Every year around July 4th, my family gets together for a one day reunion. Many of us do not see each other except for this gathering. We have first, second, and third cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, first cousins once removed, second cousins twice removed, parents, sisters and brothers. Lots of permutations!
It’s always nice to catch up with everyone and see what has happened over the year. We never really have an agenda, though we usually have something for the kids to do. Humor is really important and we tend to laugh for hours during the day. Food is an integral part of the entire day and usually a lot is consumed. I’m still recovering and probably will be for another day or two. 
This year, for a variety of reasons, we had less than 20 people, but that number can potentially be well over 30 if most are able to visit. There is something about an extended family that is comforting. Even if you don’t see them for a year at a time, it’s just a good feeling to know that there are potentially many people that can help in times of need. .
I look forward to next year’s reunion; to see how people have grown, to share what we’ve experienced and learn about what has changed in their lives.
Have a great day!
Michael
It’s the friends you can call up at 4am that matter. – Marlene Dietrick
Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person‚ having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words. – George Eliot
Ahhhhhh! Good friends. They are priceless. I am so fortunate to have several in this category, but today I’m talking about one very special friend in particular. She and I have been best friends for over 10 years. We have gone through incredibly challenging times, but it has made us even closer and stronger in our friendship.
She probably knows more about the inner me than anyone. Years ago, not many people really knew the real me. It was hidden. She found it, brought it out to the light of day and I grew by leaps and bounds. Actually, this relationship and the inner growth that ensued is a large factor in who I am today.
I would, at the drop of a hat, help her at any time. She knows that she can call and I’ll be there ( hence the 4 a.m. quote above ) And I could get the same from her. We are there for each other at all times, up or down, joyous or sad, through thick and thin, during good and not so good relationships. When all other avenues fail, one of us is there.
I feel that I’ve done something right in my life to have the gift of her.
Kim, thanks for being nothing more than who you are!
Michael
Baggage in the context I’m discussing means emotional baggage. In other words; hurts, disappointments, tragedies, failed relationships and etc. that we all experience at some time or another through our lives.
The benefits of getting rid of your baggage are many. Some that I’ve experienced are increased energy, less mood swings, more openness, ability to deal with difficult situations in a mature manner, increased happiness, not holding grudges, living in a more conscious manner and increased tolerance.
A great place to start eliminating your baggage is open and honest communication; first with yourself and then with others as needed. It is vitally important to express your feelings without holding back. Each time you repress what you feel, you create a little more baggage. Before you know it, the “load” is quite heavy.
Many times, good communication will be enough to unload your baggage, but sometimes additional actions are required. Acceptance and forgiveness are important tools in your arsenal. Both work well regardless of the situation. If you are truly having a difficult time getting over something that has happened in your life, a short time with a counselor could do enormous good for your well being.
As you learn to live in a more conscious manner, you’ll find that life becomes a wonderful thing to experience. The possibilities are endless, the opportunities are boundless and the level of happiness that can be experienced has no upper limits.
Have a great day.
Michael
In the depths of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. – Albert Camus
Many associate the winter with dark times in one’s life. I see winter as a time of inner renewal and introspection, the gathering of energy in preparation for the lighter times to come. I believe the quote holds true in both cases.
What sustains us is our belief and hope that all things change. I’m sure there are many of you that view change as problematic. I erroneously believed that also. But without change the negative things in our lives may never go away and the positive things become even more positive when contrasted with the challenging times.
When we have a solid foundation internally (i.e. invincible summer) there is really nothing that can affect us. It’s like having a concrete pillar supporting us from the inside. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you like or love yourself? If you answered yes, fantastic. If no, can you name the things about yourself that are causing you to dislike the “entire” you? Pick one and began to learn how to accept that part of you. Once you accept that part, it will be much easier to make any changes that you desire. Acceptance must come first.
- Do you block out time for yourself every day to do something that you love to do? This is a critical factor of self-love. We tend to be creatures of giving and can sometimes feel guilty if we take care of ourselves in this way. How much time can you devote to “you” everyday; 10 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour or more? Whatever it is, do something that is completely satisfying to yourself.
- Do you laugh every day? How much? Laughter actually changes the chemicals flowing through our blood. It is immensely healthy, both physically and emotionally. I’m finding that laughing everyday is not enough. I need to laugh every hour. Do something to make yourself laugh every day; read jokes, watch a funny T.V. show or movie, talk with a friend and etc. Watch your attitude change very quickly.
- Do you think or write about your hopes and dream? The first three ideas will help you feel better about where you are at any moment. But, if you want to change you need to clearly see where you want to go while being firmly rooted in the present. Write your dreams down. Think about them. Talk to your friends. Be specific. Imagine what it will be like to fulfill them, but don’t forget about being okay with not having them right now.
These simple techniques will help you build your invincible summer within.
Have a great day!
Michael
I’m traveling with one of my managers this week to meet some of our new direct reports. As you may have gathered from some of my recent posts, I’m riding a fairly big happiness high, which is probably an understatement.
The happiness I’m feeling and experiencing is bleeding over to other people. It’s quite fascinating to watch. My dry sense of humor seems to be working overtime. I’m having a lot of fun with it. The more I have fun, the more others seem to be having fun also.
During a large meeting today, the humor appeared to be contagious almost to the point of being out of control. It instantly relaxed everyone and the meeting was quite a success.
I’m finding that all this fun stuff is coming very easy to me. The simple reason is that I’m being more of who I am inside without holding back anymore. No longer do I have the old habits of restraint because of a fear of being judged. It’s a great feeling. I look forward to having interactions with people because I don’t know what the outcome will be. All I know is that it will probably be fun. I guess this is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How about laughing as much as you can today? Try it out. You may be surprised at what happens.
Michael
Success is not what you think it is… it is what you believe it is… and most never believe… – Doug Firebaugh
Belief really is the secret ingredient to success. We can think all day about what we want, what we think success is, but the emotional component of believing is what carries our thoughts through to success.
In the book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill writes in great detail about the emotional component or belief in getting what you desire. Believing you can do something changes everything. I know it sounds simple and very logical, but so many of us don’t do this important part of being successful.
I believe I can work for a good boss. I believe I deserve a good relationship. I believe I can have fun every day. I believe my life is an adventure. I believe I can improve my financial situation. Belief is a great start to changing your life for the better.
What do you believe? Is it helping you or holding you back?
Michael
Life can take such dramatic turns. I shouldn’t be amazed anymore, but it’s really hard not to be. In one week, I have a new boss who is fantastic and I’ve started a new relationship.
As I’ve stated numerous times, I really belief the key is that I constantly work on being as happy as I possibly can at every moment. This attitude makes my world have unlimited potential and possibilities. This is not an arrogant statement. I’ve been down the negative thought road and in my experience, my world was extremely limited in choices. In fact it was so limited, I could easily label it as crippling.
As I practice the techniques to adjust my thoughts and emotional state to be happier, it gets easier to do. I can’t wait to see what my life will be like in 10 years. Things are getting better all the time. It is a drastic difference from my “old” life of things getting worse.
Here is a great book to start learning how to change or pivot your thoughts to feel better: Ask and It is Given.
Have a great day!
Michael
The hardest part about exercise is getting started. The Diet Blog offers 10 great ideas to help you get your exercise program in first gear. There are three that I use regularly as excuses to not begin.
Boredom is a primary reason for me not to exercise. I find it difficult to do certain exercises because of the tedious, repetitive nature of them; i.e. running, riding a stationary bike, etc. For others, these may be perfectly fine. So, I ride my bicycle outside generally. I also like to do exercises that make me think; for example martial arts, step aerobics, etc. In other words, anything that requires me to use my mind.
I also had the all or nothing attitude about exercise. This is a great idea from the Diet Blog; “Five minutes of walking is better than five minutes on the couch.” Any exercise is better than nothing. So, now I walk three times a week for 20 minutes at lunch. Even though it is only about a mile, I feel much better after.
The time of day is another big road block for starting exercise. I know that I usually cannot exercise in the morning. I’m just not ready for that. The late afternoon is better for me. Pick a time of day that works for you. If you force yourself to exercise at another time, it simply won’t last.
I’m slowly making exercise a part of my daily life. I’m working to create a positive habit by doing a little bit every day.
Have a great day!
Michael
I struggle with making regular exercise a part of my daily routine. I’m not sure exactly why. It’s probably a range of reasons from being too busy to it takes up too much time in my busy live. The Diet Blog lists some better good reasons why people don’t exercise.
But, the benefits of exercise are significant and well known. The Mayo Clinic lists seven benefits of exercise:
- Strengthen your cardiovascular and respiratory systems.
- Keep bones and muscles strong.
- Manage your weight.
- Prevent and manage diabetes.
- Ease depression and manage pain and stress.
- Reduce your risk of certain types of cancer.
- Sleep better.
I’ve practiced regular exercise in the past and have always felt better. So, what I’m dealing with is making it a daily habit like brushing my teeth. Over the last few weeks, I’ve had my ups and downs making exercise a habit this year. My friend Nat has helped me just start slow. So, I began by doing simple push-ups and sit-ups every day. I started riding my bike again this week.
Last night I really fought doing any exercise at all. I didn’t get home until late. I was tired and hungry. You get the picture; lots of excuses. So, I forced myself to ride for 20 minutes. I’m glad I did as it felt like a breakthrough.
Tomorrow, I’ll talk about some ways to get back into exercise and make the practice a regular event in your life.
Michael
If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain. – Maya Angelou
Maya Angelou’s quote came to me at the perfect time. I am going through some changes at work and I am finding that some people would rather complain endlessly about those changes. I do not like to do that because it doesn’t help the situation. I also find that I feel really bad internally. All that negative emotion generates anxiety, stress and tension.
I find that I either try to lend a most positive tone or remove myself from the complaining group. Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing. No solutions can be found with complaining. No goodwill is garnered from complaining. No change happens with complaining. Complaining throws happiness out the door. Even a little bit of complaining will subtly introduce negative emotions that may affect you all day.
Next time you find yourself complaining. Stop. Make a conscious effort to find something positive about the situation. Can you change it for the better? If you can’t then just go and do something else. That will be much better than complaining. And in the process you may save others from complaining too.
Michael
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