Michael

Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment. – Stephen R. Covey

If you think about it, all new growth is tender. There is a period of time when one must be gentler than usual. Additional love and compassion go a long way to secure the viability of what is growing inside. When you work on yourself in a conscious, directed way, it’s important to realize that some of the keys to sustaining that growth are patience, a delicate touch and persistence.

During my meditation retreat last weekend, our group worked very hard on overcoming long time, persistent negative beliefs, habits, and fears. Sometimes this can be exhausting work and it helps to relax and do mindless activities to give yourself time to catch your breath. A little self pampering can go a long way to insure that you recover the energy that you have expended. For example, take a nice walk through the forest, eat something light, sit in the sun, listen to music, have a cup of tea, take a short nap or anything that doesn’t require a lot of mental activity. I recommend staying away from activities that can distract you like watching T.V. or work/career activities.

When you remove those old tired ways of reacting to the world, a hole or vacuum is created. This is where you plant a fresh belief or start something new that will eventually turn into a positive habit. If you replace old fears, negative beliefs and rigid ways of thinking with something that you prefer, you have taken the first step in consciously directing your entire life.

I wish you a pleasant day!

Michael

For most of us, as we go about our lives, the persona or face we present to people changes depending on the situation and the people that are interacting with us. We show more or less of our real self in relation to how comfortable we feel.

At work, you may show one side of yourself, but at home more aspects are exposed. Parts of you come out more with one friend than another one. We act and interact differently with our family than we do with acquaintances. I’m starting to understand and believe that this may cause struggles in our lives that are more subtle than we’ve previously thought.

Slowly but surely, over a long period of time, we begin to feel less comfortable expressing our true self in any given situation. The small choices we make in this area can mean that we unconsciously begin to act to please others more than ourselves. As we spiral down this path, our self esteem suffers, our self confidence decreases and we depend on others to maintain our level of happiness. Fear of judgment could also develop as we become more uncomfortable showing our true selves.

I’m starting to examine how and what parts of myself I show to others. And more importantly, I’m looking at what parts I’m hiding from the people I interact with on a regular basis compared to others I just meet. Here are the list of actions I’m taking and questions I’m asking to understand what part of me is hiding at any given moment:

1. Make of list of your closest friends. Write down what parts of yourself that you hide from each of them.
2. Write down the reasons why you hide that particular part of yourself from each of your friends.
3. Do you see any patterns?
4. Pick a couple of friends and a couple of parts that you hide and begin to show that side of yourself to them.
5. How do they react? Does anything change with the relationship? Do you feel that you are being judged or criticized?

After you’ve become comfortable with my technique, I would suggest going through this list with work associates, acquaintances and people you have never met. My goal is be myself no matter what the situation is or whom I meet. I don’t want to feel like I have to hide anything. I owe that to myself.

Michael

I just spend an incredible weekend at a meditation retreat with friends approximately 7 miles south of Bath, England on an organic farm. The views were quite nice as we were tucked into a valley with rolling hillsides in the distance. Near where we slept was a lovely cut flower garden teeming with many varieties of flowers containing an abundance of white daisies.

Our group (13 to start and 12 to finish) spend hours meditating, talking, relaxing, eating lightly and experiencing the many hidden places of this “wild” farm. My dear friend Rebekah led the retreat and her partner Carlo assisted.

The theme of the weekend was healing. We did many exercises to push through barriers that were preventing us from being what we truly wanted. Many of these workshops were quite challenging for all of us. The group really came together with a common goal of exploration, openness, desire to grow and a strong feeling of wanting to help each other. It was quite an eclectic mix of people and personalities but it all seemed to work out in the end.

Everyone had a transformational experience that swept aside multiple fears that had haunted each of us for long time. The time for relaxation in between sessions allowed us to regain our strength and think about the experience. The weather cooperated with sun and clouds during the day becoming rainy in the late evening and night. We ended the day on Sunday with a bonfire and a huge feast to celebrate everything we had gone through.

It was a long but incredibly inspirational weekend. I look forward to exploring some of the themes we discussed in future postings.

Have a great day!

Michael

Fear is the opportunity for courage, not proof of cowardice. – John McCain

Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. – Mary Tyler Moore

Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared. – Eddie Rickenbacker

I have a lot of experience with fear. In the past it both defined and restrained me. I had a mixture of different fears that all seemed to percolate under the surface all the time. I had a fear of flying, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of responsibility, fear of the unknown, fear of confrontation, fear of new things, fear of being in a foreign country, fear of getting a new job, fear of meeting new people and etc. It was not fun to be me during those years.

Slowly over time I developed the courage to start understanding and subsequently overcoming my many fears. I think I have a better appreciation for courage because of the multitude of fears I have experienced and lived. As I gained confidence with applying courage to my situation, my approach to overcoming a fear became a little easier.

Courage really begins with that first step taken towards change or a better feeling. If you can do that, each succeeding step gets a little easier. Also, by taking it one step at a time, the scope of your effort is smaller and more manageable.

Today, think about taking the first step. Then simply take it. It will be difficult, but incredibly worth it.

Have a great day!

Michael

One of the many things that make me very happy is Thai food. So, wherever I travel I seek out and taste test Thai restaurants. It’s a thankless job, but I suck it up and perform to expectations every time

Last night, we found a great Thai restaurant in the Soho area of London tonight. Busaba Eathai is located on Wardour Street. This restaurant has great reviews on Zagat.com. It was a short 10 minute walk from the Picadilly Circus tube station.

There was a long line waiting to get in as we approached Busaba. I asked the door attendant how long we would have to wait and he said only 15 minutes. I was surprised, but we were seated almost exactly 15 minutes later. A waiter handed us a menu while we were outside so that we could order as soon as we were seated. It was a great system that seemed to ensure a steady flow of people in and out of the restaurant.

The seating was communal which meant we sat with a bunch of people we didn’t know. It simply didn’t matter. The restaurant was quite loud, very busy and full of people having a really good time.

Now to the most important part; the food. We ordered pad thai, prawns in chile sauce with basil, a green curry with chicken and basil, and an order of coconut rice. The food was simply fantastic. I typically don’t eat the curry dishes, but this one was incredible. I think it was the basil. The prawns had just the right amount of “bite” and a wonderful flavor heavy with basil. The pad thai was light and quite tasty. If you have never tried coconut rice, I highly recommend it. The subtle flavor is a great compliment to any Thai dish.

Overall, we give this restaurant a 5 star. If you are ever in London, I seriously recommend this restaurant.

Have a great day!

Michael

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. – Carl Jung

The truest greatness lies in being kind, the truest wisdom in a happy mind. – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. – Anne Frank

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. – Allan K. Chalmers

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. – Albert Camus

I was thinking a lot today about happiness. Actually, not just today, but practically all the time.

Carl Jung speaks of the contrast and duality that we all experience as we journey through life. Our lives go through ups and downs. It’s what makes us human. My goal is to encourage the happy times to be the bigger part of my life. But I would never want to lose the dark times, the sad times. We must never repress the negative feelings we experience, but instead work through them and bring ourselves back to happiness. We can truly grow as individuals when we do this.

I find it fascinating that all humans have the basic desire to be happy regardless of race, culture or religion. Laughter and smiles are common throughout human culture and even some animals display these traits. All children (humans and animals) love to play and have fun. As I meet and interact with people, I always try to lighten a serious mood or bring a little bit of laughter to a situation. It’s amazing how fast people will relax with one another when they are laughing together.

I’ve been working for years on being happy regardless of my external situation. We aren’t really taught how to do this as we grow up. Typically we look for things outside of ourselves to make us happy; a great job, a wonderful relationship, lots of money and etc. While those external feeds to happiness are fantastic, as soon as they change or vanish, we lose our happiness.

Over the next few weeks, I want to delve more into the internal inputs to happiness that can sustain us through most situations we may encounter.

Have a great day!

Michael

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known. – Garrison Keillor

As I look at back at my life, I always seem to get exactly what I need. Many times it has not been what I wanted, but like Garrison Keillor’s quote above; I did realize it was truly what I had wanted had I known.

If I think about some of the challenges and struggles in my life, I now realize that I needed them to become a better person or to become more of who I am inside. I don’t think many people actually want challenges and struggles to come their way. It’s easier to glide through life without all of that. But, when you make a conscious effort to work on yourself or improve an area of your life, the struggle becomes a challenge. Because of the conscious nature of this effort, personal growth can be even deeper. Another benefit is that you feel less like a victim of life and more in control of your destiny.

I’ve been working on becoming in sync, so that what I need is exactly the same as what I want. It hasn’t been easy. There are a lot of distractions in the world and persuasive arguments leading one to believe they need something that they really don’t.  I still have quite a lot work left in this area.

One of my intentions for the upcoming meditation weekend is to remove any roadblocks that are causing me to not fulfill my destiny, whatever that may be. I’m looking forward to the insights I expect to gain from my conscious intention.

Take a look inside and find out exactly what you need to grow as a human and to accomplish your desires. Start walking to wards what you need and you’ll find rich rewards along the way.

Michael

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. – St. Augustine

I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move. – Robert Louis Stevenson

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. – Lao Tzu

I’m back in London today.The sun is shining and it was quite lovely flying into Heathrow this morning. I really enjoy traveling and I get quite excited every time I go somewhere. This trip is a combination of work and personal, which is my preference when I travel. I like to keep things balanced.

I look forward to seeing old friends, especially Rebekah, and possibly meet some new ones. London has a million things to do, so there is never a lack of adventure in this city. One of my favorite pastimes in London is to walk the streets and just see what I can find.

Erica and I plan on attending a three day meditation retreat this weekend near Bristol. I’m expecting a lot of relaxation and inspiration. It should be a nice departure from the last month of craziness.

I firmly believe that everyone should travel at least a little. It’s important to get out of your comfort zone, expand your horizons, develop new perspectives and just have some adventure. Travel gives all of this to you. It doesn’t have to cost a lot. It could be a short drive to an area you’ve never visited or something more involved like a tour to Beijing, China. Pick something that looks interesting and go experience it. You won’t regret it.

Have a great day!

Michael

We all have transitions in our lives. Sometimes they can be quite abrupt and defining while others appear to take their time. During these slow but deliberate transitional times in our lives, the before and after phases can overlap. This can cause some upheaval and confusion that can last for days, weeks or months.

I believe I’m going through one of those long transition times now. It feels like I’m moving from one chapter of my life to the next, but I’m in between both. The effect is like living in two worlds at the same time. I stand solidly in my present situation, but I can see new things starting to come into my life; work, career, relationships, new insights and etc. But the new things don’t necessarily mesh with the old.

Up until today, my reaction has been one of slight anxiety, stress, and a general feeling of being uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not really a bad time in my life nor are the feelings I describe that overwhelming. It’s just a strong indication to me that big things are going on at deep levels.

I’m an intensely curious individual and also someone that loves adventure. So, I’m excited about what’s coming, but there always seems to be a part of me that resists and gets nervous any time changes are underfoot.

After my relaxing weekend and some great talks with my friend Nat, my life in general is calmer and more introspective today. It’s a good balance to the seeming chaos of the past three or four weeks.

I look forward to what the future is bringing or more concretely what I am creating for myself.

Michael

I’ve been thinking a lot about wisdom today. Here are some of my favorite quotes about wisdom:

A person who doesn’t know but knows he doesn’t know is a student; teach him. A person who knows but who doesn’t know that he knows is asleep; awaken him. But a person who knows and knows that he knows is wise; follow him. – Asian Proverb

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. – Chinese Proverb

Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thornbush has roses. – German Proverb

Instead of looking at life as a narrowing funnel, we can see it ever widening to choose the things we want to do, to take the wisdom we’ve learned and create something. – Liz Carpenter

Follow your bliss. – Joseph Campbell

But as I look back at my life‚ it is easy to see that the times when my wisdom and understanding grew to new levels; those times when I approached becoming the person I long to be; it was always the times that followed negative circumstances. – Vic Johnson

Let us try to recognize the precious nature of each day. – The 14th Dalai Lama

The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground‚ secretly making the ground green. – Thomas Carlyle

The power that makes grass grow‚ fruit ripen‚ and guides the bird in flight is in us all. – Anzia Yezierska

Michael