Michael

In one hand I have a dream, and in the other I have an obstacle. Tell me, which one grabs your attention? – American Proverb

When I look back on my life, I see many times where I had obstacles in both hands because I had placed my dreams in a vault. The simple reason is that I didn’t believe I could make any of the dreams come true. So, for me it was less painful to deal with obstacles than it was dealing with missed dreams.

I had a turning point in my life in the spring of 1992, which changed my perspective dramatically. I’ll be discussing that in more detail tomorrow, but needless to say it was the first time in a while that I pulled some dreams out and actually had a choice, just like the quote states above.

In fact it was such a shift internally, a real pivotal point, that my thinking has never been quite the same. It was the seed of change that started the genesis of who I am today.

Now, everyday, I have a choice to choose a dream or choose an obstacle. I choose the dream more often than not. I find it much easier and much less stress inducing. And every day I choose the dream, I feel better about myself. And everyday I feel better about myself, I’m more likely to choose the dream. Catch 22? Maybe. But, it really doesn’t matter where in the circle you start.

Here is a suggestion. Make sure you have a choice; dream or obstacle. Next, try choosing a dream every now and then. See how it feels. Play with it. Get used to it. Try that choice again the next day. For fun, give an obstacle a chance. Compare how you feel between the two? What’s your choice now?

Have a day full of dreams,

Michael

The great thing to learn about life is, first, not to do what you don’t want to do, and, second, to do what you do want to do. – Margaret Anderson (1886-1973), Editor

It took me over 40 years to learn the first part of this great quote. I believe it was one of the main reasons I was so unhappy most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I had some good times, but the overall feel of my life up until several years was just so so.

But, as I stopped doing what I didn’t want to do (work, relationships, friendships, etc.) and started doing things I wanted and loved to do, my life dramatically changed. In fact, it changed so much that I can barely recognize myself if I look back just 6 – 7 years.

I didn’t change everything all at once. That’s too much to undertake and will only cause you distress. I simply started picking out things one by one that I didn’t want to do anymore. As I stopped doing them, I quickly replaced them with something I wanted to do. So, little by little, over time, I was doing more and more of what I wanted to do and very little of what I didn’t want to do.

So, now, when I have a decision to make about doing something, I ask myself a simple question, “Am I going to have fun doing this?” If the answer is no, I don’t do it. For example, if I will not enjoy doing dishes at a particular moment even if they need to be done, I’ll simply not do them. And inevitably when I do them later, I actually enjoy the task of washing dishes. Maybe I’ll play some good music, sing along, or do a little bit of dancing. And you know what? The dishes or tasks don’t really feel like a chore. I had some fun and it didn’t take nearly as long as it would have if I did them when I didn’t want to do them.

So, what do you not want to do? Pick something. Stop doing it. Replace it with something you want to do. Watch how your level of happiness increase ten fold.

Have a fantastic day!

Michael

My friend and business partner recently wrote about keeping promises. I also discussed the topic in my January 2nd post. I feel that it is so vitally important that it deserves a bit more discussion.

So, I want to talk specifically about promises to ourselves. Do you find it hard to even make a promise to yourself? I’ve had difficulty in the past. Do you find it easier to make promises to others? I’m on the fence about that one.

Why do you think it is so hard to make promises to ourselves and then once we do, we find it easier to break them? Oh, we have a million excuses. We had to help a friend do x y and z. My child needed something. I had to work late. My spouse needed things fixed around the house. I had errands to do. I’m tired. My favorite program is on. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I think the reasons are many, but some that pop in my head right now are low self-esteem, lack of confidence in ourselves, don’t feel we deserve to be treated the way our soul knows we should be, any number of fears, and etc. I didn’t play the guitar for about 15 years because I had to take care of my daughter. How crazy does that sound? I love to play the guitar. It gives me great joy. I didn’t because of several of the reasons I listed earlier.

During that time up until several years ago, my self-esteem was quite low. It was simple. I didn’t value myself enough to allow me to do things that I enjoyed. I think we all do this in different ways. Sometimes in little bits while other times can be quite big.

I use the analogy about building a savings account. All the financial wizards tell us to pay ourselves first (no matter how little) and then pay our bills. It works the same way with promises to ourselves. We must pay ourselves first (play the guitar, take that hike, paint, work out, go to the movies, do a craft, play games, etc.). As we do those things, our internal savings account grows by leaps and bounds. All of sudden, we have more energy to help others, coach our children, be there for a friend, be more creative and basically be more happy.

Some people may say that it is selfish, thinking of ourselves first. I disagree. Selfishness is when you only think about yourself and nothing else, which is not what I’m suggesting. Remember, you are as important as anyone else. When you’re healthy, you can better help others.

Think about it.

Have a great day!

Michael

A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world: everyone you meet is your mirror. – Ken Keyes, Jr.

Wow! This is one powerful statement. I believe and live this quote everyday. I talked about a story of a traveler going to a new city in my blog on Sept. 29th, 2006. The principle discussed in that story is the same as so eloquently stated in the above quote.

Someone who loves themselves and loves others will, remarkable as it seems, see the world as a loving, dynamic and fantastic place to be. The hostile, miserable or negative person will see the world with jaded eyes. Their world will be one filled with liars, thieves, catastrophes and where no one can be trusted. You may be shaking your head, but think a minute. You probably know someone in both these categories. Look at how they view their world. So, are you loving or hostile, happy or miserable, trusting or deceitful? Whatever you choose, the world around you will follow.

Think about the people you know and meet. Do some of them make you feel good while others instantly annoy you? As the quote states, “Everyone you meet is your mirror.” This happens without fail. If something is annoying you about another person, consciously and honestly look inside and I suspect you will find that you dislike the exact same thing about yourself. The type of self-reflection I’m talking about here can be quite challenging if you haven’t done it before. Just be relaxed and easy on yourself but more importantly, don’t give up. You’ll love the results!

Have a day full of conscious reflection,

Michael

The HappyNews.com website recently ran a really great story with several messages called Good Samaritan Makes Up for Stolen Bikes. I really love these types of stories. It just highlights how there are some great people in the world. In fact, there are lot more of them than the “bad” guys.

The Good Samaritan’s message is an extremely important message:

“Inside was a note that read, ‘For every crook, there are 1,000 good people’,” Dennis Leporin told the Pensacola News Journal. – HappyNews.com

The good samaritan in this story remained anonymous, which says a lot about the heart and integrity of this person. It was about the help and not about the person. Kudos to this person for keeping their identity secret.

We are continuously bombarded by negative news stories in every media. We very rarely hear about all of the positive and miraculous things going on in the world. I firmly believe that there are many more good things happening compared to the negative. This was one of the main reasons for starting Cloud9000, Inc.

I wish you a positive day!

Michael

I had a good friend years ago that used this quote as a daily mantra on how to live. I strongly feel that this quote is valid for both internal and external (i.e. saying it in your mind or vocalizing out loud).

Think about how many times a day we complain about events or people around us or try to explain why we did something. I used to practice both a lot, but I have since learned to curb the impulse to complain or explain. I still need to be conscious and somewhat vigil about this as I find it easy to slip into the old pattern again.

So, let’s break it down slightly. Since complaining really introduces negative feelings based on your negative thoughts, replace complaining with something more positive. For example: Have you learned a lesson? Are you taking something personal? Can you understand that things don’t just happen to you? Is there another aspect of the situation that is more pleasant? Do you feel out of control? Is there a way to feel more in control without being negative or forcing someone else to do your bidding? Can you simply visualize a better situation and make that your reality instead?

Why can explaining be problematic? When we explain we are typically experiencing feelings of guilt. Some people actual stretch the truth or lie when they explain. Others use explaining to try and remove the focus on themselves. I suggest that it is better to just take responsibility for your actions, apologize, move on and don’t repeat the behavior again. To me, it’s just that simple.

“Refuse to make excuses or blame anyone for anything.” – Brian Tracy

As I mentioned yesterday, here are some techniques I have used. You’ll find that a combination of techniques will work better while using them over time.

1. Meditation (Helps to focus you in the present moment. See my post on a simple mediation technique.)
2. increasing my powers of observation (Really look at something. See all of the details, textures and colors. How the light plays across the subject. What sounds are associated. What do you smell, etc.)
3. Writing in a journal (Excellent technique! Write whatever is on your mind right at that moment even it is “I don’t know what to write about.”)
4. Using all my senses to extract as much out of a moment as possible. (Similar to #2. Maybe use only one sense and focus completely on getting as much information as possible with it.)
5. When in conversation, focusing completely on the other person; i.e listening and not thinking about what I’m going to say next. (Self-explanatory. This will also greatly increase your ability to effectively communicate with everyone. Relationships will probably improve also.)
6. Accepting where I am in my life. (For example, all decisions made up to this point make up who I am now. If I accept who I am, then all the past decisions can’t be questioned anymore.)

As you can see, almost all of these techniques focus you in the present. Try some of them and see what happens. Combine them to see if the effect is more intense. Remember you have years of habits to overcome, so give yourself a break and realize that you can teach yourself to be more focused now and not in the past.

Have a great day!

Michael

How much time do you spend living in the past? If you are anything like I used to be, it could eat up a lot of time in your day. I would estimate that I used to think about the past more than 50% of my day. What a monumental waste of time! What did I miss? What insights could I have gained? Did it stunt my emotional growth? I’ll never really know. Just to be clear, I don’t feel guilty or bad about any of that. I’m just trying to make a point.

It took many years for me to realize I was even doing this to the extent I was. Several more years went by before I got to the point where I don’t live in the past too much anymore. I have to continually monitor my tendency to focus on the past.

Oh, but what a difference when you begin to re-focus on the present and not dwell on the past. It gives you a sense of freedom. It frees up an amazing amount of energy. Creativity increases. A sense of well-being begins to be an overriding feeling. Guilt slips away little by little. Your powers of observation increase. Feelings of happiness pay regular visits.

Start thinking about how much you “live in the past”. Tomorrow I’ll talk about some ways that helped me start living more in the present. I’ll leave you with a couple of quotes for the day.

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.
- Native American Proverb

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.
- Jan Glidewell

Hope you have a great day!

Michael

I know everyone has heard this quote or saying before. But have you ever stopped to think about what it means and how you can apply it to your own life?

Let’s take an example. You have a habit or belief that you desire to change, but you find it incredible difficult to start. Or maybe you want to be or do something that you aren’t doing at the moment because of fears, anxiety, laziness, apprehension and etc.

Using the “Fake It Till You Make It” technique, think about what it would be like if you make the change in your life. Visualize exactly the differences that would ensue. What people would you meet? What activities would be different? Would the way you talk change?

Next, start acting like you are already there. And I really mean act just like an actor would be playing a character in a play or movie. So, speak differently, behave differently and etc. based on the differences you visualized above.

What you will find after some time has passed is that the change has occurred, the desire has manifested or your habits have been modified. This is a fantastic technique when you are really stuck getting through something. And it works because your unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between “reality” (i.e. current existence) and “imagination” (future existence).

For an additional bonus, as an actor, think about how you would need to act to win a Golden Globe or an Academy award.

Have a great day!

Michael

“The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me.’” – Jim Rohn

This is a great quote. I firmly believe that we tend to focus on “helping”/fixing others with little regard for ourselves. Some will say that this is a selfless act and we need more of that in the world.

I believe more along the lines of the above quote. We should work on ourselves, taking care that we supply all that is needed to fulfill our spiritual, mental, emotional and physical natures. When we do that on a consistent basis several key things begin to happen.

We are happier. We have more energy. We enjoy the moments of the day. We are 100% involved in what we are doing at any given time. Our confidence comes from within and never from external sources. We love ourselves more. We accept who we are.

I think what Jim Rohn is saying (and he’s not the only one) is that we help people more by our example than by our words or actions. By showing others what the potentials can be for ourselves, we show the possibilities they can attain.

So, help yourself because it is the right thing to do. And by doing that you will be the example for anyone that needs assistance also.

Michael