Michael

Last Friday (Nov. 25th) I woke up in a really off mood. I literally was in doubt about everything going on my life. How strange. Where did that come from? I found it hard to get going in the morning.

I tried to get out of it using all my “techniques”, but to no avail. So, I decided to not do anything about my mood. No judgment. No techniques to make it better. I just decided to be with it in a somewhat detached way.

Rebekita had a post very similar to this one called Doubt and Hope. I liked her approach which was similar to mine. I ate well, took a walk, played guitar, surfed the net and absolutely let myself be. Gradually I felt better by the end of the day. And by the next morning, I was back to my normally very up self.

Sometimes when in doubt, it can be just as helpful to take no action and allow yourself to just “be.” Of course, you’ll need to be the judge of when that is appropriate for you.

Take care,

Michael

Expectations. We all have them. But do they really satisfy us? Do expectations create negative emotions more times than positive? Are they the root cause of some of our most disappointing times?

I think the answer is yes to all the above. Think about it. When we have expectations, it generally means we have given over control of our experience to someone or something else. For example, at the moment of an expectation with someone, we say to ourselves, “I expect a certain behavior from this person and when I get that behavior, I will be happier or feel better.” So, when the person doesn’t perform to your expectation, you get angry or upset or feel bad.

I’m really working on removing expectations from my daily life, because I don’t want to be dependent on external things to feel good. Don’t get me wrong. I’m finding this very difficult, but not impossible.

What I’m doing to eliminate expectations is figuring out what I want (i.e. a future reality) but keeping myself in a healthy and happy state in the present moment until I get there. I’m finding when I achieve this, I become much more relaxed (i.e. I don’t have any expectations to keep my anxiety level high).

I’m curious how you view expectations. Do you have similar feelings to what I have expressed here?

Have a great day,

Michael

My good friend Kim gave me this quote last week:

“Strive for the uncomfortable.” – Kim Klaudt

I really liked this quote a lot. To me it embodies living on the edge, taking risks, consistently learning new things, moving forwards and generally being in a place of more excitement/fun.

The old me lived by the quote, “Strive for the comfortable.” It was a comfortable life. Nothing bad really happened. Nothing extraordinary either. But, now that I think about, when something negative did happen it was really a big deal. Of course that was my perspective, but the disruption to my well traveled “rut” was quite stressful and overwhelming at times.

The newer me has incorporated Kim’s quote into my daily living. Sometimes, I still have to overcome a habit of wanting to be comfortable, but I’m getting better and better at it. I am enjoying life much more. The excitement level is higher. More good things come my way and oddly enough, less negative things. Go figure. The old me was wrong about that.

So, ask yourself, “Are you comfortable or uncomfortable?” If you are comfortable, do anything to put yourself outside of your proverbial “comfort zone.” It might be something straightforward like giving a presentation or more complex like traveling to a 3rd world country by yourself. Whatever it is, just put yourself in uncomfortable situations on a regular basis and watch how fast you begin to grow.

Have a great day.

Michael

12 things I’m thankful for (Why 12? Just seemed like a great number for a list.):

1. My daughter
2. My family
3. Best friends
4. Sunsets
5. Coffee in the morning
6. Dry sense of humor
7. Laughter
8. Dogs (Golden Retrievers and Beagles specifically)
9. Music (especially classic rock & roll)
10. Thai Food
11. Books (way too many to list)
12. The sound of ocean waves rolling into the shore

Hope you have a great day!

Michael

Do you have enough time? Do you inundate yourself with long lists of things that must be accomplished? Does every single item seemed to be high priority? Is 24 hours in a day about 50% of what you need? Do you feel pulled in a 100 different directions?

I can and have answered all of these questions with Yes. I think for most of us, it is a “sign of the times” and the society we live in. Our obligations far outmatch our capacity for completing or handling them.

I don’t know about you, but I am a list maker. I love to make to-do lists and love even more to check the completed items off. I cannot remember a time where I was able to complete every item on one of my lists. I suspect it is because I continually add more than I complete. LOL.

Here is a technique I learned from the book Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Take a place mat or piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left side write your name at the top and on the right side write the Universe, God or whatever you believe in. Now, pick no more than 5 items on your to-do list that you want to complete and write them on the left column under your name. Put all of the other items on your to-do list on the right side. They are now the responsibility of the universe and no longer your’s.

You will find that something magical begins to happen. All of your items will get completed and you will feel the sense of satisfaction that comes with completing something. Now, for the magic part….All of the items on the right side will start to work themselves out. For example, out of the blue, people will call and volunteer to do some of the items without you asking. Something may come in the mail that solves some of the tasks. “Coincidences” will start occurring regularly that will end up helping you to complete a large number of tasks with very little effort on your part.

Yes, it seems to defy what we know. So, try it out. It just might help relieve a little of the stress you are feeling from not having enough time.

Michael

I’ve been thinking about this topic for several days as I find myself in a situation where my future seems uncertain. In other words, I am at a fork (maybe multiple forks) and I don’t know which way I’m going. It’s a strange feeling, especially since I have been practicing directing my life more consciously over the past 2 or 3 years.

In the past I dealt with this by never taking any risks. I finally realized that my life had become boring and I had no opportunities for positive change. So, I started taking risks and everything changed for the better.

So, now I’m faced with uncertainty around my job, i.e. whether I am going to have it past the end of the year. For a week, I was anxious and nervous about it. Now, I am strangely calm and introspective. I think the difference has been due to three key core beliefs:

1. I have a very strong belief that I am always where I am supposed to be. (Note: this belief took some time to develop).
2. I have faith that everything always works out for me. (Again, this is a “new” way of thinking for me.)
3. I see more doors opening than the one that might be closing. (I believe this one is a consequence of the first two.)

Helping yourself to feel better in the moment is a great key to improving your reaction to uncertainty. I mentioned on Flo’s Nov. 19th post (called “To Be Honest”) that I practice focusing on something other than the thought or emotion that is troubling me. (Note: Flo’s post is interesting in that she talks about dealing with seemingly incompatible emotions at the same time, e.g. happiness and irritation.) It has been a difficult practice to learn, but it works for me.

So , how do you deal with uncertainty? How do you maintain your sense of balance during those times? What techniques work for you?

Have a great day,

Michael

I was traveling to Sacramento today and we began to approach the airport just as the sun had set. It was a spectacular sunset complete with rich colors of salmon, pink, orange and flecks of gold highlighting the high clouds. Everybody on the right side of the plane was watching. It lasted about 10 minutes total but took your breath away in its simplistic beauty.

I have a strong affinity for sunsets and find watching them to be one of the most calming activities I know. Sunsets are some of nature’s most inspiring and ephemeral events. Most of them do not last that long. I know this intimately as I like to photograph sunsets. Another amazing aspect of sunsets is that they are constantly changing. The beginning is nothing like the end. And amazingly there has never been one exactly the same in all of time. Think about that.

How many times do you stop for that 10 or 15 minutes and just watch the sunset? Are you too busy to stop? Don’t want to take the time to pull over while you are driving? Next time you see the sun setting and lighting the clouds, stop and enjoy it. Just bask in the beauty of the moment and see how calming it can be. Be observant and totally focused on this one thing for the moment.

I took the following sunset near Madison, Wisconsin in August of 2005. This is a fine example of why I take at least my small camera with me. The colors in this sunset are similar to what I saw today.

Always put off until tomorrow what you shouldn’t do at all. – Morris Mandel

I found this quote today and really liked it. This is a great message and lesson for all. I think most of us have a tendency, some greater than others, of working on tasks and items that really are meaningless or in the business of our life don’t give us that much return on our investment.

Why is that? Do we feel obligated to do them? Are we feeling pressure from others who say we must? Did our fathers or mothers always do certain things and possibly the reason for them got lost? If we don’t do them would we be considered not normal?

I have a theory. I believe that many times we complete useless or meaningless tasks because in this crazy, complex, stressful world we live in, it gives us the opportunity to complete something. Even if that something doesn’t get us anything in return. It gives us the illusion that we are in control when we really don’t believe that we are. We can check it off our list. I’m sure you have felt that sense of relief at marking an item complete.

I watch with fascination as corporate vice presidents get into the details of projects, people, crises, fire-fighting and actually anything that requires some sort of action that will generate some kind of resolution in a timely manner. To be clear, these vice presidents have complex strategic issues that they are not handling because the problems appear to be never-ending or unresolvable. So, what does a person in this situation do? They go fix something that can be fixed. And then announce to the world what they’ve done, while underneath, the real problems are being ignored.

So, next time you feel you have a lot of stuff to do, take a look again and see what things can give you more “bang for the buck” to use an old cliche. Don’t do the simple things. Do things that are meaningful for you and others.

Have a great day!

Michael