Michael

I was finally able to see the latest Harry Potter movie with Erica last night. We thoroughly enjoyed it. As this is the sixth in the series, it would be prudent for anyone to either read the books, watch the previous movies or you will probably be lost.

The richness of the stories and the depth of the characters has been the contributing factors for my love of this series of books and movies. J.K. Rowling’s imagination has fueled the minds of millions of people around the world. Her live is an inspiring rags to riches story.

During a very stressful project several years ago, I read the Harry Potter books. The books allowed me to escape my mundane world of project management for a few hours a week. I’m convinced that without them I would not have been as successful with that project. I found them relaxing and great at relieving stress. They gave my mind a break from the grueling days I was experiencing at the time.

But, really I feel their success has come from the real life characters and the vivid stories. The details in the movies are at times overwhelming. (Note: this isn’t a bad thing.) I have to go back and watch them more than once because there is so much going on.

Thanks to J.K. Rowling for helping to keep my imagination alive and kicking.

Michael

Erica and I went to Foxwoods Casino last night in Connecticut to see Sting live in concert. It was an incredible performance from a consummate entertainer, musician and songwriter. Sting had three other musicians (guitarist, drummer and keyboardist) with him, all fantastic in their own right.

For over two hours, which included two encores, Sting and his band performed all of his greatest songs plus a lot of material from The Police. The crowd was a fanatical group of fans who seemed to know every word of every song. Sting was visibly enjoying the over the top enthusiasm in the theater. It was fun to watch.

I was fascinated by watching the band perform. They didn’t appear to make any mistakes. That was amazing because some of these songs have complex beats and rhythms. Most of Sting’s melodies seem to stay with you for a long time.

Live music is always enjoyable to me whether I’m watching or playing. Watching someone like Sting do “his thing” is the best though. We left the theater feeling like we had received our money’s worth.

I hope I get to see him at least one more time. I can’t seem to get enough.

Michael

It’s very common to get frustrated when we don’t understand something. The hardest thing to do sometimes is to step back and reevaluate the situation. We tend to get sucked into the frustration black hole. Frustration takes the fun out of learning something new. In fact, it can completely halt the learning process.

Learning anything new is like putting together a puzzle. As you put the pieces together, the picture (i.e. knowledge) becomes clearer. Many times we get pieces that don’t seem to fit anywhere. They are too early in the process and it is not clear where they fit.

You have a choice here. You can get either frustrated because you don’t know where the pieces fit or you can stop, take a step back and start in another area. Many times the path to understanding something new may only be one small bit of knowledge; one small puzzle piece. Taking that step back or walking away for a day or two can do wonders in helping you identify where you need to go next.

Bottom line: if you aren’t enjoying what you are doing because you don’t understand a piece of it, stop doing it for a little while. Re-assess your knowledge. Maybe you need to go back a couple of steps and start fresh. Asking a different question may help. Talking to a different person may give you another perspective.

But don’t stay frustrated. The puzzle will never be completed with that attitude.

Michael

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. – Dale Carnegie

Today was a play day. No work. Just plain doing whatever I felt like doing. Days like this are important to one’s sanity and overall happiness. Sometimes we feel guilty doing this, but frankly that’s silly in my mind.

I try to do this on a regular basis. I consider them mini vacations. I don’t wait for fun things to come my way. I go out and find them. Sometimes the fun is a lot closer than you may think.

I got a phone call from a friend that wanted some assistance on picking out a new guitar. That ended up being a nice afternoon. I love looking at guitars, trying them out and hanging out in music stores. Plus it didn’t cost me anything.

Anyway, the point is to have some fun on a regular basis. If you don’t, you’ll generally feel less happy and life will not seem as fulfilling. It’s amazing what a little bit of fun can do to your attitude. Practicing this on a regular basis (every week or so) will do more good than you can imagine at the moment.

Have a great day!

Michael

Life is not about perfection. It’s about having experiences. It’s about finding out what we like and what we don’t like. It’s not about being the best in everything. None of us are meant to be perfect. Sure, they will always be someone that is the best at something. But, that’s just the nature of things. One person is the best at a particular thing and one person is the worst at that thing. The rest of us fall in between.

Wouldn’t it be boring if everyone was perfect? The world would be bland. Our lives would lack contrast and excitement.

I think it’s important to figure out how, by whatever means possible, to relax about things; not take the world and our lives so seriously. All the time we spend fretting about being perfect regarding something, we could be enjoying almost anything else.

I play the guitar and I take photographs. Will I ever be the best at either of them? Probably not. Do I care? Absolutely not. I do them because I love to play music and I love to take photographs. That’s the only reason. Does it feel great when I hit a near perfect note on the guitar or take a fabulous photograph? Most definitely. But even when I don’t sound quite right on the guitar or don’t take great photos on a shoot, I still love doing them.

That’s the only reason we should do anything because we enjoy doing it. All other reasons are a bunch of noise and should not get in the way of having fun and enjoying the things you like.

Chill out!! Enjoy your passions and your desires. Stop worrying about being the best. Go have some fun instead. That’s a order.

Michael

The vow that binds too strictly snaps itself. – Alfred Tennyson

Being flexible is a big part in living a happier life. Flexibility translates to being adaptable to changes in your life. Nothing is really static and when we try to force our lives that way our happiness levels drop. Some people claim they thrive on no change, but in my experience it’s that one has adapted to being in a rut. Humans are so adaptable that we can actually convince ourselves that our lives are good even when we are in a long term situation that is not desirable.

Some people get stuck in doing the same thing, day in and day out. In fact, when they leave their normal home situation, they attempt to keep all of those things the same instead of allowing the new experiences to filter into their lives. Like everyone else, I have certain routines I do every day. But, when I’m not home, I tend to change those routines to settle into the new situation. I try to find ways to adapt so that I can leave myself open for new experiences to come into my life.

I know this may sound trite and cliché but change is the only constant, the only thing we can count on. Happier lives tend to be continually moving, changing and experiencing not static or stationary.

So, when you feel like your life or your routine is bumping up against change, stop for a moment and take a breath. You may be at the doorway of a new experience or maybe you might be on the verge of finding something else that you enjoy. Give yourself the opportunity and let change take you to a different place.

If you don’t like it, you can change and go off in another direction.

Michael

What the world has to eradicate is fear and ignorance. – Jan Masaryk

Fear and ignorance are at the heart of many personal problems as well as society’s problems. I’ve found that traveling to different and unusual places has greatly helped to reduce fear and diminish ignorance.

Meeting new people of new cultures or even a neighboring region or state can go a long way in increasing our awareness of different perspectives, thoughts and beliefs. It’s important to keep an open mind; i.e. no judging allowed. Judgment tends to keep one in ignorance. This exercise is not to change your beliefs but to increase your understanding.

I’ve been very fortunate to have traveled to several countries both in Europe and the Far East. I’m always surprised but never bored by the people I meet. I find their beliefs fascinating and really enjoy getting into the nitty gritty of their thought processes.

I think I’m a better person for traveling as much as I do. As my knowledge and experience increases with different cultures, my fear becomes less. But, frankly, you don’t have to go to another country. Another part of your own country would work also. For example, the U.S. has many distinct regions with a variety of differing beliefs. You might not have to go that far. A guiding factor is to go somewhere that is a little bit out of your comfort zone. That will bring many more positive changes.

We all have a responsibility in decreasing fear and eliminating ignorance. You could help by simply traveling to a new place.

Have a great day!

Michael

The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. – Nathaniel Braden

We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation. – Jim Rohn

I think one of the most difficult concepts for people to comprehend is that before you can change, you must accept where you are first. Many people think that the acceptance of something they do not want means that the unwanted thing stays. But, actually, the opposite is the truth.

When we choose not to accept something we don’t like about ourselves, it actually focuses our minds more on the very thing we don’t like. We fret about. We worry about it. We judge ourselves. We feel self conscious. We feel guilty and etc. All of this negative attention prevents us from making the change we so desperately want.

That’s where acceptance comes in. To start the process of change, you must accept where you are or accept the very thing you want to change. For example, use words like “I have this thing I don’t like, but it’s not permanent. It doesn’t define who I really am. It’s helped me understand what I truly desire. It has made me stronger. Etc.”

It’s important that when you are trying to accept something you don’t like about yourself that you use words that are believable. If you don’t, then the acceptance you are looking for will not come or will be much harder.

Once you accept, change becomes easier. Your mind is then freed from the confines of dislike and non-acceptance which allows your creativity and drive to help you change.

Remember, be easy on yourself.

Michael

Self-help is the best help. – Polish Proverb

Self-help is definitely the best. You are your own expert. You know better than others what your exact desires and needs are to help you feel better. You know what you don’t want. You know exactly what you do want.

Do you make mistakes sometimes? The surprising answer is NO. There are no mistakes; only opportunities to adjust your direction. Everything you do and everything you think is a mistake is really just information you need to make a course change. It’s one of the ways you help yourself.

We all have a tendency to look outside ourselves for help or assistance as we deal with the things life throws our way. But all us, bar none, have the all the answers we need. We just need to look inside. I don’t think we have been taught or trained to look for all our answers internally. We all intuitively know it and feel it most clearly when we are pushed in a direction we don’t want to go. There are more subtle incidences which are more difficult to detect; like a passive aggressive comment from a friend or spouse, a seemingly innocuous statement that makes us feel guilt or a more overt opinion thrown in our face. The bottom line is that we know when the ideas from others are not helpful. We feel it deeply regardless of whether we admit it or not.

Helping yourself gives you the control over your own life. No one else is to blame. Maybe some people wouldn’t like that, but I love it.

Give yourself a hand and stop relying on others.

Michael

I’m reading a book (more on it later) that talked about how listening is an act of optimism. I never really thought of it that way before. But, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

When I think about not listening to someone, it’s a very negative or pessimistic experience for both parties. Typically when we aren’t listening to someone it’s usually because we don’t want to hear what they are saying or it could simply be from a place of boredom. Think about when someone doesn’t listen to you, it doesn’t feel good. Whatever the reason is irrelevant. No one likes to be ignored.

On the contrary, when we take the time to listen to what someone says by giving attention to them, we create a very positive experience. Regardless of whether you agree with what someone says, everyone feels good when they feel they’ve been heard. In fact, active listening doesn’t require agreement at all. It only requires a conscious effort to deeply hear what another is trying to convey.

The optimism comes first from the person being listened to. They feel more empowered. They feel like their voice is being heard. They feel like they matter. This generates an optimistic perspective which leaks into all areas of their life. Secondly, the listener gains optimism just from witnessing the power that true listening can give.

Next time you have the option of listening to someone, think about the optimism that can be generated from this selfless act.

Have a great day!

Michael