Flo

Even from the title of her book “Eating Mangoes Naked”, you get the impression SARK will be sharing something inspiring and fun.  Her focus throughout the entire book is on pleasure. At the beginning of the book she says:

It is our birthright to enjoy ourselves and find all the pleasure in our lives.  Pleasure loves company and delights in being discovered.

Early in the book she discusses the pleasure we get by giving to others and challenges us to explore this aspect of ourselves.  Here is her list of questions related to how we give in our lives (the questions make good journaling prompts):

Are you able to give without an “credit”?

Do you feel compelled to give in honor of certain occasions even if you don’t want to?

Do you search for ways and reasons to give?

Is giving easy for you?

In what ways to you feel satisfied or dissatisfied with how others give to you?

Ways in which you welcome and fully embrace gifts, or not?

Share a story of a favorite time you gave to someone.

What can you offer to the world with your giving?

I like the last question and wonder what I can offer the world with my giving.  Sometimes I think just the act of approaching my day with an open heart is the best I can do (and some days, even that is a little challenging).

Namaste’

Flo

Yesterday I was quoting SARK’s “States of Being”.  This focus on self-talk seems important, so I want to continue with SARK’s suggestions about how she has learned to accept parts of herself that she doesn’t necessarily “love” with her “new view” of situations.

Repeating addictive behaviors: Support is essential (find someone/group for support)

Overwhelm, anxiety:  If your inner nurturing parent is engaged and active, it is much less posssible to feel overwhelmed or anxious.  Also, if you can identify when you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, and give it room to exist, it will dissolve and transform.

Controlling/perfectionist:  There is no control and perfection is arrogant.  Practrice messiness, letting go, and doing things badly.

Fear: Identify a fear and work with it objectively.  Recognize the contraction of fear and experiment with expansion of an opposite state.  Example:  Loss vs. plenty

                 – SARK, Prosperity Pie

Practice positive self talk – it’s an essential part of self-love.

This morning I was noticing my self-talk.  At the moment I noticed it, it was “if you put things away, you’ll find them faster.”  Although that could have been stated negatively, surprisingly, in that moment is was stated as more of an observation.  An awareness of fact.  I can’t say my self-talk is always so kind.

It’s not that I’m punitive when I talk to myself (sometimes, and only when I’m alone, it is even aloud!) but I don’t always have loving kindness, compassion or empathy for me.  If I can do that toward others, I know I can do it for me.  So, why don’t I?

In “Prosperity Pie” SARK has an entire section she titles “States of Being”.  She says:

“I am still surprised when I keep discovering how little I actually accept myself.  As soon as I feel certainty in one kind or level of self-acceptance, it seems that another appears.  This is closely related to lack of self-love, with a twist: I think we are being asked to accept things we don’t necessarily love.  This is a rich ongoing area of inquiry for me and many others.”

She continues by giving suggestions on how we can change this.

Not accepting one-self: Accept everything, judge nothing.

Habitual negative thought: You can gently practice new self-talk and experiment with a different focus.

Addicted to struggle, suffering, drama: If you can identify what need your compulsive behavior is meeting, you can choose to do it differently.

Rehearsing, predicting, futurizing:  Meditation is perhaps the best antidote for any of the above.

Compulsive/obsessive thought, worrying: Worry is not preparation (attributed to Cheri Huber).  Objective thinking is very stabilizing.

The list is long.  I’ll continue with the rest tomorrow.  In the meantime, try to hear what you’re saying to yourself.

Namaste’

Flo

Michael has written several times of of his fondness for Yosemite National Park. This morning I was reading the most recent Patagonia catalog (2007 Spring Yosemite). The entire catalog features pictures of Yosemite. I can’t really tell you what they are selling and I love the catalog for this reason. The photography and writing are always phenomenal. The catalog’s special feature is photographs of climbers in Yosemite and the park is featured on the Patagonia website.

The website features a slide show of Yosemite photography from Glen Denny from the 1960s. I was in Yosemite only 45 days ago and stood in the spot the first photo was taken. Of course, not being a climber, the pictures that follow are out of bounds for me. I marvel at the drive of climbers, the commitment to “go higher”. It’s difficult for me to imagine spending that much time on one thing – days to climb one peak. The weeks and months and years it can take to prepare.

Take a few minutes to check out the photographs; some are breathtaking.

Like Chris, I am in Colorado awaiting a spring snow storm (the same spring snow storm).  My alarm is set to get up at 5:00 a.m., just in case the roads are clear enough for me to drive to Denver for a workshop.  In all honesty, I would relish a day at home that isn’t a weekend day.

As a self-employed person, you would think I could make this choice any day of the week, anytime I want.  It doesn’t feel that way to me and so I don’t do it unless I’m going to a workshop (work) or am taking a “real” vacation (you know, the seven days out of town type of vacation).  I am highly-reliable-overly-responsible-otherwise-dependable to show up at work each day.  I just don’t think about taking a day off.

Today, while at the CSU bookstore, I saw a journal titled “What I want” – it is a journal designed to help people buy you gifts.  I liked the title because it made me think “what do you want?” 

I do want the day off tomorrow although truthfully, I will work in my home office if I’m here.  Something about paying for a workshop doesn’t really give me permission not to attend – I need the excuse of bad weather to validate and justify my choices.

I’d like to hear other excuses – it will diminish my guilt!

I just finished reading The Tender Bar, a memoir by Pulitzer Prize winning author, J.R. Moehringer.  Because he is a writer for the Los Angeles Times, I went to the LA Times website to check out his writing.  Upon reading, I was immediately distracted by the content of the story. 

In his March 25, 2007 story entitled “Dear Me”, Moehringer tells about two people who created and developed FutureMe.org.  Matt Sly and Jay Patrikios decided to develop software and a website that enables us to email ourselves in the future.  What a concept!  What imagination, talent and creativity of these two people.

Some of you might ask “why in the world would I want to email my future self?” After reading the story, you might change your mind.

If you were to write an email to your future self, what would you say?

Sometimes our gifts come from the strangest places. Yesterday, it was my turn to clean the refrigerator.  Not a job I particularly relish but one that is always necessary.  My intention for increased awareness, which I felt the need to discuss last week, was very present.

We have lived in this house for more than two years and the refrigerator has been with us the entire time.  Periodically, one or both of us stand in front of it, peering into and around the shelves looking for the long lost jar of huckleberry jelly or cashew butter which we simply can not find.  Yesterday while cleaning, I realized the shelves on the refrigerator pull out so all the contents can be easily seen.  This was not the first time in two years the refrigerator has been cleaned.  It was, however, the first time I had noticed this great feature and can’t help but wonder, what else is right in front of me that I don’t see?

My wish for you today is that you will see that something you need or want is right under your nose.

This morning, I got up on the wrong side of the bed.

That is something my father and my grandfather used to say as we’d plod into the kitchen for breafast with our hair tossled and faces creased from the pillow. “You got up on the wrong side of the bed, didn’cha?”  What they were talking about was how grumpy, how cranky we were early in the morning.

I woke up thinking about the things I did wrong yesterday, the things where I’d like to yell out “Do overs” and get a chance to re-do the situation and act, at least slightly, different.  On most days, I’m much more gentle with myself than this morning.

The thing is, these thoughts and messages aren’t intended to be negative self talk.  Their intention is to push me to do better next time, be more sensitive to others and be more aware of myself.

So, I’ll move through today, leaving “cranky” at home, hopefully crumbled in the driveway and look for opportunities to be more aware.

What would you like to be more aware of today?

This morning, reading the Gunnison Country Times, I noticed their special ‘Homes’ edition included a remodeled home across the street from a close friend of mine.

I have only seen this home on the outside and the article includes several “before” and “after” photographs of the interior.  It made me start thinking about all the “befores” and “afters” in my life.

It has always been my preference to look at the “before” and “after” pictures in fashion magazines.  The photos, reflecting makeup, hair, clothing and sometimes even surgical improvements, look fabulous.  As a consumer, I am left wondering how I can achieve such success. More importantly, I was thinking about the “before” and “after” for my insides, my emotional and mental self.  My initial thought was “if right now is ‘before’, when is ‘after’?”

Rob Brezny’s Free Will Astrology, printed in the Fort Collins Weekly, typically has something interesting to consider about the Gemini part of me.  Today it’s long: 

“Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish,” prayed Michelangelo. He exulted in the feeling of having too much to express. He thrived on the stimulus of his delicious frustration, and used the inspiring sting of his nagging inadequacy as a fuel for his boundless creativity. Are you willing to experiment with this approach, Gemini? Do you have the nerve to love what’s imperfect about your life? Are you brave enough to laugh at the probability that your yearning will never be completely fulfilled?”

Love what is imperfect about my life?

That’s a tough one for me.  The inner critic starts squawking.  It has a Loud Voice.  Annoying Voice.  Things like “What are you doing?”   “Now, that’s effective.”  Little reminders that I still cannot get it right.  Little slams and digs that magnify my insecurities enough that I’m irritable and grumble them aloud, under my breath.  Where did those affirmations go?

Laughing at myself is something I need to do more of.  I’ll create a new “to do” list: 

Take things slightly less seriously

Accept that I’ll always carry some imperfections (it makes me human!)

Laugh more often.

Consider this: Do you have the nerve to love what’s imperfect about your life?