Flo

“Kenny’s platoon is in lockdown” – when she says that I think “oh, it’s like jail, somebody did something wrong”.  What I say is “what does that mean”? “It means they leave in about 7 days”.  The phone is silent then tears and sniffles. What this means is my nephew leaves for Iraq soon.  I’m teary as I write. It feels there is no way to voice the barrage of thoughts I have related to this. I want to rant at the President, scream at him and resort to name calling. It would all be ineffective but the feelings would stop setting up house in my heart.

It seems there is no point in feeling all this, but it is there, camped out and may very well remain there until Kenny returns. Should be 6 months and I wonder if that’s true. My sister says he’s not nervous, that the other members of his platoon tried to reassure her; that she met other guys who had just returned and they were okay following their 6 month tours. “Tour” – as if it’s a joy ride where they join up with others, ride the bus to see war torn cities and buy souvenirs?

Part of the response is the dead Barner men. None of the men on my father’s side of the family are alive. 10 years ago Dad and Marty died; there is no way my sister is willing to sacrifice her oldest son for anything at all, let alone an inane, insane war. I call her back later, trying to ask what she needs in support. She doesn’t know. I’ll be there to visit in a few weeks, that will help.  At least that’s what I tell myself.