Flo

Recently, on the CBS Evening News Morley Safer reported on “The Pursuit of Happiness.”  He quoted the main scientific survey on international happiness conducted by Leicester University in England, noting Denmark is the happiest country in the world with the U.S. ranking 23rd (above Iraq and Pakistan).  Many topics are discussed as to why the United States ranks so low and Denmark so high on the list.

Among others, Safer interviews Tal Ben-Shahar, who teaches Positive Psychology - the Science of Happiness at Harvard University about this study and about how American’s view happiness.

A 2006 NPR article also interviewed Ben-Shahar, who lists his six tips for happiness.  Although in the article his best advice is #4, it would do us all some good to consider this list, and figure out how we’d like to implement it daily.

 Flo

I recently had the pleasure of meeting with local Art Therapist/Yoga Instructor Andrea Atherton-Nollet and four other creative souls for a few hours of treasure mapping.

Andrea presented insights from Lynn Siprelle  who discusses the art of treasure mapping and her treasure mapping process.  She writes of its role in her life in creating visual pictures of things she wanted and how after 15 years, it all has come true.

Although we were a small group, we intently focused on the task at Andrea’s art table.  Tearing magazines, drawing with pastels, and cutting with scissors, we searched for pictures of the Eiffel Tower, discussed the recent talk we heard by Caroline Myss and created our 2008 Treasure Maps.

I hung mine up immediately in my office when I got home.  Never one to declare myself an artist, the circular shape is unusual for me, with the outside representing my outer self and the inner part representing my quiet, secret inner self.  Parts of it continue to roll around my head.  Each day I see it inviting me to move, step, even jump in the direction where the pictures and words beckon. I’m sometimes slow to approach things. Maybe that will change this year.

Namaste’

[If you're interested in pursuing this creative method for manifesting, many suggestions are available online.]

Last night, well really, early this morning, I woke myself up laughing out loud.

It’s such a funny thing to do.  Having never done this before, I want to do it again - like when you turn in a circle, round and round, until you’re dizzy and fall down, only to jump up and do it again and again.   I want to wake up because I’ve laughed so hard in my dream that I’m laughing for real.  In the dream, I had the giggles and couldn’t quit laughing.  I had already wakened two other times and this time, I just lay there, really appreciating I could wake up this way.

Monday morning I awoke with harried negative self-talk going in cirlces in my head.  There was no sense of calmness anywhere in my body or brain.  Mornings like that rarely happen but when they do, they’re paralyzing.  It’s as if the needle of the record player got stuck on a scratch on the album (I grew up when vinyl was “in”).  The negative thoughts got to the point of boiling over. I was too distracted to figure out how to get out of it.  My saving grace that morning was a phone call.  One phone conversation and the hovering grey cloud was gone, as if it had never been there. 

I wanted to make a list of ways to get out of such a space.  I knew it could help me in the future when I was too preoccupied to come up with options.  Anyone out there might want to add their suggestions as well - what distracts one person from negative thoughts might not work for another.

Here’s the beginning of the list:

1.  Talk to a friend

2. Read

3. Meditate

4. Go for a run

5. Journal

6. Wallow with the bassets

7. Sing along with a John Denver song (after all, you know all the words).

8. Dance to “Footloose”

keep the list going.

It’s Sunday (I am noticing I frequently start my blog writings stating the day of the week.  Hmmm, lets analyze that…).  It’s Sunday morning and although there is always a “to do” list, nothing is so pressing I can’t sit and relax, drink my tea, read last month’s “Real Simple” cover to cover (which I never get to do) and write.  It’s a luxury in my life to just sit and read.  It has been since before college (a LONG time ago) that I can remember whiling away any time at all reading.  As easily distracted and distractible as I am, one stray thought and I pop up from my reading spot to do some random thing.  In the summer, it’s mowing (such a heavy, weekend, time-intensive chore) or gardening and prior to this summer, there was always a feeling of “overwhelmed”, that I never settled down enough to focus on what I was doing, because there were so many other things that “needed” to be done.  To a large degree, the things that “need” to be done are all made up in my head.  Occasionally, outside forces impact this (you know, like the IRS, work or socially related deadlines), but really, most deadlines are self created and self imposed.

Today I want to read about carving jack o’lanterns and organizing my clutter.  I want to find out how to cook the perfect roast, learn to store my shoes and what are the nine stand out coat styles.  I want to remind myself why this time is important, that the quiet is restoring, that the things around me that cause distraction are just things; they don’t really need addressing at this very instant and self soothing cups of tea and a magazine are good for my soul.

Namaste’

Yesterday I was quoting SARK’s “States of Being”.  This focus on self-talk seems important, so I want to continue with SARK’s suggestions about how she has learned to accept parts of herself that she doesn’t necessarily “love” with her “new view” of situations.

Repeating addictive behaviors: Support is essential (find someone/group for support)

Overwhelm, anxiety:  If your inner nurturing parent is engaged and active, it is much less posssible to feel overwhelmed or anxious.  Also, if you can identify when you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, and give it room to exist, it will dissolve and transform.

Controlling/perfectionist:  There is no control and perfection is arrogant.  Practrice messiness, letting go, and doing things badly.

Fear: Identify a fear and work with it objectively.  Recognize the contraction of fear and experiment with expansion of an opposite state.  Example:  Loss vs. plenty

                 - SARK, Prosperity Pie

Practice positive self talk - it’s an essential part of self-love.

This morning I was noticing my self-talk.  At the moment I noticed it, it was “if you put things away, you’ll find them faster.”  Although that could have been stated negatively, surprisingly, in that moment is was stated as more of an observation.  An awareness of fact.  I can’t say my self-talk is always so kind.

It’s not that I’m punitive when I talk to myself (sometimes, and only when I’m alone, it is even aloud!) but I don’t always have loving kindness, compassion or empathy for me.  If I can do that toward others, I know I can do it for me.  So, why don’t I?

In “Prosperity Pie” SARK has an entire section she titles “States of Being”.  She says:

“I am still surprised when I keep discovering how little I actually accept myself.  As soon as I feel certainty in one kind or level of self-acceptance, it seems that another appears.  This is closely related to lack of self-love, with a twist: I think we are being asked to accept things we don’t necessarily love.  This is a rich ongoing area of inquiry for me and many others.”

She continues by giving suggestions on how we can change this.

Not accepting one-self: Accept everything, judge nothing.

Habitual negative thought: You can gently practice new self-talk and experiment with a different focus.

Addicted to struggle, suffering, drama: If you can identify what need your compulsive behavior is meeting, you can choose to do it differently.

Rehearsing, predicting, futurizing:  Meditation is perhaps the best antidote for any of the above.

Compulsive/obsessive thought, worrying: Worry is not preparation (attributed to Cheri Huber).  Objective thinking is very stabilizing.

The list is long.  I’ll continue with the rest tomorrow.  In the meantime, try to hear what you’re saying to yourself.

Namaste’

Flo

My issue with losing time continues.  Is it possibly because I am experiencing flow?  Somehow, I don’t think that is what is happening!

Michael writes about positive psychology and the study of happiness.  Today is the first time I have heard the name Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and his theory about flow.  I like this idea of intrinsic motivation and focused attention.  I can also state, with 100% clarity, this is not where my time is going.

Please let me know if you find it out there. Somewhere. (One step better. When you find it, please send it back.)

Saying kind things to ourselves.  It’s an interesting idea, isn’t it?  It’s the theme of Michael’s blog today and a favorite topic of author Louise Hay.  In her book “You Can Heal Your Life” she starts her book with “Some Points of My Philosophy” and the first stated is “We are each responsible for all of our experiences” and she continues from there beginning the first chapter with “What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us”. 

This book contains a section of Problems, Probable Causes and New Thought Patterns.  The new thought patterns are affirmations, sayings to state to yourself repeatedly.  Hay also states to “assume that you are already in the process of healing” and to repeat the new thought pattern whenever thoughts of the problem occur.

I can remember a period of time when my bathroom mirror was covered with colored index cards which had different affirmations printed on them.  When brushing my teeth, washing my face and putting on makeup, I was reminded to say kind things to myself.  This affirmation process stayed on my mirror for a very long time, entirely changing my pattern of self talk. 

Michael’s blog http://cloud9000.com/michael/2007/01/25/living-in-the-past-part-2/ echoes something I recently heard and scribbled on the front page of last week’s newspaper “Sometimes in order to move forward, you have to stop looking back”.

I was struck by this the day I heard it, by the sincerity of it, the truth to it.  Looking back isn’t always bad, it depends on what you’re doing while you look.  I previously mentioned a meditation retreat I attended in October but didn’t talk about the process I went through that weekend.  I spent the first two days thinking about past and present every time my eyes were shut.  It felt like I had made enormous progress when I was able to shut my eyes and notice the sounds in the room.  I heard someone sneeze.  Another person blew their nose.  There was a shuffling sound as someone returned to their mat.  Someone took a drink from their water bottle.  Because my eyes were closed, sounds and smells were what I noticed.  Had my mind been as it had been at the beginning, I wouldn’t have noticed how lunch smelled, how insightful the words spoken to us were.  I wouldn’t have noticed that my body was comfortable and at ease in the meditation position.  If I hadn’t had two days of quiet sitting, my body and my brain would have never met up with each other.

Namaste’  Flo