All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. – J.R.R. Tolkien
J.R.R. Tolkien’s quote was spoken by Gandalf the Gray in The Fellowship of the Ring is one of my all time favorite quotes. I feel it succinctly sums up one of the most important activities we should focus on. It clearly shows that we have freedom of choice at every moment regardless of our situation or circumstance.
Doesn’t it at the same time reduce the amount of decisions that need to be made in any given day? It’s relegated to one choice; “What should I do right now?”
I think it’s important to spend a good bit of time taking care of your self. Only when you are in a good place can you give assistance to others. If we take care of others before ourselves we eventually feel drained and unhappy. I find that when my cup is full, I have so much more to give.
What are you going to do with the time you have?
Michael
The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things. – Henry Ward Beecher
As we look at ways to create more happiness in our lives, I believe we tend to focus on the big things, the events in our lives that don’t happen everyday, the extraordinary times, the celebrations, etc. Those times in our lives are truly happy ones, but it’s similar to a huge adrenaline rush, since it can be somewhat of a let down when the special occasion is over.
The trick or art to true happiness is finding ways to really enjoy the common place events and times in our lives. That can be a tall order for some of us, especially when we think about chores or other work that seems to be complete drudgery. How can we make those times be happier? I’ve found that “tweaking” some small item can make all the difference between being happy or just getting by.
For example, if I’m doing the dishes, I’ll put on some of my favorite music. My focus becomes the music and the dishes seem to wash themselves because I’m having a good time. Another thing you can do is take a short break, do something you enjoy for a few minutes and then get back to your chores.
I’ve talked previously about focusing on the present moment. Use all of your senses to extract everything you can out of every moment. You will find more pleasing things because you are more aware of what is going on around you.
What things can you think of that can help to extract happiness out of common things?
Michael
My daughter found the following quote by Pablo Picasso: “It takes a long time to grow young.” She liked it a lot and modified it to:
“It’s easy to grow old, but it takes a lifetime to grow young.”
I believe she has insight into a key component to living a good, productive and fun life. A lot of people grow old very quickly. They become rigid in their thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. Everything becomes serious. They forget what it’s like to be a child again.
Children and dogs live life in similar ways. Think about it and I’m sure you’ll agree with most of their principles of living:
- Play a lot.
- Friends are forever.
- Take a nap when your body says you are tired.
- Don’t hold a grudge.
- Share your enthusiasm.
- Follow an insatiable curiosity.
- Ask a lot of questions.
- Run for no reason.
- Walk in the rain.
- Climb trees. (Yes, I know most dogs can’t do this. But you never know.)
- Get your back scratched regularly.
- Laugh deeply and as much as you can.
- Dance when the mood strikes you.
- Eat some cake or candy.
- Sing.
I believe my daughter’s quote captures how most people live. It takes us a long time to remember how children and dogs live life. But, I don’t think it has to take that long. We can start doing many or all of these things now. If you are having difficulties incorporating these principles into your adult life, try playing with children or dogs. But, don’t forget to follow their example!
Go play!
Michael
I don’t know about you, but I always fight taking a nap when my body is clearly giving me the signs to the contrary. I had to wake up quite early this morning to drive to Boston. Around 6:30 or 7:00 p.m., I was struggling to keep my eyes open.
My normal tendency is to resist going to sleep until it is a “proper” time to go to bed. But what happens is that I get that famous second wind and then cannot go to sleep until late. This means I’m tired when I have to wake up for work the next day. Then the cycle starts all over again.
I always have a million excuses why I shouldn’t take a short nap. I have too many to-dos. I won’t be able to go to sleep at a decent hour. I want to try and cram more things into my day. I need to clean. I should cook a proper meal. I have some work that needs to be completed. I want to watch a movie. I need to make some phone calls. And on and on.
Tonight, for the first time, I just listened to my body and took a nap for around 90 minutes. Wow, did I feel great when I woke up! Did I get a good nights sleep in spite of the nap? Yes.
What a simple lesson that I put off learning for years. Listen to your body. It generally knows best. The mind can get in the way sometimes.
Michael
“When you focus on what might have been, it gets in the way of what can be.” – Patricia Fripp
I was looking back through some of my favorite quotes tonight and this one stood out.
When we focus on what might have been, we loose our ability to imagine and create what could be. Focusing on what might have been makes us have tunnel vision and can instill a sense of despair or hopelessness. I was someone who focused on what might have been. It was a long standing habit with me and frankly this mode of behavior sucked the joy right out of living. I found that it was almost impossible to have hope when I questioned every decision that had been made. My mind continually had thoughts like: What would have happened if I had made another decision? What would have been if I had spoken my mind at a particular moment? What would have been if I had chosen to pursue a different degree? What events would be different if I had done, said or been anything other than what I had been?
That kind of internal dialogue would have been enough to drive anyone crazy. I felt that way for quite sometime and my happier moments were few and far between.
Slowly, I learned to stop focusing on what might have been and began focusing on what I was doing at any given moment. I quickly found that I had a lot more power to be something else in the present than I had while thinking about the past. As I changed who I was and what I was doing in the present, I slowly and consistently moved towards what I wanted to be in the future.
More possibilities exist right now than at any other point in time. Focus you attention there and be what you can be now.
Michael
During my flight from Denver to Chicago today, I was watching the cloud formations. I’m always fascinated by them, just like watching a fire or the ocean waves. I think it’s because they endless change and never seem to be exactly the same.
Watching the clouds got me thinking about change and how most of us don’t really enjoy change. But, everything around us, including our own bodies, is in a constant state of change or flux. Nothing is ever the same. Change really is the constant in the universe.
So, why do we fight it so much? Why can change be so uncomfortable? For me, change represented the future, the unknown. I was fearful of that. For others, I’m wondering if change means more “work.” It’s easier to do the same thing everyday. Our lives feel more ordered. We believe that we have more control. For some, change represents the external world exerting it’s influence into our internal, personal world. We feel less in control. It makes us uncomfortable and for many a victim mentality can surface.
I worked for a great manager many years ago (1993 to be exact) and he had a quote on his door that stated, “Just because everything is working fine, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t change it.” It started me on my quest to accept change. It was a long road. I had to let go of many preconceived beliefs and ways of doing things. I had to face fears and learn to relax in uncomfortable situations. But, it was worth it. I celebrate change now and have turned the fear and anxiety into excitement and curiosity.
I believe that life really started for me after that.
Michael
Vernal Falls in Yosemite National Park is one of the more beautiful waterfalls I’ve seen. The trail starts at Happy Isles Bridge and is 0.75 miles to the footbridge that crosses the raging Merced River.
My daughter and I hiked to the top of Vernal Falls via The Mist Trail. I was not confident in my physical endurance to make it to the top as the trail is 0.5 miles of extremely steep grade from the footbridge. It’s basically a staircase. A lot of the steps are over sized and require continuous leg strength. My daughter was very persistent and I started the hike.
I stopped numerous times to catch my breath and let my legs settle down from the exertion. But during each stop I was able to view the waterfall from very close. The roar was almost deafening. We saw multiple rainbows in the gargantuan amount of mist that was thrown up from the pounding water.
The hike to Vernal Falls is a lot like life. Some parts are steep and require more effort while others are flat and easy-going. Some spots are rocky and others are almost soft. Around every corner is a surprise or great view. Some spots are sunny while others are dark. You meet all sorts of people along the way. Many moments will take your breath away. Focus on each step and not your destination. Friends and family make the journey more enjoyable.
I think the best advice is to wear good shoes and drink lots of water. 
Michael
Yesterday, my daughter and I took a 3.5 mile hike on trail that started near the parking lot of Inspiration Point which is on the south side of Yosemite Valley. Our destination was the Old Inspiration Point about 1000 foot elevation above where the new Inspiration Point is located. Most of the hike was over 5000 foot elevation.
The hike was difficult mainly because we were not in great shape. But after many stops for rest, we finally reached our destination. Patches of snow became common place but the temperature was around 60 degrees.
After a short rest, we headed back down. The views of Yosemite Valley were breathtaking. Around a 1/2 mile from our car, we stopped to enjoy a grand view of the valley with El Capitan on the right and Bridalveil Falls on the left.
We were able to witness a full rainbow in Bridalveil Falls. This was not an ordinary half circle rainbow. The subtle colors (purple, blue, green, yellow, orange and red) were in the mist itself. So, the effect was like shining multi-colored lights on the waterfall with purple being on the bottom and red on the top. It was quite stunning. I had never witnessed anything like this before. My daughter and I watched transfixed for about 15 minutes. And then it was over.
If we had arrived as little as 2 or 3 minutes earlier we would not have seen the rainbow within Bridalveil Falls. We came to the realization that all the events of the day actually led to us being at the right place and at the precise time to view this extraordinary natural event.
Magic exists in the world. All we have to do is have the patience, belief, practice going with the flow and we will experience and participate in it.
Magic can be right around the corner. Are your eyes, mind and heart open?
Michael
My daughter and I drove to Yosemite yesterday. The Sierra Mountains are magnificent. Shortly after entering the park, we spotted three deer on the side of the road where they were grazing. I was able to slowly get within 8 or 9 feet of them while they cautiously watched me. I made no threatening movements, which seemed to keep them calm.
Passing El Capitan (the tallest granite cliff in the world) made me feel tiny and at the same time connected to something much bigger than myself. We watched through binoculars at mountain climbers camping on the sheer rock face. Turning south, we could easily see Bridal Veil Falls. The splendor and enormity of the scenery was almost overwhelming. It was nice to share this with my daughter.
Yosemite is one of my favorite places that I’ve been too. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve had the opportunity to visit again. I’m glad to be back. Yosemite therapy is some of the best in the world.
More tomorrow.
Michael
One of the pastimes I enjoy when flying is viewing clouds from above. It’s a completely different perspective and consequently has a beauty that is not seen from our typical land based field of view. I believe this is a great analogy that reminds us to view our world (including people) from different perspectives as things previously unseen now become visible.
Last evening on a plane from Washington D.C. to Los Angeles I saw a very special sunset. In fact, I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. Everyone has seen and enjoyed the play of light as the sun sets and illuminates the underside of clouds with the colors of salmon, hot pink, gold, orange, yellow and etc.
The primary color of this sunset on the clouds was salmon. Like every other sunset, the clouds were being illuminated on the underside, but the difference was that I was above the clouds. So, the effect was that the salmon color was coming through the clouds and not being reflected as we typically see. It was extraordinary.
As I looked out across the cloud bank for miles, I could see large, irregular, soft patches of salmon color coming through the clouds. As I viewed this, I was reminded of a mosaic, but this one had depth and three dimensions. The colors were not all the same brightness because of the different thicknesses of the cloud layer.
I enjoyed this nature “show” for over 20 minutes. Eventually the sunset turned darker and the colors became more saturated. And then it was over. For that brief time, I forgot about everything else and just simply enjoyed the moment. When I see events like this, it makes me believe that there is still magic in the world.
Michael
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