Michael

Whether you are a success or failure in life has little to do with your circumstances; it has much more to do with your choices! – Nido Qubein

It’s very easy to blame our circumstance for our “lot” in life. It’s much harder to take full responsibility because wherever we are, we ultimately have the choice to change at any given moment. Many will argue with this and give dozens of examples of how circumstance has “prevented” someone from being who they want to be.

On the flip side, history is filled with examples of individuals who have overcome enormous challenges and circumstance to become whatever they desire. Many have overcome extreme financial difficulties, prejudice, social/culture restrictions and bad parents. Only one example of an individual choosing something outside their circumstance and then succeeding would be enough to show us that it is possible. But we have hundreds, thousands and more examples of this happening.

We have no excuse to continue to blame our circumstance. You have the choice. You can choose to change now, later or not it all. It’s your choice.

Michael

A photographer gets people to pose for him. A yoga instructor gets people to pose for themselves. – T. Guillemets

I went to a yoga class tonight. I was very resistant to go. My mind was working overtime trying to find the perfect excuse for me not to go. Here are some of the excuses. Most of them are quite lame.

1. The class is at 7:15. When I’m a going to eat dinner?
2. It’s too late. I’ll be tired.
3. Do I really need to take yoga?
4. Is it really going to help me feel better physically?
5. I’m not that flexible.
6. The class is located in an area that is hard to find parking.
7. I should do some other exercises first before starting something like this.
8. I’ve lost the directions. (This qualifies for the lamest excuse of the bunch.)
9. Do I really want to commit to a weekly class with everything I have going on right now?
10. Is a one hour a week class really going to do that much for me?

As you can see, the excuses were not that creative. I’ve also realized over the years that if you are that resistant to doing something, then you must do it. Something is going on or you wouldn’t be so insanely resistant. This type of resistance usually happens when you are about to break through old habits and paradigms. It’s also common when you are approaching a new understanding about yourself.

There is always a part of you (your ego) that does not want you to be knowledgeable. Your ego knows that knowledge is power and more importantly knowledge about yourself is freedom. Freedom from fears. Freedom from repressing your true desire. Freedom to create the life that you really want.

So, next time you are feeling resistant about doing something, make it a point to go and do it. Get a friend to push you there if you need, but go and do the thing that you don’t want to do. You’ll grow by leaps and bounds.

Have a great day!

Michael

It’s probably not what you would think. The 2003 BBC article is actually based on an October 2003 article in the magazine New Scientist. There is a higher percentage of happy people in Nigeria than any other country in the world. Russia and Armenia ranked the lowest. The happiness survey was actually conducted from 1999 – 2001. 

Of course, what constitutes happiness is different for differrent cultures. For example, people in the U.S. seemed to focus on personal success while people in Japan are more focused on family and society.

Some ideas to help you be happier according to the survey¹:

1. Make friends and value them
2. Marriage
3. Desire less
4. Do someone a good turn
5. Have faith (religious or not)
6. Stop comparing your looks with others
7. Genetic propensity to happiness
8. Earn more money
9. Grow old gracefully
10. Don’t worry if you are not a genius

The survey appeared to confirm that money cannot buy happiness. The researchers also found that “the desire for material goods is a happiness suppressant.” That is very interesting to me. I think about all the people who shop to feel better.

Very intriguing article.

Michael

¹ Nigeria Tops Happiness Survey – BBC, October 2^nd, 2003 

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically — to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside. The enemy of the ‘best’ is often the ‘good. – Stephen Covey

I think learning to say no to something that is not my priority has been one of the bigger lessons in my life. I was one of those people who said nothing; not even no. As I’ve grown older I’ve learned that living a happier life means not compromising.

I specifically mean not compromising with myself. Self compromise generates bad feelings, mediocrity, low self-esteem and a feeling of heaviness that prevents true happiness.

I believe that my highest priority is following my heart’s desire, whatever that may be. I’ve followed other priorities before and I can’t say that they were any good. They almost always led to self compromise. This is a newer path for me and I’m finding it a little difficult because you have to let go and allow your faith to lead the way. I’m used to being completely in charge. Hence my challenge.

Little by little, day by day, I’m learning a new way of living. There is more freedom this way than other paths I’ve tried, which I didn’t expect for some reason.

Here’s to life and saying yes to yourself.

Michael

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only way to have a friend is to be one. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am quite fortunate to have several very good friends. True friends are like gold. A few of them make you rich. I also believe they are a reflection of yourself. The quality of your friends equals the quality of the life you live.

Some close. Some quite far. With these friends, though, it never seems to feel like there is a gap between when we talk or get together. In a matter of minutes, we are back “in sync” like we had never been apart. I think that is a testament to the relationship.

Many times my friends and I seem to deal with similar issues around the same time. It’s like we are all in the same classroom. That’s a big help especially when it comes to homework.

I’m very appreciative of my friends and look forward to many more years of having fun and exploring the world.

Have a great day!

Michael

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. – Carl Jung

So often, many of us see ourselves from the perspective of what has happened to us. I was an abused child. I had difficulties in school. My parents were terrible to me. I come from a poor background. I didn’t graduate from high school. Etc. Etc. Etc.

At all times we have a choice. Sometimes that choice is buried under a lot of “negative stuff”, but it’s there. As we clear away the scum of our less than positive belief systems and thoughts, we get glimpses of a more hopeful life. As we get those glimpses, it becomes easier to clean away the grim of our past.

It’s important to start somewhere. It really doesn’t matter where. Just start focusing on something positive, however small. These tiny acts of self-love will began the process of cleaning out what is no longer needed in your life. What’s important to remember is that you don’t need to focus on cleaning but only on what is already clean; i.e. focus and direct your attention on the positive aspects.

You’ll find in a short time that your realm of choices will increase and potentials start to transform into possibilities.

Have a great day!

Michael

Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. – Harvey Mackay

The most important question to ask on the job is not ‘What am I getting?’ The most important question to ask on the job is ‘What am I becoming?’ – Jim Rohn

As I get closer and closer to the end of my current career chapter, I find some days are up and others are down. It’s the contrast between two internal voices. One is very positive, believes that I have no limitations and views the future as bright. The other is fearful and doesn’t understand how I will survive.

That’s quite a contrast. So, I’m practicing detachment from the myriad of feelings that are going on inside. It helps but I’m finding that I must be diligent and conscious about what is going on. Anytime we go through change or transformational times in our lives, it’s vital that we stay conscious. If we slip into repressing our feelings, it can cause much anxiety, stress and a negative outlook on life.

Tonight I examined my feelings of fear and the negative talk that is occurring in one part of mind. All I did was watch. I had no judgment. I did not fight with my feelings (see my post on May 15th, What you Resist, Persists ). A strange thing happened. My inner negative talk grew softer and quieter. Hmmmm. I might be on to something here.

Life is grand.

Have a great day!

Michael

Whatever you fight you strengthen. What you resist, persists. – Eckhart Tolle

All of us have the tendency to fight to make changes. We feel that we must struggle to overcome what life throws our way. If we aren’t pushing against something, we don’t feel like we are making any progress.

Eckhart Tolle suggests that all of our pushing, struggling, fighting, resisting, and “going to war over” is perpetuating the very things that we would like to change. For many of us, this is a radical concept. For others it may be the best alternative idea to come along in sometime.

I’m sure that you can think of examples of how this is true. Have you ever “battled” with a toddler who is determined to go in a particular direction, i.e. not the one you want? Have you seen how arguments can easily escalate out of control? Do you really believe the “war on drugs” or the “fight against obesity” is working?

I know that in my personal life, what I’ve resisted has very literally persisted. The more I have tried to stop my negative behaviors, the more they seemed to grow. I had to learn how to focus on the positive behavior I wanted. Only then did I make headway into the change I was looking for.

What we must do is take a different approach. We need to utilize other tools to make positive change in the world. For example; focusing our attention on the positive attributes, learning to listen, celebrating our similarities, or directing our attention to what we want instead of what we don’t like. If we don’t like something or someone, we must practice other techniques instead of fighting or forcing our opinions and behaviors on others.

I believe Eckhart and others like him are on to something very important. It’s time for a different way of being, acting and behaving. We can affect the world simply by working on ourselves. Our personal example of living a better life will influence others to do the same. Slowly but surely, so many people will be living this way, that true global change will take place.

Michael

Worry pretends to be necessary, but serves no useful purpose. – Eckhart Tolle

Worry seems to an obsession of many people. It keeps us away from the present moment. Your mind stays constantly engaged while worrying. The needs of the ego are satisfied, but it keeps you away from being focused in the present moment.

Eckhart Tolle states that worry serves no useful purpose. It is not useful for positive change. The only thing worry seems to do is produce anxiety and nervousness in the individuals practicing worrying. Worry focuses our mind and attention negatively into the future. We have no power in the future. All of our power is now. All change takes place now. True living happens now.

Several things can be useful to help overcoming incessant worrying:

1. Meditation helps to focus your mind in the present moment where worry does not reside.
2. When you notice your mind turning to worry, try to gently turn your attention back to what is happening around you. Again this helps to focus your attention in the present.
3. Learn and practice acceptance. This is especially helpful when practiced while performing the technique in number 2 above. As you accept what is happening around you, it frees yourself from negative thinking.

I’m sure you noticed that I gave no direction to "try and stop worrying" or "don’t think negative thoughts". Both of these techniques do not work. Pushing against something keeps it alive. More on that topic tomorrow.

Have a great day.

Michael

My last day in Barcelona was a bright, sunny day with clouds that rose over the mountains. I’ve really grown quite an attachment to this city, the food and it’s people. I think I’ve gained 2 or 3 pounds with all the home cooking I was able to experience.

I learned a lot from my few days here. As I got to know the people on a more personal level in their homes and among friends, I realized that there were five fundamental lessons that were being taught.

First, I (we) need to slow down and focus on the present moment more. I’ve talked about this concept before, but it was refreshing and inspiring to see people living that way every minute.

Second, the importance of communication and how much we can communicate without speaking the language. Babi’s grandmother was the best at this. I couldn’t understand one spoken word from her, but I never had a problem understanding what she was telling me. Now that’s a gift.

Third, to be more open. Many of the people I met took a genuine interest in learning more about me despite the language barrier.

Fourth, laugh a lot and often. Though I feel that I do this very often, it’s always refreshing to see people live that philosophy.

Fifth, give and then give some more. Guests (me) are treated like royalty. It’s a great way to treat people.

I appreciate my new friends and I hope to see them very soon in the near future. I will be back to this place. It’s easily in my top five favorite places now.

Michael