Michael

I ate lunch with a work friend today at a great Thai restaurant called Spice. It is right in the midst of Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. The food was excellent. The atmosphere was very casual. The conversation was great.

My story though is not about the restaurant, but what happened right after we left. When my friend and I got back to her car, I noticed a Brown University parking ticket stuck on her windshield. Right at that moment, the parking ticket agent walked by us and down the street about 50 feet.

We got in the car, closed the doors and my friend told me that this was her second parking ticket in a week. We started talking about it in a conversational tone (i.e. not loud) for less than a minute. Out of the blue the parking ticket agent is knocking on my window. I rolled it down and he says looking at my friend, “What did you say about this being your second ticket in a week?” My friend and I looked at each other thinking how could he have possible heard our conversation.

So, my friend proceeds to tell the man about her first ticket. He starts off by apologizing saying that he didn’t know and it wasn’t right for her to have two tickets in a week. Our mouths are open in amazement. He takes the ticket, voids it, proceeds to tell us that he is not a jerk and says have a nice day.

People never cease to surprise me. Events like this make me feel like goodness is around every corner. All we have to do is open our eyes and be ready for it.

Have a great day.

Michael

Today, I visited my close friends who live on Cape Ann in Massachusetts. I’ve known them for 29 years. 29 years! That’s an incredibly long time. We have been through a lot together, some good, some not, some fantastic and some just day to day stuff. But our connection is quite deep and very strong.

“He’s (Stephen Stills) been a friend of mine, probably for longer than I’ve know anybody, come to think of it. He’s been a good friend over the years. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’re stilling playing together,” to quote David Crosby during a concert in the 70’s with Stephen Stills, Graham Nash and Neil Young. It’s how I feel about these special friends. We’ve seen each other in our best and in our most challenging times. We’ve dealt with love and death together. We’ve shared deeply spiritual moments that can now be remembered by just a glance.

These friends were the first people that I felt comfortable to be completely myself. It was a big step for me during that time. It’s funny how our level of trust grew so quickly; quicker than anyone else I’ve known.

We’ve lived in different cities for a quite some time, but we never seem to be far away. It only takes a moment to catch up. I love that.

Thanks for being who you are and being my close friends for 29 years.

Michael

I just got back from watching the new Spider Man 3 movie. I would agree with most reviews that the special effects were astounding but the story line could have been much stronger. But, I’m not going to write another review of the movie. I really want to discuss a theme that was brought up at the end of the movie.

Peter Parker talks a little about how the choices we make in life define who we are. These one or two minutes in the movie got me thinking more than the entire film.

Many may think that the big choices we make in our lives are the important ones; our choice of career, our choice of relationships and our choice of religious/spiritual beliefs to name a few. I believe it really is the little choices that we make every minute of every day.

How do you react to unexpected circumstances? How do you treat the waiter or waitress at a restaurant? How often do you laugh at yourself? How often do you say “I love you” when you really mean it? How many times do you give a stranger a smile for no reason? Do you let someone in during a high traffic day? How do you treat animals? Do you follow through when you say that you will do something? Do you lie about small things in your life? How often do you send a card or small gift to someone special for no other reason than you just feel like it?

These are examples of the small choices that define who we really are and determine how we will react when there is a big choice to make. These are the things that I think about a lot.

What choices am I making right now?

What choices are you making right now?

Michael

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose. – Bumper Sticker

I saw this bumper sticker a few days ago. It’s one of the best and most clever I’ve seen over the years. The quote really struck a chord with me and I thought a lot about it.

I look at closed mindedness as a subtle yet insipid disease that usually becomes so habitual that it isn’t even recognized by the person behaving this way. All of us possess it in some form or fashion and from time to time. Once noticed, most of us adjust and open up again.

Closed mindedness comes in many flavors and sizes. Sometimes it is just a little thing, like thinking there is only one way to do a task. Other times it can be much more intense; for example, when it comes to the areas of core beliefs like religion and culture.

Being closed minded not only hurts you, but can affect others in subtle yet important ways. I have found that in my own internal work, closed mindedness can be quite challenging to change. The closed minded behavior usually has deep roots in the one’s personality, so it takes consciousness, trust and patience to get to the bottom of the issue.

This is one of those areas of my personality that I try to continually work on. I seem to always uncover little things that I’m closed minded about. As I find them, I attempt to open up my thinking in that area. If you would like a fantastic example of open mindedness, go watch children for any length of time. They are naturally open and very rarely closed minded.

If you are really interested in reducing closed minded behavior in yourself, you might want to try getting the assistance of a close friend or trusted significant other. Trust will be critical if you get help from someone else. As the trusted friend illuminates the closed minded behavior you’re displaying, defensive emotions may come to the surface. Keep working on it and use the trust in your friend to help.

The benefits from reducing closed minded thoughts and behaviors will be a broader outlook on life, less stress when working with others, longer periods of happiness, and increased tolerance.

Have an open minded day!

Michael

Follow your bliss. – Joseph Campbell

Three words comprising one of the most powerful quotes in our generation. Joseph Campbell discussed this concept with Bill Moyers in 1987 in the famous PBS series, The Power of Myth. Though I heard these words many years ago, I feel I’ve only just recently begun to understand and truly practice the concept behind the quote.

Many of us get too wrapped up doing “what has to be done” or “fulfilling our duties and responsibilities” to the detriment of our self. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not advocating not performing our obligations and responsibilities. But, we must take care of ourselves first or life becomes drudgery. Taking care of ourselves first is not the definition of selfishness either. When we achieve or carry out our desires on a regular basis, our “cup” is filled up. We have that much more to give others.

When we treat ourselves with great love, then and only then can we treat others the same way. Following our bliss gives us great happiness. Great happiness increases our imagination, our potential, our realm of possibilities and allows us to not be affected by the world around us. Being in a state of happiness will invariably help someone else that could use a little nudge in the direction of feeling better.

I do what I love to do now: photography, travel, hiking, enjoying the outdoors, reading, playing music, writing and many others too numerous to list. What do you love to do? What gives you that blissful feeling?

Three simple words. Incredible concept. Life altering philosophy.

Have a blissful day!

Michael

(Don’t forget to check out the Joseph Campbell Foundation website.)

All of us make mistakes. Many judge themselves much too harshly. I used to internally criticize myself on a regular basis. I was my worst critic and most avid detractor. Criticizing myself became a habit so ingrained that I would do it instantly without much thought.

Mistakes were bad. Mistakes were a sign that I was below par. Mistakes were only made by me. Mistakes meant I didn’t know what to do. Mistakes meant I couldn’t learn. Mistakes meant I couldn’t do anything right. It was really tough being me.

I’ve previously written about the epiphany I had a few years ago. One of the positive consequences of that moment was that I could now make a mistake and it was okay. Mistakes became tools of learning as opposed to excuses for self punishment. All of a sudden I could try new things without the fear of making a mistake. That was a tremendously freeing moment for me.

What I discovered was that mistakes have a hidden purpose. When you make a mistake it gives you instant clarity on what you really want and desire. Mistakes help you to focus more succinctly on where you really want to go. Making mistakes means you are moving forward and going with the flow. Think about it. When you make a mistake, most of us immediately say things like, “Well, I would do this differently next time. I believe I’ll try this technique instead. What’s another way I could approach this issue? That wasn’t fun. I’ll try something else. And etc.”

I try lots of different things now. Some become mistakes which helps me realize with more clarity what I would rather do or what I will do differently next time. If you can approach your mistakes with a little more detachment and a lot less criticism, you’ll realize that you have a built in mentor waiting to help you progress your life at any moment.

Go make some mistakes. They will help you change, keep you moving forward and help you focus on your desires.

Have a wonderful day.

Michael

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of “going with the flow” and how it relates to making decisions. Most of us are constantly making decisions, evaluating what decisions we should make, consulting our friends on their opinion of what decision would be right for us or experiencing anxiety because we can’t make a decision.

Inherent to going with the flow is the feeling of well-being and happiness. Going with the flow means that struggle is reduced or mostly eliminated. When you are going with the flow, you are headed in the direction of your desires and the real you. It really is the easy way and it allows you to enjoy the richness, fulfillment and happiness that life can be.

The need to make decisions isn’t necessary anymore when you are going with the flow. The hardest decision is the one to go with the flow and not constantly fight against the current. I say it is the most difficult decision because we are taught from childhood that the individual who struggles the hardest, wins. The person whose desires are fulfilled with little effort is viewed as lazy or lucky.

I believe that once the difficult decision to go with the flow is made, all other decisions become unnecessary. I’ve reached this point before and I’m still working on making this a permanent state. I can tell you it is a fantastic feeling and a much more relaxing place to be. Each day I practice this concept I get more skilled at it, a little bit at a time.

Go and make the decision to go with the flow. Only you know what that means for yourself. You’ll be glad you did.

Enjoy.

Michael

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting. – Millard Fuller

How many paths to happiness are there? One, a hundred, ten thousand, a million? I think the number is at least one per person, but probably it approaches infinity. The limit is our imagination. At every moment we have the choice to go down a path of unhappiness or happiness.

For years, I choose unhappiness for a variety of cleverly crafted justifications. I was able to convince myself that the world was causing my life to be less than I desired. It took me 43 years to begin to understand how my world view was quite wrong. In fact, there was no truth to my perception of “reality” at all. It was a turning point in my life.

One of the techniques I practiced was that I began to act out things that I desired. For example, if I wanted to be happier at a particular moment in time, regardless of my circumstance, I pretended to be happy. I did this just like an actor would as they played a character in a play. If I wanted to have more money, I thought thoughts that I believed I would think if I had more money. If I had a fear to overcome, I acted out what it would be like if I didn’t have the fear.

Over time strange things began to happen in my life. I started to be happier. My financial situation changed for the better. I started to leave fears in the past. My perspective about the world around me broadened tremendously. Where once my life had been limited in possibilities, all of a sudden became so full of opportunities that anything was possible. And now, years later, I’m fulfilling life long dreams. And the fun part is that I feel I’ve only just begun.

It’s a simple technique and the great part is that no one really needs to know that you are acting. Before they figure it out, you’ll already have become what you’ve been pretending.

Have a great day.

Michael

The best advice from my mother was a reminder to tell my children every day: “Remember you are loved.” – Evelyn McCormick

Mothers write on the hearts of their children what the world’s rough hand cannot erase. – Author unknown

I’m very lucky to have the mother that I do. As I look around at the other choices that might have been, I feel deeply fortunate. Unlike some people I know, I’ve never once wished I had a different mother. Never.

My mother is a deeply caring individual who continuously tries to help people. I’ve lost count how many times she’s helped me over the years. From infant until now, she has always been there, without fail. There really isn’t a bad bone in her body. I know, because as a teenager, I really looked for one.

My mother loves her children. My sister and I have never questioned that. She is our biggest supporter. I can’t tell you how reassuring that has been and what stability that brought to our lives. That’s been a big deal in my life because I have tried some crazy things. Never once did my mother judge. She supported me whether my ideas worked or didn’t. It never mattered to her. I judged myself more than she did.

Thanks Mom for everything that you brought to my life. I know that I’m a better person because of you. I’ll never forget that.

Love,

Michael

You just never know when and where you will make a connection with someone. I’m always fascinated at the circumstances that arise to allow new friendships to form. All of my close friends that I talked about yesterday have interesting stories behind how the relationships started and for that matter continued.

I spent the evening with a relatively new friend. It was a really nice time with engaging conversation, some wine, good music and relaxation. Hours flew by while time seemed to stand still. That’s how I find great connections to be. Time flies by but not while you’re in the moment. It’s an interesting perceptual paradox (if you get my meaning).

Great friends always mean great chemistry to me. What quickly follows is mutual respect, trust and support. I’m finding that as I become more of who I am my friendships get better. The more real you can be with yourself, the more open and intimate your friendships will be.

I’m going to bed with a smile on my face tonight. I feel wealthier than I did yesterday.

Have a great day.

Michael