Michael

Success often comes from not knowing your limitations. – Frank Tyger

Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. – Author unknown

Success. For many it’s an elusive beast, always just out of reach, while others seem to exude success from every pore of their being.

Each of us defines success in different ways as our desires, passions and needs widely differ. Ultimately, to be successful, you have to view yourself as a limitless being. When we focus on what we don’t know, what we can’t currently do or what is lacking in our lives, success will always be stuck in the future. Many people throughout history have overcome huge limitations to ultimately be successful. Use their example as inspiration to get through tough and challenging times while on your way to the success you deserve.

“Never giving up” is a common thread that runs through successful people. Many have had failure after failure but the difference is that they tried just one more time. Make “just one more time” a mantra on your journey. When thinking about this, do it from a place of excitement, hope and passion. Look at failures or mistakes as fantastic opportunities for refining your plan or adjusting your approach.

Don’t give up. Life will support you if you let it.

Have a great day!

Michael

My Guide

I have debated with myself about telling the following story. Part of me won the debate, so here goes.

On day three of my Mexico trip (October 23rd, 2008) I, along with several others in our travel group, decided to take a two hour horseback ride to the valley’s edge outside of Cerocahui. We wanted to see the waterfalls and pools among the rocks. It sounded like fun so I signed up.

I made it a point to tell the head of the tour that I was not an experienced rider, so please give me a gentle horse that obeyed. A few minutes later, a young boy walked up with a grayish horse (see the photo on the left). He was going to be my guide. So, he helped me up into the saddle which turned out to be made of wood with a very thin blanket thrown over. Translation: I had to be careful how I sat (if you catch what I’m saying) so I wouldn’t damage myself.

The next thing I know was that our party of horses started walking down the road to the outskirts of town. Guess what? I was not in control of my horse. My “guide” was leading the horse I was on. He was obviously walking and I was sitting on the horse. He walked me and my horse all the way to the waterfall and all the way back.

As we walked through the small village, everyone saw us and most of the kids laughed and snickered when seeing me being “guided.” It was quite embarrassing.    Next time, I should verify that my translation was understood the way I meant it.

The trip was still fun even though I didn’t have control of my horse.

Michael

The difference between holding on to a hurt or releasing it with forgiveness is the difference between laying your head at night on a pillow filled with thorns or a pillow filled with rose petals. – Loren Fischer

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills. – Catherine Ponder

One of the most powerful single acts we can do is forgive. Most people find it easier to forgive others than forgive themselves. Self blame can be found at the core of many emotional issues.

Learning to forgive yourself is a giant leap on the road to happiness. Each time you forgive yourself for something you’ve done, didn’t do, said or any other action where you judge yourself, you remove a layer that is blocking you from being more whole or complete.

Work on forgiving the little things you feel guilty about and not the big ones that happen only every so often. These little “guilts” pile up over your lifetime and become a heavy emotional burden. Though this may seem strange to some, I would suggest consciously forgiving yourself by looking in the mirror and saying out loud what you are forgiving. Be specific. Look into your eyes. This is a powerful exercise and could potentially change your life.

Think what you have guilty feelings about and start (today) forgiving yourself.

Have a great day!

Michael

It’s not what happens to you in life that counts; it’s how you take it, and what you make of it. – Denis Waitley

Beautifully stated! I have lived this philosophy for the last 10 years or so. I’ve believed for quite some time that your attitude is the only thing you really have control over in your life. When you react to the world around you, the world controls you. When you control your attitude, the world reacts to you.

I believe by maintaining a healthy, upbeat attitude, the rest of your life will fall into place. At the very least, things that happen won’t bother you as much. Your level of happiness is solely dependent on you and you alone. What a sense of freedom that will bring!

It’s not easy sometimes as we all have our quirks, eccentricities and “buttons” that get pushed causing us to react negatively. If you can just step back, take a few breaths and look at the situation objectively detached, you will be able to adjust your attitude quickly. My biggest pet peeve is bad drivers. I have to really focus on making sure that they are not my excuse for being in a bad mood.

Just like anything else, it takes conscious practice. Over time you’ll get better and notice that while life is zipping by, you will be like the center of the storm; quiet, peaceful and content while the world swirls around you.

Have a great day!

Michael

Make education a continuing, never-ending process. – Nido Qubein

I have an intense curiosity about the world, how things work and the meaning of everything. I am constantly and consistently striving to learn something new every day. I’m fascinated by many subjects and never seem to have a lack of something new to learn.

I think it’s important to learn something new on a regular basis. It keeps the mind fresh, puts new life into your curiosity, jumpstarts your creativity, enhances your logical thinking and gives you an appreciation for the diversity of our world.

You don’t have to be quite as obsessive (maybe that’s too strong a word) as me, but striving to learn new things on a regular basis; daily, weekly or monthly will go a long way towards promoting mental health which helps in sustaining your overall happiness level.

Nowadays there are a host of resources available at our disposal; regular schools, online resources, public libraries, continuing education, craft/music/art classes, social groups, clubs and etc. If you don’t know where to start, just pick something that sounds remotely interesting and try it out. If you don’t like it, drop that idea and try something else. You can’t make a mistake here. It’s all about trying something new, learning a new skill, fact, craft and etc. Have some fun while you are experimenting.

You may find that you will generate an interest that you didn’t know you had until you tried it.

Enjoy.

Michael

Take some time and really listen to your own inner wisdom. – From a fortune cookie

Our inner wisdom is more powerful than we may realize. It contains a wealth of specific knowledge tailored for our own lives. Most of us try to find our answers with outside or external methods, but those only go so far. There always seems to be something lacking. Additionally, looking for answers in the external cultivates a feeling of “I don’t have control over my own life.”

All of us hold the answers to our most pressing questions. We always have access to that information, but we either don’t listen or don’t know how to get in touch with our inner wisdom.

Here are some techniques that may help you get in touch with your own inner wisdom:

1. Learn to quiet the mind through regular meditation or other similar techniques.
2. Take solitary walks. Many times you will get in touch with yourself more when walking in nature.
3. Ask yourself out loud the question you need answering and then go do something else. Sometimes this frees up the mind to work on the problem, somewhat like a computer program running in the background.
4. Ask yourself the question out loud. The first answer you hear in your head is usually your inner self.
5. Learn to recognize your inner wisdom voice. It’s typically the quiet unobtrusive voice barely heard over all the mental rabble going on in your head. It can also come out in strong urges or feelings, ideas that pop into your head and etc.
6. Cultivate a belief that you have the answers to all your questions or problems. This in turn will generate self-trust which will allow you to hear your inner wisdom.

Getting in touch with you own inner wisdom will give you a sense of self-control over your life, open a world of creative solutions to your problems, give you access to wisdom that is designed just for you and in the end, help you to have a happier, more fulfilling life.

Have a great day!

Michael

Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness. – Reinhold Niebuhr

I was in a deeply introspective mood today. So, I went looking for inspiration and found this wonderful piece by Reinhold Neibuhr.

It helped. Hope it helps you.

Michael

Nat and I are developing short brochures with exercises to help in your pursuit of happiness. You can download a PDF version of the blog text below.

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Nearly all of us can list activities that make us happy. It might be listening to favorite songs, or playing with the dog, or cooking Mexican food. Some of these are easy to do. You can do them any time or any place. They don’t cost a lot of money.

Create a list of these activities and carry it with you. Then, if you start to feel sad or anxious, you can pull out your list and do one of the things that makes you feel good.

EXERCISE:

1. Write down 10 activities that make you happy (jogging in the park, picking flowers, eating a sandwich from your favorite deli, calling your best friend)
2. Add 10 more activities to your list
3. Rate each item from 1-10, where 10 means that every time you do this you feel great and 1 means this activity makes you feel good some of the time but not always
4. Cross out every activity that you rate lower than 8
5. Copy all items with a score of 8 or greater to a new list
6. Put this list in a place that you nearly always have with you (your wallet or purse, your car)
7. Take it out and look at it before you leave the house in the morning
8. Plan when you are going to do the next one on your list
9. Do one each day
10. [EXTRA CREDIT] Write out for each activity everything you enjoy about doing it (It is very important to know why something makes you happy)

Happiness is a habit. Your written inventory of activities that make you feel good makes it easy for you to cultivate the habit.

Michael

Nat and I are developing short brochures with exercises to help in your pursuit of happiness. You can download a PDF version of the blog text below.

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Fears are limiting beliefs. They can curb our creativity, stifle our happiness and prevent us from being all we want to be. Fears take away our power, but often we have the power to see through them. Many fears are based only in a remembered past or in an imagined future, not in a present danger.

Seeing these types of fears for what they are is one way to overcome them.

Exercise

1. Make a list of your fears and rate each on a scale of 1 – 10; ten being the most fearful and one being the least.
2. Pick one fear from the list that has an average in rating (say 4-6 out of 10) It should not be so terrifying that it completely immobilizes you all the time and not be so small that it doesn’t really matter.
3. Write down answers to the following questions. Your answers will help you see the fear for what it is.
   1. What feelings are associated with this fear?
   2. What other symptoms does it include (cold sweat, nausea, self-doubt)?
   3. Do you have any life experiences that may have contributed to this fear?
   4. Do you think this fear is a symptom of a deeper underlying fear?
   5. What circumstances or life events exacerbate this fear?
   6. What is this fear preventing you from doing?
   7. What would you do differently if you didn’t have this fear?
4. Study your answers for proof that the fear is less overwhelming than you think when you are consumed by it. Does anything about it seem ridiculous? Have you outgrown it? You are studying its weakness. Don’t hesitate to get professional help if overcoming any particular fear seems overwhelming. The work you do here will be an excellent foundation.
5. Repeat this process for each of your fears when you have a handle on the first fear.

The first step in overcoming your fear is to see it for what it is.  By facing fear and unmasking it, you can weaken its hold on you.

Michael

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. – Epictetus

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said. – Peter F. Drucker

Listening. For many, it’s a lost art. But, it’s definitely worth starting to do more. Listening is a fantastic gift to a friend, a partner, children and frankly to just about anyone.

Many times the sole act of listening will give someone the exact support they need. As a listener, your main goal is three fold:

• Tune down or your thinking.
• Stop trying to figure out solutions to their problems.
• Hear whatever the person is saying; especially between their words.

When people realize that they are being listened to, they become relaxed, more in touch with their true feelings and allow themselves to release whatever they need to get out.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you should sit there and not utter a word. Of course you can talk, but in a more supportive role, helping the other person to express what they need to express, encouraging them to get to the detail that is needed.

Remember, the person in need of a listener is not looking for solutions to their problems unless they specifically ask. Instead of giving an answer to that question why don’t you ask them how they would answer if someone had asked them? I believe that the everyone has their own answers. You can help them to find it. Their own solution/answer will be much better in the long run.

Make listening one of your many tools to help others.

Michael