Michael

You don’t have to be a “person of influence” to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me. – Scott Adams

I started writing about this topic a few days ago in Positive Influences. I saw this quote and decided to take my thoughts a little further.

Maybe a well-timed smile with a stranger is a turning point in that person’s day. I like holding doors open for people. Maybe this gesture makes someone fill special at just the right moment.

With children, stopping and giving your full attention when they have something to say helps to build confidence, teaches the art of listening and shows respect.

Sending a special note to someone you care about for no reason other than you are thinking about them. In traffic, letting someone turn when no one else cares.

Being a person of influence is really about teaching by the clarity of your example, performing the little things, the consistent actions and living your life in such a way that makes people feel better about themselves.

Have a great day!

Michael

I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. – Carl Jung

Are you one of the many people who define themselves by what has happened in the past? Do you look at your present situation and say things like, “This is just the way I am.” or “This is just the way it is.” Do you realize that this type of thinking removes your ability to change or control your situation? Do you realize that thoughts like this restrict and limit your view of the world and your relationship to it?

You have a choice. You can at any moment change directions and choose to become something different. First, you must believe that you have a choice. Contrary to what you have been taught, we live in a world of infinite possibilities and choice. Oh, but you say: “I have no money.” “My relationships are never fulfilling.” “I live within a repressive government.” “I don’t have the job that I love.” “I don’t have time to do anything fun.” “My father/mother treated my poorly.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I have health problems.”

Most of us have been taught through example that we behave in certain ways because of external forces. We use those reasons to justify why we are what we are. But, there are numerous examples of people that react differently to similar events. One group looks at these events as hardships to endure and the other looks at the same events as challenges to make a change in direction.

We always have control over our attitude. This simple technique of managing your attitude can change your entire life. The most notable change will be that your mood will be better. Would you rather be somewhat upbeat and see the glass as half full? Or would you rather be grumpy, complain all the time and make others responsible for your actions? I don’t know about you, but the former is much more fun. I’ve done both, so I have intimate knowledge about how each feels.

Are you choosing to become someone different, someone happier, someone who lives in world of possibilities or would you like to just stay the same?

Have a great day!

Michael

Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness. – George Santayana

As I am constantly searching for ways to be happier, George Santayana’s quote really stood out for me. It is an important concept that we sometimes forget.

I think that intimate knowledge in other areas can be helpful in your pursuit of more happiness:

Knowledge of what you specifically desire.

Knowledge of your fears so that you can learn to focus on the opposite.

Knowledge that you have more control of your life than you may have been taught.

Knowledge of what makes you feel good.

Knowledge that your thoughts have an immediate and direct impact on your level of happiness and that turning thoughts to anything more positive, however small, will make you feel better.

Knowledge that beliefs are only thoughts you continue to think. Therefore changing your thoughts will change your beliefs if you so desire.

Knowledge that everyone on this planet wants to be happier.

Knowledge that life is a journey and not a destination.

Knowledge that learning to love yourself can be the most important life changing activity you will ever undertake.

Knowledge that anything is possible.

My search continues. What about yours?

Have a great day!

Michael

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breath more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and all good things will be yours. – Swedish Proverb

I love quotes with advice for living. This is one of those gems stating succinctly what to do less and what to do more.

My advice is to focus solely on the parts with the word more. You will get much further in your life when you focus on what you want as opposed to focusing on what you don’t have or need to do less of.

For example, if you try to have less fear in your life, you’ll find that you will think and act more fearfully. Focusing on hope, gradually removes the fear. Focusing on not having enough money in your life will prevent you from obtaining more money, so think or imagine what it would be like to have the money you need.

Remember to find ways or thoughts to be okay with where you are right now, but always keep an eye on where you want to go.

These subtle shifts in thoughts will, over time, dramatically change you outlook, your situation and your level of happiness.

Have a great day!

Michael

I’m in Germany this week visiting one of my project teams. They are dealing with a fairly complex project and a challenging customer. The hours are long and the stress level is high for the team.

I believe that one of the most critical elements and fundamental responsibilities of a leader/manager is too give support on many different levels. The following descriptions are meant to give an example of what you can do to positively affect others and not simply an example of what I do.

I’m generally and consistently a very positive person. Under stressful times, the influence garnered from a manager that has a positive outlook can greatly help a team. It easily diffuses some of the stress, reduces the “heavy” feeling and generates a bit of hope. Most of the time while in a crisis, I typically become more relaxed, somewhat carefree and my sense of humor begins working overtime. This has been quite successful for me in the past to get through crisis times and generate solutions to solve the problems at hand

Giving moral support is another great way to help your team. I do that in several ways. I stay with the team during the long hours of the project. I take escalations, some administrative tasks and other duties away from the team to help them focus more efficiently on solving problems. I make sure that I’m available for whatever my project manager needs. I’m extra hands that don’t mind doing some dirty work.

Finally, it’s very important to not have an attitude that some work is beneath you just because you are a manager. I’ve been known to take meeting notes, go get coffee for people and help clean up. Absolutely no activity or work assignment is off limits. If you can put your ego to the side, your team will never forget that you will do anything to make them successful.

Have a great day!

Michael

I’m currently dealing with a very challenging customer outside the U.S. They are some of the most difficult people I have ever dealt with. It takes every ounce of negotiating and customer management skills I have to keep my head above water. We have barely been able to work in partnership with them. It has been quite stressful for the team. We could not seem to understand their perspective nor could they quite understand ours. It seemed both of our perspectives were too far apart.

After months of dealing with their issues, complaints, problems, out of scope requests, endless meetings and constantly answering the same questions over and over, I believe we have finally figured out what is the basis for the immense challenge we face with them.

Fear. Simple straightforward fear. They have a fear of failure with the project. They have a fear of learning a new system. They have a fear of being left alone with a completely new product. Their immense fear has been the root of all our challenges with them for the entire length of the project.

Now that we know really understand that, we have a chance to help them overcome their fear without having to discuss it the open. We can address their fears without them having to admit they have fears. Sometimes that is the only way to allay fears with certain people. Discussing them in a covert way prevents a confrontation; i.e. addressing the fear openly with some people brings up their defenses, creates walls and roadblocks and more fear.

We begin this new program today. I’m hopeful that the team can get through to them with our new plan.

Michael

How often do you use or enjoy your creative side? Many people think that creativity is relegated mainly to the pursuit of the arts, but creativity exits in many facets of life. The really important point is that using your creativity on a regular basis is good for you.

It works the muscles of the brain. The flow of creative energy can lift your mood and make you happier. Using your creativity will make your life feel like it has more purpose and meaning.

Examples of ways to use your creativity: problem solving, drawing, photography, gardening, playing card games, crafts, jewelry design, raising children, cooking, writing, computer programming, acting, telling stories, making up jokes, playing music, flower arranging, interior decorating, dancing, web design, brainstorming and making movies.

I’ve found that using your creativity is like anything else. The more you use it, the more it seems to flow. Try doing something every day that allows you to practice or exercise your creativity. You will start to see the benefits very soon.

Enjoy!

Michael

I helped Erica at the PawsWatch fund raiser tonight. The organization does a lot of work around managing the feral cat population in Rhode Island. Feral cats are street cats; i.e. not necessarily domesticated. Their program consists of trap, neuter, release and monitor. TNRM for short.

The program has been practiced in the United States, Denmark and the United Kingdom for over 15 years and is now spreading around the world. It is a much more humane method of dealing with this serious issue than outright killing the cats. As the cats are neutered, the population naturally declines over time.

As PawsWatch is completely staffed by volunteers, fund raising is important for the success of the program. It felt good to be involved in such a great cause and to see a tremendous outpouring of support from the local residents.

Have a great day!

Michael

He that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. – Proverbs 15:15

I’ve been waking up and promptly going into small fits of laughter for several weeks now. Some of it happens naturally and other times I purposely think of something funny.

It’s turning into an interesting experiment on starting my day differently. My entire outlook for the day starts off on a very positive note when I make laughter part of my waking up routine.

I can be quite groggy and very quiet when I wake up, but laughing, even softly, tends to send a jolt of adrenaline through my body that eases the sleep cobwebs away.

All of these may sound strange, but try it out for a few days or weeks. If you can’t think of something funny, have some jokes by the side of your bed. Maybe your spouse or significant other can tell you a joke. Put on a funny video or movie. Place a humorous card by your bedside. Maybe you have a pet that is funny in the morning. Use whatever method it takes for you to smile or laugh out loud.

Observe how your day goes. Is it different than on days when you don’t wake up laughing? I’m guessing it will be better. I’m noticing a difference, but I need to experiment some more.

Michael

Erica and I decided to go and see the comedian Steven Wright tonight. It was a spur of the moment decision. I’m glad we did as he was incredibly funny, the tickets were really inexpensive and the drive to Foxwoods Casino was not that long.

In the past, I typically didn’t do things spur of the moment. I needed to have everything planned out and it seemed too much to change my plans. Basically, I wasn’t really spontaneous.

I’ve been working on being less rigid about plans and more open to changing them. My life is much more interesting now. There is a great level of excitement that comes from never quite knowing what you will be doing next or what might change. I still make plans but I’m open to dropping them now and going in a different direction.

Being stuck on a particular plan or idea has been one of the harder habits to break for me. But, like everything else I did it slowly little by little. So, now, if something new comes up, I typically just go with it. I’m always glad that I did and my happiness level stays high.

What plans can you break today?

Have a great day!

Michael