away at my dependencies little by little and before I knew it, here I am.

And that’s a good place.

Michael

If it’s not fun, why do it? – Jerry Greenfield of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream

This is the real question isn’t it? In fact, it’s the one I live by every single day because if it’s not fun, it’s a waste of my life.

I’m sure you’re thinking, how can everything be fun? Surely I must do some things that aren’t fun, right? Not really. If there is something I must do and I don’t feel like doing it right now, I do one of two things. I either don’t do it or I change my attitude such that the very thing I don’t want to do becomes fun.

It’s been a technique that has worked well for me for many years now. It means I complain less about my life. It means that I find more meaning in what I do. Most importantly, more of my day and therefore my life is filled with fun things.

Ultimately, all this means is that I’m happier more of the time. I like that a lot!

It’s all about choice. We have a lot more choices than we have been lead to believe.

Go make the one that brings fun to your life.

Michael