Flo

People tell Frank Warren their secrets.  All Frank does is ask for them.  Frank has been collecting secrets for the past four years and to date, has collected more than 200,000.

On April 26, I wrote of going to hear Frank, the author of four PostSecret books. Listening to him speak about PostSecret and meeting him afterward showed me how big his heart is.  It showed me how genuinely serious he is about collecting secrets and “protecting” them.  You might think the word “protecting” doesn’t apply, after all he has published four books and posts 20 postcards on his PostSecret.com website weekly ( 20 of approx. 1,000). By protecting, I mean he doesn’t allow himself to be in situations where the secrets or the process can be ridiculed, for instance he choose not to be interviewed on the David Letterman show, for that very reason.

Think about your secrets.  It can be a difficult thing to do, particularly if you consider yourself to be honest, forthright, honest, direct, and again, honest.  We all carry stories with us, memories of humiliation from grade school, embarrassing moments, and then our more serious and even debilitating secrets.  By simply sending him a postcard, Frank gives everyone an opportunity to voice those secrets, create momentum that moves a person in the direction of healing.

The presentation ended with the lights dimmed and Frank giving audience members the opportunity to share their secrets.  I sat there thinking “there is no way anyone would do that” and was I wrong.  Often heartbreaking and sometimes hysterically humorous, the audience members bravely shared their secrets with us.  While getting my books signed, I tried to thank Frank for all he has done.  My guess is, he hears this all the time.  I think I’ll tell him in a postcard.

Namaste’

Sometimes I find that I am unable to let go of things in my mind.  It’s as if I have some tendency toward obsessing.  In order to resolve that, today I took the time to write a letter to the President.  Don’t get your hopes up.  It’s not particularly appropriate and won’t be printed here.  You see, my nephew has now gone to Iraq and ranting at the President felt like a good thing to do.  It allowed me to express the emotions that I was holding inside, and then move on.

This is a technique I’ve used for years in journaling class and one-on-one with clients - “the unsent letter”.  I’m not sure where I first heard of it (surely a book) and it is highly promoted online .  The idea is to write a letter expressing everything you need to say, knowing you will never send the letter.  There may be many reasons you won’t send the letter, i.e. the content is too hurtful or too painful; the recipient is unreachable (for instance, deceased).  You get the idea. 

Give it a try and then gently, move on.

 Namaste’

I recently had the pleasure of meeting with local Art Therapist/Yoga Instructor Andrea Atherton-Nollet and four other creative souls for a few hours of treasure mapping.

Andrea presented insights from Lynn Siprelle  who discusses the art of treasure mapping and her treasure mapping process.  She writes of its role in her life in creating visual pictures of things she wanted and how after 15 years, it all has come true.

Although we were a small group, we intently focused on the task at Andrea’s art table.  Tearing magazines, drawing with pastels, and cutting with scissors, we searched for pictures of the Eiffel Tower, discussed the recent talk we heard by Caroline Myss and created our 2008 Treasure Maps.

I hung mine up immediately in my office when I got home.  Never one to declare myself an artist, the circular shape is unusual for me, with the outside representing my outer self and the inner part representing my quiet, secret inner self.  Parts of it continue to roll around my head.  Each day I see it inviting me to move, step, even jump in the direction where the pictures and words beckon. I’m sometimes slow to approach things. Maybe that will change this year.

Namaste’

[If you're interested in pursuing this creative method for manifesting, many suggestions are available online.]

It seems it has been ages since I’ve posted anything here.  It’s not for lack of writing at all, for the writing continues.  It has been a time of going within and I feel this will continue for a while.  I’ve realized it’s part of my nature to withdraw and sort of gather resources, then when they are all gatherered, plunge in again.  It’s a time for me to evaluate what’s inside, assess it and make changes.  It has also been a time of increased work and where available time has disappeared off the radar.   

I’m thinking about new year’s resolutions. They aren’t something I normally do, outside of “goal setting” for the next year.  This year, I’d like to create a list of goals for myself and today I’ll start with #1.

1.  Claim a greater appreciation for myself.

I’d love to hear any of yours.  Namaste’ and happy new year,

 Flo

I prefer not to watch the news and normally I don’t.  Tonight I learn that Pakistan is in a state of emergency, that a group of girls at Oprah’s school in South Africa were sexually assaulted.  I get overwhelmed by the barrage of news.  So, I avoid it.  The issue with that, to me is my naiveness about world issues, because I can’t find a forum to do so that includes positives and negatives.

Not feeling so well, I’ve hibernated at home today with work being done on my computer and my phones.  I open a new catalog which starts “NAMASTE’, In peace and respect…” and those few words quiet the ragged edges of my mind.  Who ever thought a catalog could start with such calmness?

I have a to-do list that could be addressed - things like “study Spanish” or “balance checkbooks” dominate that list and carry a fairly limited amount of excitement.  My enthusiasm is missing.  Instead, I sit on the sofa, surrounded by my mail and three bassets.

Monday morning I awoke with harried negative self-talk going in cirlces in my head.  There was no sense of calmness anywhere in my body or brain.  Mornings like that rarely happen but when they do, they’re paralyzing.  It’s as if the needle of the record player got stuck on a scratch on the album (I grew up when vinyl was “in”).  The negative thoughts got to the point of boiling over. I was too distracted to figure out how to get out of it.  My saving grace that morning was a phone call.  One phone conversation and the hovering grey cloud was gone, as if it had never been there. 

I wanted to make a list of ways to get out of such a space.  I knew it could help me in the future when I was too preoccupied to come up with options.  Anyone out there might want to add their suggestions as well - what distracts one person from negative thoughts might not work for another.

Here’s the beginning of the list:

1.  Talk to a friend

2. Read

3. Meditate

4. Go for a run

5. Journal

6. Wallow with the bassets

7. Sing along with a John Denver song (after all, you know all the words).

8. Dance to “Footloose”

keep the list going.

It’s Sunday (I am noticing I frequently start my blog writings stating the day of the week.  Hmmm, lets analyze that…).  It’s Sunday morning and although there is always a “to do” list, nothing is so pressing I can’t sit and relax, drink my tea, read last month’s “Real Simple” cover to cover (which I never get to do) and write.  It’s a luxury in my life to just sit and read.  It has been since before college (a LONG time ago) that I can remember whiling away any time at all reading.  As easily distracted and distractible as I am, one stray thought and I pop up from my reading spot to do some random thing.  In the summer, it’s mowing (such a heavy, weekend, time-intensive chore) or gardening and prior to this summer, there was always a feeling of “overwhelmed”, that I never settled down enough to focus on what I was doing, because there were so many other things that “needed” to be done.  To a large degree, the things that “need” to be done are all made up in my head.  Occasionally, outside forces impact this (you know, like the IRS, work or socially related deadlines), but really, most deadlines are self created and self imposed.

Today I want to read about carving jack o’lanterns and organizing my clutter.  I want to find out how to cook the perfect roast, learn to store my shoes and what are the nine stand out coat styles.  I want to remind myself why this time is important, that the quiet is restoring, that the things around me that cause distraction are just things; they don’t really need addressing at this very instant and self soothing cups of tea and a magazine are good for my soul.

Namaste’

My writing.  It has slowed down to the rate of a pesky drip from the bathroom faucet.  The idea of writing rolls around in my head.  Even daily.  Sometimes I use my journal, filling it with pages and pages that really aren’t worth typing here.  Occasionally, I wander back to the Blog.  I will improve soon.  I promise.

“I will improve soon.”  ”I should be writing.”  “Do one thing at a time.”  “Just stop, Flo.”  “Go back to what you were doing.” “Good job.”  Self talk.  It’s a constant in my head. I do recognize what I say and I do recognize when it borders on something so negative that I cringe and my toes curl (I did not include those words!)

Changing self talk takes practice.  It requires the ability to hear what you say to yourself, recognize when it’s harmful and determine what you can say instead.  It’s like becoming your own personal cheerleader.  Try the process.  Listen to yourself.  When you say mean or hurtful things, just stop.  Look at what can you say instead.  It’s amazing to see how kind we can be to others but when we’re dealing with ourselves, we somehow struggle and find it impossible to notice any good at all.  

We all have many more positives than negatives inside us. 

Namaste’

I’m eating potato salad (batch #2) for breakfast.  Again. Meditation is done.  Thoughts are scattered.  Again.  Pulling them all together to form coherent, understandable writing is a bit of a challenge.

My friend Beth’s picture from the Gunnison Country Times hangs on the wall right in front of my laptop.  Pictures of Maureen and Ryan, sister’s Janet and Linny, Auntie Doris, friends Emma, Dustin and others surround me when I sit to type.  Pictures of Mill Creek and the Castles hang on the wall.  When I stop and look at them all, I feel a peacefulness that moves down my body and makes me feel settled in my heart.  Calmer.  Quiet.  Centered.

Most of these people and places I don’t see very often.  Most are 5 hours away and the best I can do is write to them, meditate on them, think of them.   It makes me think of a song that I don’t know who sings it and the words are something like:  ”Friends, I will remember you. Think of you. Pray for you.”  Although I can not grab all the words, in my head I hear many voices singing this song - that it was recorded by many artists at one time.   I like the way friends inspire me.  Thank you to you all.

Today I am reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat Pray Love” and I’ve decided she is a woman after my own heart.  Not only does she describe herself as eating her way through Italy (similar to my recent experience in Seattle, Washington) but she talks about her meditation struggles in a manner I understand and are quite descriptive of how my mind operates.

“Like most humanoids, I am burdened with what the Buddhists call  the “monkey mind” - the thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl.  From the distant past to the unknowable future, my mind swings wildly through time, touching on dozens of ideas a minute, unharnessed and undisciplined.  This in itself is not necessarily a problem; the problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking.  Happy thoughts make me happy, but - whoop! - how quickly I swing again into obsessive worry, blowing the mood; and then it’s the remembrance of an angry moment and I start to get hot and pissed off all over again;  and then my mind decides it might be a good time to start feeling sorry for itself, and loneliness follows promptly.  You are, after all, what you think.  Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”

If you get a chance to read this book, I’d recommend it.