Michael

When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life. – Albert F. Geoffrey

I stopped asking permission to live my life the way I wanted several years ago. Before, not only did I ask for permission or approval but I actually had to have it. I wasn’t able to function effectively without the external validation. My version of functioning effectively in the past was a small subset of what I know now.

I’m here to live my life not another person’s opinion of what my life should be. This was one of the biggest lessons of my lifetime. I fought overcoming this one for a long time. As I built up my confidence, my self esteem, my experience in living and learned what it was I truly liked and disliked, I began truly living for the first time.

I had to overcome the fear of being who I really was at any moment of time. I didn’t like the feeling of being judged. What I found out was that I was judging myself harder than anyone else. Sometimes, even now, the old fears rear their head because I had habitually followed them for so long. I gently turn my direction back to my new “reality” and slowly they fade away.

Advice for the day: Always be who you are whatever that might be. Don’t hold back. Be true to yourself. Don’t give a damn what others think. As you learn to accept and like yourself, you will accept and like others more.

Have a great day!

Michael

Following the major milestone met by my team on Friday, the final push to complete hundreds of tasks culminating from 12 months of work was at hand. It was like watching a symphony performing flawlessly after long hours of practicing.

This project was delivering a suite of complex systems involving hardware, communications, multiple software applications and operating systems. Thousands and thousands of hours later the final moment was upon us.

The team had given a countdown clock to our customer. We glanced periodically at it during meetings over the last year as it counted down from months to weeks, weeks to days and days to hours. And now, the clock showed 10 minutes to go. The air was heavy with anticipation but also of immense confidence in the work the team had completed.

As we watched the countdown to zero, it felt like the moments before a NASA sponsored rocket launch at Cape Canaveral, Florida. T-Minus 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1……..And it that second the first transaction coursed through the newly installed infrastructure, was processed by the virgin application and logged for all to see.

Lots of laughter, clapping, huge smiles and general exuberance filled the small data center room. It was almost anti-climatic. The new systems were performing as intended by the customer and built by my team. Excellent!

The project manager looked over at me shortly after everything went “live” and said, “It feels really surreal.” I nodded and smiled in understanding. After so many months of hard work, sweat and tears, your mind and emotions don’t quite understand that the project is complete. All you can do is just let the feeling flow. Nothing else is needed or necessary.

Not surprisingly (at least in my world view), the sun rose in a cloudless sky for the first time in over two weeks. Everyone noticed. It said a lot to me. I couldn’t have come up with a better summary or ending.

Michael

Nat and I are currently writing a book plus a few other things that will be mentioned in the near future. We had an exceptionally synergistic and collaborative meeting yesterday.

What is amazing about our business partnership and friendship is that our “norm” is always very creative. Even when we have somewhat “off” days or meetings, they are still much better and insightful than normal. I don’t know exactly what happens, but it really can be amazing to experience.

Our meeting yesterday had the hair on the back of my neck standing up as we were hitting some important insights into our project. My energy level was off the scale by the end of our conversation. It doesn’t matter whether we are talking on the phone or working together in person. It’s always the same seemingly perfect meshing of mental energies.

I think what makes our business partnership unusual is that we fully engage and intertwine our own personal life journeys. Our continual search for what makes us happy is one of the focal points. But, most importantly, it is about trust. We can safely be ourselves, know the other person will stay objective and not get sucked into the other person’s dramas. It is refreshing, re-vitalizing and a most importantly a lot of fun.

An vital message for me with this friendship is that as you learn to be more open, trusting and care for yourself, your relationships will reflect the same. It all begins inside. Don’t forget it is never too late to start.

Thanks Nat for sharing your journey with me. I’m never surprised at where our conversations go but I am always amazed.

Michael

As you go the way of life you will see a great chasm. Jump. It is not as wide as you think. – Native American Proverb

Boy, I wish I knew this when I was younger. I wonder if I would have done anything different. But, really, that’s not important now. My life’s journey was exactly the way it needed to be. I don’t have regrets anymore.

Looking over the edge of change can be quite fearful. The other side looks far away. The bottom is out of sight. It takes a hefty dose of faith to jump off. The question we all ask is whether we can fly or get to the other side. The answer is most definitely yes. But, it’s hard to see that when standing next to the chasm.

Faith is a major component when dealing with massive change. It’s not necessarily a spiritual faith though that can be very important, but more in a faith that you and I (we) have all the answers we need inside. This can be a dramatic concept for some. But, at the same time it can be one of the most powerful statements that you can absorb into your belief system.

In the future, if you are standing next to what wise men call “The Abyss”, remember this Native American proverb.

Have a great day!

Michael

My on site project team accomplished a major milestone yesterday. The last few weeks have been quite difficult and the last few days have been very tense. Everyone was on edge working long hours to meet the major milestone for today.

The decision about whether we had met the milestone had been delayed twice which only added to the stress and tension within the team. Excellent leadership, perseverance and persistence were the keys to overcoming all obstacles. But, I have to say that hope was a vital ingredient. Not one person lost hope. It was a beautiful thing.

When we received the decision that the project had successfully met the milestone, you could literally feel the tension and stress immediately flow away. It was like a magic wand had been waved over the building. It was quite extraordinary to witness.

There are still 48 – 60 hours of work ahead but now the team is refreshed and has renewed vigor after reaching this milestone. I have every bit of confidence in the expertise and experience of the people on the ground to accomplish all necessary tasks.

I’m proud to be a witness and a part of this complex undertaking.

Michael

“Long days and short nights” is not a phrase describing the summertime. It is in fact what I’m dealing with concerning work right now. We are near the end of a major project. Everyone is working long hours and very hard to complete all the tasks.

After some time in this mode a certain kind of stress develops which doesn’t easily go away. The lack of sleep and the relentless hours slowly wears a person down. I’m working some long hours now but it doesn’t compare with the long months in this mode spent by my team on the ground. I can empathize though as I’ve been on those kinds of projects before.

All of the following ideas have been and will continue to be effective ways for me to deal with this type of stress:

1. Hiking – I’ve been known to walk many miles over the weekends through forests and hills.
2. Taking short breaks during the day and walking for 5 or 10 minutes around the parking lot.
3. Meditating.
4. Reading – Especially fiction books that have nothing to do with my work life. The Harry Potter books (at least the first 4) saved me on one project.
5. Lots of laughter. Wit. Humor.
6. Playing games to at work. For example: Little things like a contest of throwing paper into a basket, a dart gun “war”, puzzles, and etc.
7. Watching a movie.

I’m doing numbers 2, 4 and 5 a lot this week. I’ll try to add in some more to cope better. They are working so far!

Don’t let stress get to you. Do something about it. Try some of these ideas or make up some of your own, but do something instead of letting it get to you.

Have a great day!

Michael

I find quiet moments,
Moments of stillness,
In countless places.

When I laugh at nothing
When a friend shares a knowing glance
When solutions to vexing problems appear
When photographing a waterfall
I perceive stillness.

Seconds before sleep envelops my consciousness
During the ah-ha moments when all becomes clear
Watching a myriad of sunset colors displayed on clouds
Walking through the forest alone
I find stillness.

Between breaths, when thoughts are suspended
While ocean waves crash on shore
Watching orange campfire flames reach heavenwards
When holding hands with someone special
I reach stillness.

When I let go of fear
When I love myself
When I cultivate hope
When I relax into life’s journey
When I go with the flow
Stillness finds me.

Stillness heals.
Stillness inspires.
Stillness transforms.
Stillness encourages

Me to remember who I am.

The decision to move was enormous. It would generate far reaching and difficult challenges for my family, especially for my daughter. But, I knew with all my heart and soul that this was the right decision. Everything would work out in the end. I just knew it. U2’s CD, The Unforgettable Fire, began to play. I continued my journey to Muir Woods and Mt. Tamalpais.

Within four weeks of starting to help on the project, I had a job offer from the California office of the company I worked for. I was in uncharted territory now. I was leaving my family, my friends, my parents and moving to the unknown. It was a huge step for me.

When pivotal moments like these happen in our lives and deep feelings surface, it’s important to act on them. Several doors closed for me that day, but many more opened up. It was a defining moment and it was the beginning of the journey to who I am today.

I completely removed myself from any comfort zone I had in Louisiana. I started a period of rapid inner growth and introspection. In fact, it still continues.

Even today, when I hear R.E.M.’s Green and U2’s The Unforgettable Fire, that pivotal moment floods my mind and I experience it all over again.

By the way, it did all work out in the end. It was very hard with many challenges to face. I forged friendships that last till today. My daughter moved out to live with me and is still living there. My career sky rocketed. I learned a lot about myself and had to make some difficult choices.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

My life is a fantastic ride.

Michael

In 1993, a year after starting my new career, I had an opportunity to travel to Sacramento, CA to assist in a very large project. I was supposed to go for six weeks but ended up staying for 13 years.

I was going through some personal challenges at the time, so I thought it would be an excellent break and a chance to reflect on my life. I arrived in Sacramento in July of 1993, not well-traveled, green, full of anxiety and fear. The circumstances around me being able to go on this trip were fortuitous at the very least.

Since I had traveled over the weekend, I had an opportunity to see San Francisco before starting work on Monday. I will never forget that simple automobile journey early on a Sunday morning. I drove southwest on Interstate 80.

I entered the coast range of hills and mountains with exits for Napa Valley. The scenery was exactly how I had seen it in books. I was transfixed. I started to see signs for San Francisco and the Bay Bridge. I continued into downtown San Francisco and made my way through the city to the Golden Gate Bridge.

It was while driving over the Golden Gate Bridge that I had my pivotal moment. My mind was flooded with emotion being in places that I had read about extensively and viewed many photographs. All the signs I had passed earlier sped across my mind’s eye; Napa Valley, Oakland, Berkley, Bay Bridge, San Francisco, Golden Gate Bridge, Marin County, Hwy. 1, Sausalito and Muir Woods. The R.E.M. CD called Green was playing on the car stereo. At that moment I had an overwhelming feeling of “coming home” even though I had never been to this place before. The feeling was so intense that I had to pull over. As these wonderfully blissful feelings were washing over me, I made a decision to find a job there and move to California.

Continued tomorrow……….

Michael

Two roads diverged in a wood and
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost

The less traveled road was something I avoided in years past. The unknown gave me no comfort. Fear was the ruler of my life during those times. I took a leap of faith in April of 1992 and went to an interview for a new job. This was my first step down the road less traveled.

Simply put, it changed my life. It was like planting a seed in fertile soil. I grew and changed well past my expectations and prior imagination. Not only did I become happier at work but my personal life changed dramatically also. Many important changes filled the years after that one fortuitous interview.

I find myself again at diverging points in the woods. When I compare how I felt in 1992 and how I feel now, it’s like two completely different people. I’ve changed so much in 15 years that I almost don’t relate to the “me” of that apparent distant past.

I’m stronger, more confident, happier and more skilled. I’m practicing living on the “edge” as much as I possibly can. I’m constantly striving to learn new things, to explore and experience everything I can. I have a lot left to do and a long way to go. In fact, I don’t really have a destination anymore. I’m concentrating on continually moving forward with a few interesting layovers during the journey.

That decision to change in 1992 was a pivotal point in my life. It all happened because my ex-wife gave me a little bit of prodding. So, you never know where inspiration or a call to change will come from. Keep your eyes and ears open. Listen to your real self and not the fear.

Have a great day!

Michael