Flo

This weekend, I thought often about the concept of disillusionment. Some aspects of how I allow this to be a part of my life and how much I allowed it in the past.

It has been two years since I moved from the small Colorado town of Gunnison to the town of Fort Collins.  I’m surprised and saddened by the friendships that are not as close as they used to be.  That’s a small part of the disillusionment I’m processing.  My own lack of reality, thinking that somehow these relationships could stay as close, warm and caring as they came to be after 20 years living in that small community.

There is something about the holidays. I think about friends I no longer see on a daily basis, about how much I miss their presence and how challenging it is to integrate this sense of loss into my life, without responding to it by being sad, mopey, whatever.    I find grief to be a frustrating and necessary path that I stumble along.  It reminds me of how much I value relationships in my life.