Michael

It is fatal to know too much at the outcome: boredom comes as quickly to the traveler who knows his route as to the novelist who is over certain of his plot. – Paul Theroux, To the Ends of the Earth

I used to be a big planner. I liked to know exactly what I was going to do and the timeframes. I found comfort in having a schedule. I didn’t like the unknown. It made me nervous and anxious.

What I found in this detailed predictability was that I rarely had adventure or excitement in my life. Over time this translated to a sense of boredom. I lost my childlike curiosity of the world.

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the perspective) I had to step out of my comfort zone to make a shift in my behavior. Here are some things I did to make the jump to adventure:

1. I had someone else make the plans for a trip or the day’s activities. Therefore, I still satisfied my need for plans, but I also satisfied my need for adventure and curiosity as I didn’t know the plan details.
2. I made general plans for a specific timeframe. So, I kept the need for some control over the time, but became more relaxed on exactly what we were going to do.
3. Finally, I made general plans with no specific timeframes. This was graduation for me.

Ultimately, I was able to compromise with myself. I have a need for plans but my heart desired adventure and play again. So, following step 3 now, I satisfy both. I have to say that after getting over the initial anxiety, I now have a lot more fun.

Have a great day!

Michael

Wow! It was an incredibly hectic day. The entire week has flown by at what seemed like light speed. Today started off okay, but quickly turned stressful. I was trying to accomplish numerous tasks before leaving on vacation. You know how that can be.

Instead of feeling better as I completed the many items I was working on, I felt worse. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Everything was putting me even more on edge. By the time I left the office, I was climbing the walls.

Well, it took me a little while at home relaxing before I realized what was causing such distress. The final item I was trying to complete today was something I absolutely did not want to do. I thought it was a waste of time and energy, but I was being forced to do it.

My stress was being caused by hating what I was doing. What an eye opener. I normally catch this kind of feeling before it gets out of control, but not today or least not until after the fact. I think the lesson is twofold:

1. If stress arrives quickly and continues to escalate, stop and reflect on what is going on internally.
2. If the stress is being caused by doing something you can’t stand, then either stop doing it, change what is going on or do it first to get it out of the way.

Lesson learned. I’ll work on being a tad more conscious next time.

Have a great day!

Michael

Erica and went to see Van Morrison tonight at the Providence Performing Arts Center (PPAC) in Rhode Island. I’ve always wanted to see him and it was worth the wait. Mr. Morrison and his band were extraordinary. They played almost two hours with no breaks at all. It’s was solid Van Morrison minute to minute. PPAC is a small theater with excellent acoustics. We had a great view from the edge of the first balcony. The seats were perfect.

Van Morrison is a versatile musician, comfortable and expert whether playing the saxophone, harmonica, guitar or keyboards. His voice has been heard for over 40 years and is as unique as his music.

Van Morrison started off a little tentative, but he realized very soon how enthusiastic this crowd was going to be. His performance and intensity increased with each song. It was really fun to see the passion fly off the stage note for note. I think my favorite song was their extended rendition of Moondance.

When it was over, I left wanting more (selfish I know) but was incredibly happy to see and hear everything in the performance tonight.

Michael

At many times in our lives we go through traumas, major crisis situations or just plain rough moments. Sometimes if the situation is exceptionally challenging, with a large dose of negative emotions, we tend to hold on to the bad feelings. We may not even know we have repressed those feelings, but they lurk under the surface and can subtly affect how we act and interact with the world around us.

Unfortunately, we may not even know this is happening. We may feel that the event or situation has passed and we came out the other side feeling good. But, if not faced directly and consciously, these small and unconscious memories sit in our mind hidden and active.

Today, I realized that I had been holding a negative memory from my high school years. High school was not a pleasant time for me. In fact, it was probably one of the worst periods in my entire life. My self-confidence and self esteem were at their lowest points. I never felt like I really fit in. Each day was a struggle. Graduating was one of the best moments as I felt like I had been freed from a prison.

So, those are my memories. But, they are not who I am at this time. I’m not the person I was back then. I believed that I had worked through all of those issues many years ago. So, I was quite surprised when these feelings of hurt, struggle and pain resurfaced today. They only lasted a few minutes, but I just sat through them, breathed deeply and observed from a different perspective.

It’s really good when repressed feelings like this surface. This gives you an opportunity to examine them and let them go. Holding on to these old memories and events takes energy that you may not know you are using. Once the emotion has been let go, you get the energy back. That’s one of the reasons why people feel better after a good cry.

If this happens to you, just let the process happen, breathe deeply, allow the emotion to move through you and then let it go. Don’t try to repress it again. You don’t need it anymore.

Have a great day!

Michael

Erica and I have been going out for six months as of today. It’s really nice to be dating someone where everything is so relaxed.

No drama. No craziness. No games.

Just respect, fun plus a mutual desire to explore and experience the world. We’ve done more over six months than I have with others over a period of years.

We celebrated tonight at a wonderful restaurant in Providence called Cafe Nuovo. Good food. Excellent companionship.

Thanks Erica for just being who you are.

Michael

It started about 3:00 a.m. this morning with sleet pounding the windows and roof. This was only two days after a huge snowstorm hit the northeast. Snow and sleet fell until late morning and then it rained for a few more hours. Being outside was like walking around in one of those slushy drinks you can buy at convenience stores.

It was one of those days to just hunker down and stay inside. Erica and I had quite a lazy morning. It was very refreshing to not have anything to do. So, we just chatted, watched a movie, listened to music and watch the storm from the comfort of a cozy house.

I didn’t grow up with regular snowfall. I think it only snowed 3 times in my life while in the South until I moved to California. I’m still fascinated by snow, snowstorms, freezing weather and just about anything to do with the winter. I feel like a kid again. Multiple times during the day I would look out the window to watch what was swirling around the house. It made me smile.

I’ll tell a little secret. I actually can’t wait to go out in the snow and use the shovel to clear a path . I also love to brush the snow and ice off the car. The shoveling can be hard work, but I really enjoy it. I just like being out in the snow drifts. I know this may sound silly to people that have lived here all their lives and dealt with effects of this kind of storm. But for me, it’s still unique, fascinating and fun.

I suspect this feeling will last for quite some time.

Have a great day!

Michael

Human beings have the capacity to learn to want almost any conceivable material object. Given, then, the emergence of a modern industrial culture capable of producing almost anything, the time is ripe for opening the store-house of infinite need!…It is the modern Pandora’s box, and its plagues are loose upon the world. – Jules Henry

To be free, to be happy, and fruitful, can only be attained through sacrifice of many common or overestimated things. – Robert Henri

If you’re like me, you may tend to keep things longer than necessary, whether it is information, magazines, trinkets, clothes and etc. Most people do some kind of “spring cleaning” at least once per year. Every now and then I will spend a lengthy amount of time and take inventory of everything I have. But, I’ve found that this has not been enough to really clean out the clutter that I’ve collected over the months and years.

An amazing thing happens when you take the “things” you haven’t used in a while and give them away, throw into the trash, put in a garage sale or auction on eBay. As you systemically take inventory of your material belongings and clear out the clutter in your house or apartment, your mind makes a shift.

It literally opens you up and immediately you get a sense of freedom and expansion. This is so important to maintaining your mental stability and expanding your creativity, I recommend performing this exercise once every three months.

Really take stock of all your belongings. What clothes have you not worn in 6 or 12 months? Are you saving magazines? Do you every go back and read them? How about cutting out the most interesting articles and put the rest in recycle?

What items in your closet have not seen the light of day for 6 months? Do you really still need them? Have you looked into your kitchen pantry, refrigerator or cabinets? You will find an amazing amount of clutter in these areas.

How about that garage? What are you storing there? Have you used it recently? Do you still need it? Wouldn’t it be nice to park your car in the garage? Do you have old books you can sell or give away?

What about emails? This is one of my challenges. I’m an information collector. I find it very hard to delete little used emails or computer files. But, go through the exercise anyway.

Follow these simple steps:

1. Take inventory.
2. Ask the questions: “Do I still need this item?” and ”Have I used it in the last 6 months?”
3. Throw the item away, sell it, or give it to someone else that really needs it.
4. Repeat every 3 months.

You will simply be amazed at what happens to your mind after this exercise. You’ll feel more open, have an increased sense of freedom, your creativity may increase and your energy level will be more stable.

Have a great day!

Michael

There is more to life than increasing its speed. – Mohandas Ghandi

Are you one of those people who are constantly rushing to the next item on your to-do list? Do you rush to the grocery store? Do you continuously flip fast the through television channels? Do you always drive fast to get to your next errand or destination?

Do you consistently feel the pressure to get things done because you have the feeling that you don’t have enough time? Do you eat your dinner, lunch or breakfast in 5 minutes? Is it hard to sit still long enough to read a book? Do you take the time to prepare a quality meal? When you have to wait for someone, do you typically lose patience?

Slow down. I mean really slow down. Take a breath.

As you fly through the world at break neck speeds you miss the most important things. You focus on the destination and not the journey. Your life becomes one blurry moment between beginnings and endings.

Here are some ideas to help you slow down. The possibilities are infinite. Use your imagination.

• Stop and watch a sunset.
• Watch your child play. Even better get down and play with them.
• Eat slower. Try to taste all the ingredients of your meal.
• Take the time to dance a little while listening to your favorite music.
• Don’t multitask. Stay focused on the one thing you are doing without adding other things.
• Greatly reduce how much television you watch.
• Read more.
• Take a walk.
• Watch a flock of geese.
• Do something that you are passionate about every day.
• Take a drive through the countryside. If you see something that interests you, stop and investigate.
• Learn something new once per week.
• Meditate.
• Reduce your caffeine intake.
• Reduce or eliminate your sugar intake.
• Have dinner with friends.
• Take a day off from work for no reason and then fill the time with something/anything that you wouldn’t typically do.
• Prepare and cook a complicated meal.
• Go to the beach.
• Go hiking in a place you have never been.
• If you are completely work centric, develop the part of you that has nothing to do with work.
• Spend more time with your loved one, family or children.
• Listen more. Speak less.
• Sit comfortably in a chair. Close your eyes. Listen and focus on every sound you hear for 10 or 15 minutes. The idea here is to hear as many sounds as possible. I call this exercise sensory development. It helps you connect with the world around you. This exercise can work with the visual and olfactory senses also.
• Write in a journal daily.
• Practice yoga.

Have a great day!

Michael

Yesterday, after a long day at work, I was able to spend a couple of hours in the evening with some London friends; Rebekah, Babi, Carlos and Anthony. Rebekah prepared a lovely home cooked meal. There is always something special about sharing a meal with friends.

If you’ve been reading over the last several days, I’ve been writing a lot about the simple pleasures in life. Eating a meal with friends easily makes this list.

It’s all about slowing down. It’s all about eating consciously, in other words, less with the intent of finishing the meal but instead with extracting as much enjoyment out of each moment as you can. It’s all about lively and deep conversation during the meal which seems to enhance the experience and the bond between all parties.

Of course having a dessert prepared from scratch with a hot drink is an excellent way to finish off the evening. I left them, not sad, but glad I have them as friends, able to enjoy moments like these and the feeling that we never seem to have been apart at all.

Thanks guys for a wonderful time!

Michael

It was really cold this morning in London; below freezing for sure. Frost was everywhere. I had to wait about 10 minutes for my train while standing outside. It was so cold that every breath condensed into “smoke.”

As a child I use to love this phenomenon. I could blow smoke with my breath for hours. It gave me great joy and produced a lot of laughter.

Well, I have to admit that I still love doing this as much as I did as a kid. I know that some “adults” would deem this as silly or childish or possibly not proper. But, I really don’t care. It makes me smile and I fundamentally believe you should continue to do things that make you smile. If something puts you in a good mood and doesn’t harm anyone else, then do it.

It’s really all about simple pleasures, enjoying the little things in life, being in the moment while relaxed and happy. I’m not about to lose the feeling of fun I get from blowing smoke with my breath when it’s cold. I believe it is a symptom of my overall happiness and sense of freedom.

Have a great day!

Michael