Michael

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. - Epictetus

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said. - Peter F. Drucker

Listening. For many, it’s a lost art. But, it’s definitely worth starting to do more. Listening is a fantastic gift to a friend, a partner, children and frankly to just about anyone.

Many times the sole act of listening will give someone the exact support they need. As a listener, your main goal is three fold:

• Tune down or your thinking.
• Stop trying to figure out solutions to their problems.
• Hear whatever the person is saying; especially between their words.

When people realize that they are being listened to, they become relaxed, more in touch with their true feelings and allow themselves to release whatever they need to get out.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should sit there and not utter a word. Of course you can talk, but in a more supportive role, helping the other person to express what they need to express, encouraging them to get to the detail that is needed.

Remember, the person in need of a listener is not looking for solutions to their problems unless they specifically ask. Instead of giving an answer to that question why don’t you ask them how they would answer if someone had asked them? I believe that the everyone has their own answers. You can help them to find it. Their own solution/answer will be much better in the long run.

Make listening one of your many tools to help others.

Michael

On the Train

We leave the Hotel El Fuerte 15 minutes late for the train station. The Chihuahua Pacific Railway was our preferred mode of transportation to the very small village of Bahuichivo where a bus would take us to our final destination of Cerocahui. The Hotel Mission would be our home for two days as we explored the surrounding countryside and the small village of approximately 1800 people.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, our train was 1 hour and 10 minutes late. According to our guide, Mexican trains have their own time table and the schedule can change continuously. You just have to learn to go with it.

The trip was long (4 ½ hours) as we inched our way up the canyon slopes and followed one of the many rivers very closely. The train swayed back and forth as we crossed multiple bridges and traversed many tunnels.  This area was incredibly rugged. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.

The Mission Hotel Bell

Before we boarded the train, our guide told us that there would be observation decks to take photographs and view the rugged landscape we were traveling through. I had to laugh as I entered the observation deck. Basically, it was the area between the train cars. So, to take a photograph, you had to hold on to the hand rails with one hand, lean towards the opened train car door (top half was opened) and take a photograph with the other hand. The intense swaying and bouncing made it quite challenging. I was reminded of trying to take photos of orcas in Puget Sound earlier this summer on a severely rocking boat.

We reached Bahuichivo safe and sound but still swaying to and fro.  Cerocahui is 8 miles south of Bahuichivo. So, we boarded a bus-like vehicle, our bags thrown on the top and off we bounced down the dirt road towards our destination. 45 minutes later we thankfully reached the Hotel Mission. Cold margaritas were waiting for us. A late lunch was quickly consumed giving us time to walk around the small village or rest.

The evening started with some local entertainment. It was quite relaxing. Dinner consisted of local caught fish peppered with a multitude of spices, rice and a bowl of lentil soup. Hmmmm. Very tasty.

Time for bed. Tomorrow we will travel to Barranca de Urique to see some dramatic canyon scenery. Who knows what else?

View my photos for the day (28 photos).

Michael

Hold a true friend with both hands. - Nigerian Proverb

The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. - Elbert Hubbar

For some reason today, I was thinking about how rich I am with the friends that are in my life. I don’t talk to some for weeks and others I talk to almost every day. It really doesn’t seem to matter. With this core group of friends, time and distance doesn’t have any meaning. It only takes a few minutes to re-connect, catch up and get on with our conversation as if it had just ended 5 minutes ago.

True friends accept you as you are, regardless of your quirks, eccentricities or opinions. They are the ones that support you when times are tough and the ones who help you celebrate when everything is going great in your life.

The sense of trust I have with my friends is a big factor also. They can be counted on for their integrity, honest words and ability to adapt to change. Plus their sense of humor is something I can count on.

I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Thanks to all of you. You know who you are.

Michael

Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind. - Henry James

I don’t know about you but when I read the newspaper or watch the news, you would think that kindness was something rare and unusual, rarely happening in our society. But, I know better. The news is skewed so far to one side that it rarely reports accurately the “good” things that are happening in the world.

We are bombarded with numerous problems, a terrible crisis somewhere in the world, someone attacking someone else, one human tragedy after another, disease, environmental disasters and on and on and on. It’s so bad that I rarely watch or read the news. I don’t want to be affected by all of the negativity. It’s the best change I’ve done.

But, I know something different. I see numerous acts of kindness every single day between total strangers. In fact, so many in a week that it would completely take up the entire news time to report them. Despite the terrible things that are reported in almost every news outlet, we live amongst some of the most amazing people ever. Miracles occur regularly. People are doing good deeds every day. Innovation and creativity are alive and well solving problems that “plague” our society.

Kindness is rampant. Are you part of the movement? Have you practiced any kindness today? You get an exponential return on your effort. Don’t wait.

Have a great day!

Michael

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

I had a chat with an old friend today. We have not really been that close for a very long time but still talk every so often. Our disagreements made it difficult to carry on the friendship at a deep level, so we decided to part ways.

Periodically we have a brief conversation on the phone. Sometimes I have to really let go of my old feelings or “hurts” to carry on the conversation at a mature level. I found out today when they called again that I didn’t have to work that hard to keep my feelings at bay. I had finally released them; probably some time ago without consciously realizing it.

So, my old friend was having some challenges and difficulties in their life at the moment. I was able to stand back and give some help based on my own experience. I found that it wasn’t hard at all to stay objective and not get wrapped up into the details and drama of all their issues.

That was a freeing experience. Three important things were evident: 1) I no longer held on to the old feelings. 2) I was confident enough in my own experiences to give useful advice, and 3) I didn’t get caught up in the drama that is their life.

Hooray! Progress is a good thing.

Have a great day.

Michael

One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention. - Jim Rohn

It’s a simple thing to give someone attention, but most of the time we choose to do something else. We are more involved with our own thoughts, actions and “responsibilities” and so we are too involved to give another our time.

The gift of your attention will be something that will be remembered, consciously or unconsciously. Sometimes the feeling of getting attention will be subtle and the person will not be clear on why they feel good when being around you. Others, especially children, will know and consequently will develop feelings of being cared for and liked.

True listening is one of the easiest ways to give another attention. A person practicing listening skills will not be thinking about what they are going to say next. True listening involves completely focusing on what the other person is saying and being totally in the present moment. Practicing this skill will be a gift very much appreciated by the other person. Nowadays it seems to be a rare experience. Maybe you can help change that.

Have a great day!

Michael

Friendship is a word the very sight of which in print makes the heart warm. - Augustine Birrell

I was reflecting today on my many good friends. I feel very fortunate to have the caliber of friends that I have. They seem to be spread all over the place; multiple U.S. states and several countries. The diversity that those relationships bring is a bonus.

I’ve never been one to have large numbers of friends, but I do have and cultivate several very close friendships. I will do anything to help a friend of mine. I have in the past and I will do so in the future. My friendships were the first place I was able to practice unconditional love outside of my family. I believe that is a great first step for true internal change.

For my close friends, time and distance does not seem to be a factor in our relationships. It usually only takes a few minutes to sync up and then it is like we were never apart. That’s always felt strange to me. In a good way, but strange nevertheless.

So, to all my friends, thanks for the support you have given me, the laughs, the help in navigating those tough times and for being there when no one else cared. These are the gifts that make life truly meaningful and I will never take them for granted.

Have a great day!

Michael

Life is giving. Life is receiving. In short, life is being connected. - Tijn Touber

If you think of life as giving and receiving, you are the part that connects these two ends of the stick. You are the connector. Without you there would be no way to give or receive.

Life is a serious of endless and complex connections. Just look at nature for example. We are only just beginning to understand how all the species in a particular area interrelate. Sometimes the connections are singular and unique while others are broader and much more encompassing.

Think about the connections you have with other people. You have a core group of friends and family. Each one of them has a core group of family, friends and acquaintances. Some overlap while others are unique. If you were to draw out on paper using circles and lines all the connections, it would become overwhelming in only 2 or 3 degrees of separation from yourself.

I find that fascinating, because it means that we will never know how our actions and behaviors affect the people that we are connected. We quickly lose sight of the endless parade of connections. How far out or deep does a smile go? How about doing something positive for something? What about the reverse? What if you act poorly or negative towards someone? How does that spread in the series of connections that you are the center of?

Can you also draw the conclusion that there must be a tipping point where if a certain number of people are acting in a positive or negative manner it must have a huge effect on everyone? Don’t you want to be a part of the group pushing the tipping point towards the positive?

I surely do.

Michael

A good colleague and friend of mine is also leaving the company I work for. They will be exiting in two days after an 18 year career. It’s really amazing to me to watch someone step completely out of their comfort zone into the unknown.

It takes a lot of courage and faith to do that. I know my friend is dealing with a myriad of emotions; fear, sadness, excitement, anticipation, wonder, anxiety and etc. But through all of these emotions, when asked, they know this is the right thing to do even though all the answers are not readily apparent at this time.

When someone follows their heart, the mind typically rebels. It defies logic and reason, but following the heart is, in my opinion, always the right thing to do. It took me about 40 years to figure that out, but what a ride it has been since.

I will support my friend in any way that I can to make this transition work. In my heart, I know they will be fine.

Michael

Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push - a smile. A word of optimism and hope, a ‘you can do it!’ when things are tough. - Richard De Vos

A friend called today in need of a talk and some kind words. After work, I drove over and sat with them for a couple of hours.

Sometimes all we need to get through a tough time is just someone who will sit with us, listen and give genuine support. I know how much I appreciate this and when it comes down to it, what are friends for? Shouldn’t we be there for those important moments or events giving our support or helping in any way we can?

A simple, sincere smile goes a long way to change someone’s day. I try to do that as much as possible. It’s surprising how most people react. I typically see an instant change and they usually smile back.

The point is that the small efforts we give to one another helps to change the bigger problems we face in our society. It all starts with the individual. No permanent change can happen until the individual makes the shift to acting differently.

Have a great day! Smile to someone you don’t know or give a hand to a person in need.

Michael