Michael

If we get what we think about most, why would we think about what we don’t want? – Tom Payne

What do you spend your time thinking about? Are you thinking about the past? Are you thinking about the future? Are you focused on what you are experiencing in the present moment? Are you thinking about how bad a day you had? Are you thinking about what a great today is ahead? Are you continually criticizing yourself? Are you constantly worrying about something? Are you worried about what others are thinking about you? Are you afraid of something?

If you think about it, we tend to get exactly what we consistently think about. People that worry about things, find that those things happen to them. Others believe that the world is a fantastic place to be, find that they continually have great adventures and also meet wonderful people. People that think about despair, find themselves in despairing situations. People that think about hope, find hope.

As you go through your day, start to be aware of what you are thinking. If it seems negative or not that positive, try and turn it around. Sometimes, and more with practice, you can take a negative thought and within minutes pivot it to something more positive. It doesn’t and shouldn’t have to be a big jump. Pick the best positive thought you can at that moment. Continue to do that in small increments until your thoughts are more positive.

The technique of pivoting is a powerful yet simple way to change your thoughts for the better. And just like anything else, the more you practice the better you will get at it. Remember to change your thoughts in small steps. It will be much more effective. And then watch how your day changes. You’ll even notice that people around you will act differently.

Michael

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful then the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin

Inherently change means risk for the majority of us. In the past, I was so averse to change and risk that I really worked hard at not doing either (See my previous post, Get Out of Your Rut.). I relate to this quote deeply as it was becoming increasingly painful to stay in my narrow and restrictive status quo so many years ago.

In a moment, by taking a small step, I shifted from a bud to a blossom. In hindsight, there was much less pain in the blossom phase as there was in the bud phase. The energy I expended to resist change caused much strain and pain in my life. Unfortunately, that pain period lasted a couple of decades. Yikes! But that’s all in the past now.

Work on having the courage to change. Take that first small step and then take another. If you focus on the small steps you’ll be amazed at how quick things can change. You’ll also find that the “pain” is reduced and eventually may go away all together.

Have a great day!

Michael

I had to leave the hotel at 4:00 a.m. this morning for my flight from Leipzig, Germany to Copenhagen, Denmark. The taxi driver was a very nice gentleman. We had some trouble communicating as he spoke very little English and I spoke absolutely no German, but we got by.

Now, I was quite tired since it was 4:00 a.m. and so I was beginning to doze off in the back seat, until we reached the motorway. At that point the taxi driver accelerated to 216 kph which is approximately 134 mph. Needless to say, I was quite awake now. (By the way, that taxi driver helped me set a personal record, i.e. the fastest I had ever gone in a car.   )

I could have panicked, but instead I started to slow my breath down to help calm my heightened anxiety. I was traveling faster than I ever had before and I felt completely out of control. I quickly started to feel better as I relaxed and accepted the situation I was in. And in a few minutes we had reached the exit.

As we go through life, we periodically experience the feeling of going way too fast, of being out of control, and wishing that we were somewhere else. Sometimes the best thing we can do is simply nothing. This is a great of example of going with the flow. Some situations require no action from us, only simple acceptance and relaxation. Let the storm pass. Allow the situation to play its course. Let the river take you past the rapids and boulders. Your perspective will be different on the other side.

Michael

If you look up, there are no limits. – Japanese Proverb

As we go through life focusing on getting things done or just getting to the next “chapter”, we sometimes get so caught up in these activities that we forget how limitless our lives can be. We observe the world around us and form beliefs that this is “how things are” for us. We start to believe that our lives can only be described in one way.

The Japanese proverb really hit home for me. As we travel on our journey, focusing on what is in front of us, it’s critical that we ”look up” periodically to expand our awareness. Do this to remind yourself that you are truly only limited by your imagination.

“Looking up” is also an excellent analogy for helping us to dream, cultivate hope, hone our desires and build our future one thought at a time. Don’t let the daily work of living put blinders on you, where your vision becomes limited by the walls of the rut you are walking.

I’m suggesting to literally look up at the sky just as reminder to yourself of the boundless human that you are. Before you know it, you’ll turn that into a belief and then, it’s no telling what you will be capable of doing.

Have a blessed day! Don’t forget to look up.

Michael

I’m in Leipzig, Germany today. One of the many things that makes me happy is to try the local food wherever I go. I’m continually fascinated by the seemingly infinite variety of choices, tastes, combinations and culture that comprise local cuisine.

Leipzig is average size city in eastern Germany. The people here are very nice and laid back. There are a large number of restaurants and shops in the city center area. I really love how most European cities are designed to support a large amount of walking. It’s quite different than the majority of U.S. cities where driving is the main mode of access.

After taking a walk, we stopped at Coffe Braum to try some of the local dishes. Each of us picked different entrees. I must say the starter of potato soup with sausage was excellent. The main course for each of us was quite tasty. The food had a lot of subtle flavors that combined quite well.

It’s important for our growth to continually try new things. See my post on teaching old dogs new tricks. You don’t have to go out of the country to do this. Go to a different area of the city you live in. Try a restaurant you haven’t tried before. It doesn’t really matter whether you end up liking it or not. The point is that you are stepping out of your daily routine, opening your perspective to new things and generating a little bit of adventure in your life.

Have a great day!

Michael

A couple of years ago, my grandfather (mother’s father) passed away. As always, it is a difficult time for the family. I choose to remember my grandfather through an experience I had as a young child. I wrote the following poem while on the plane traveling to his funeral. The setting for the story is southwest Louisiana on the Calcasieu River.

My Grandfather

I remember warm, summer mornings.
The river moving silently towards the Gulf
The sound of fish jumping and splashing
The smell of the trees while the moss moved slightly in the breeze

I remember drinking coffee, thickly laden with sugar and cream to appeal to my young taste buds.
Being excited on this day, as I was going fishing with my grandfather
It was early as we loaded our few supplies in the small boat.
The mist ever so slightly rising from the still water of the canal
We step into the boat.
The sounds amplified by the stillness surrounding us.
We push off and move towards the river.

I remember the water making gentle lapping sounds on the metal boat.
My grandfather starts the small outboard motor when we reach the river, heading
upstream in search of fish.
The wind gently blows in our face, helping to remove the last hold of sleep.
Very few words pass our lips.
That’s okay.
This is a time for experiencing, not talking.

I remember the smell of fresh river water.
The magnolias blooming in proliferation along the shore
The lush green foliage lining the river banks
The sound of our boat pushing through the current

I remember stopping at a log jutting out from the shore.
My grandfather tells me there are white perch here.
He knows all of the special spots where fish can be found.
How does he know, I silently think in wonderment?

I remember learning to bait my hook.
How to drop the line in just the right spot
The excitement of seeing the cork bob up and down as a fish tentatively tested the bait.
My grandfather suddenly telling me to pull up
I hooked the fish!
We stay a little while.
Our bond growing as we catch fish together.

I remember moving upstream again towards Indian Bayou.
How the water narrowed in this primal place
Feeling both fear and excitement at the same time
Feeling safe because I was with my grandfather

I remember lush grass growing along the banks
Tall cypress, oak and magnolia reaching across the water
The stillness and silence
Drifting slowly now
Using only paddles to propel us forward
We were after bigger fish in this quiet area, like bass and catfish

I remember my grandfather casting his line in just the right spot among some water reeds.
Suddenly the water is foaming as a large bass has swallowed the lure.
I watch my grandfather effortlessly reel in the fish.
No spoken words spoil the moment.

I remember
Grandson connecting with Grandfather
Grandfather connecting with Grandson
Both of us connecting to the beauty and majesty of the natural world surrounding us

I remember eating the fish we caught later in the day
Expertly grilled by my grandfather
Smelling the aromas wafting heavily from the open fire
It was the best tasting fish ever!

I remember my grandfather
Starting me on the path of learning stillness, patience, and being in the right spot at the
right time
Learning to fish and how to maneuver a boat
Learning to see the world around me and not just look
Learning to focus on the moment and fully appreciate the experience unfolding around
me.

This is how I remember my grandfather.

Michael

Everyone knows the old saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” I do not accept this statement as fact. It negatively implies that as we get older we can’t change or learn something new. It’s an excuse both for the teacher and the potential student. We always have a choice to change directions, learn something new or become something different. Remember that the old dog saying is not referring to age. It refers to our rigidity of mind and thought. We can be “old dogs” at any age.

“Old dogs” must have a strong willingness and desire to change or learn something new. “Old dogs” must cultivate openness towards new things. “Old dogs” must utilize persistence and patience. “Old dogs” must believe that they can change. Teachers or mentors of old dogs, surprisingly enough, must develop and possess the same skills that “old dogs” need to change.

So, ask yourself the following questions:

• What beliefs do I have “old dog” mentality with?
• What routines can I break out of to try a different approach?
• What foods must I eat everyday? Can you add a new food or recipe to your diet once a week?
• What hobby have I always wanted to learn but were afraid because of ………?
• What stereotypes of people do I hold onto?
• What negative behaviors in relationships do I exhibit and would like to change?
• Is my way of doing something the only way or the “right” way?

If you can answer the above questions honestly, you will have a great start on becoming a “new dog.” By the way, new dogs have more fun and tend to be happier.

Have a blessed day.

Michael

Fall seven times, stand up eight. – Japanese Proverb

I was working with Photoshop today and found myself getting frustrated with a tool that I had not used very much. Of course, the more frustrated I became, the less success I had with the tool. So, I stopped for a bit and calmed down. I was determined to work this out.

After watching an old Seinfeld episode, which always lifts my mood, I started working with Photoshop again. I had adjusted my attitude to have a razor-sharp determination coupled with a healthy dose of patience. My persistence slowly paid off and after a few hours I was much more comfortable and began to have some success.

We can be so hard on ourselves when learning new things. Our society thrives on and expects instant gratification. But to get through something difficult, persistence is the key. Simply don’t give up. While you are getting to where you want to go, throw in a little patience for yourself. It makes the journey much more enjoyable.

Cultivate persistence and patience in your life and you will discover that your limitations begin to dissolve.

Have a wonderful day!

Michael

“Teach by the clarity of your example.” – Abraham

I had a mentor during the late eighties and early nineties that always told me to observe people’s behavior in conjunction with listening to their words. I noticed that some people acted differently than they spoke, while others did as they said. This was quite a lesson for me at the time. As a relatively new parent, I began to understand that my daughter was learning more by watching me as opposed to listening to what I said. As I observed her behavior, I began to notice she was mimicking all of my behaviors, both positive and negative.

Another example that clarified this lesson for me was observing a very nice gentleman at a restaurant. This person was an elegant speaker, talked compassionately about the world and was cordial and polite to everyone at his table. The waitress came to the table to take everyone’s orders. The gentlemen treated the waitress horribly. In fact, he was quite rude and condescending to her. As soon as the waitress left, he returned to his pleasant gentlemen-like self. Apparently his compassion and politeness was conditional.

If you claim to be compassionate, then act compassionate to everyone. If you profess to care for all humanity, then act that way no matter what their culture, religion, race or education might be. If you believe in helping to save energy in the world, then don’t leave the lights on when you are gone. If you talk about the error of being judgmental, then don’t judge yourself or others. If you get upset when someone lies to you, then don’t lie to others.

Remember, your character is determined by how you act when you know no one is watching. Everyone, whether consciously or unconsciously, is observing your behavior and placing very little importance on what you say. You can’t be true to yourself, if you act differently than you speak.

Raising my daughter was a great help in learning this difficult lesson. I try to work on this everyday and I’ll continue to practice until my last day on earth. I owe it to myself and to others around me.

Have a thoughtful day.

Michael

You are probably wondering what the rain, ducks and perspective have in common? Today, in the Northeast, we experienced periods of heavy/torrential rains lasting most of the day. I typically take the rain in stride and don’t feel out of sorts, like a number of people feel. But there were some feeling a little dreary and it began to rub off on me.

As I was walking down a hallway, I stopped and looked outside. The rain was coming down quite heavy at that particular moment. There was large depression between the building I was in and the interstate. I noticed that it had filled up by several feet due to the all day rain. Two ducks were excitedly enjoying the new “pond” that had been formed. I watched these ducks having a fantastic time splashing around, swimming in circles around each other, rapidly swishing their tails and generally taking advantage of their new found water park.

The duck’s fun began to lift my spirits. I watched for several minutes while smiling from ear to ear. They were having that much fun. It made me think about our perspective on the world around us and how we sometimes see things with severe tunnel vision. While some people were feeling dreary about the rain, the ducks were enjoying their new found riches in the pond. They were focused on the present and saw the rain as an opportunity.

I think their lesson for us is important. Stop looking at the world through our tired, old perspectives and began to look at things like they do; without judgment, with a sense of wonder, and most importantly how can we have fun right now.

What can you look at differently today?

Michael