Flo

“You only have 30 minutes”.  This is the message I tell myself as I walk onto the deck with my cup of tea, journal and book.  I’m still savoring every last word of “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert, the same way you would eat every last crumb of my grandmother’s fresh apple cake.

As my day goes, 30 minutes sounds like alot of time, but it isn’t enough.  I feel a little “rushed” sensation at the base of my spine and it prickles up to my head.  I am listing phone calls I need to make today and sorting a meeting agenda.  There are many ways I’d like to spend this day and these “ways” have nothing to do with work.  I’d like to be sipping my tea in Italy, looking down from my patio at the sea. Or getting my toes wet in Belize or climbing to try the zip line in Costa Rica.  These are all things on my “TO DO” list – the list of things I want to do in my life.  You can see, it’s slightly different from the daily, mundane “to do” list that includes things like (1) grocery shop (2) pay bills (3) call my grandmother.

Reading the July 11-17, 2007 Fort Collins Weekly ,I perused Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology.  I’ve written before on his writings about the Gemini that inhabits my being and enjoyed his latest findings:

The German work selig can mean both “ecstatic” or “blessed”.  It implies that profound bliss can be a devine gift; that deep pleasure may generate or come from spiritual inspiration.  The English language doesn’t have a term comparable to selig, maybe because our culture regards ecstasy with suspicion.  Religious people tend to believe that the blessed are those who are good and kind, certainly not those who are skilled at cultivating esctatic states.  People who worship rationality, on the other hand, like intellectuals and scientists, often think of ecstacy as at best an irrelevant state, and at worst a nonproductive or deluded indulgence.  Personally, I’m in alignment with the values embodied by the word selig.  It happens to be your specialty this week.

May your day be ecstatic or blessed or, in the best case, both!

Wally wants extra attention this morning.  He sits next to me as I drink tea, peering up at me as if I can sit here and not notice his woebegone brown eyes.  Something large just hit the branch of the Maple tree and I’m quite sure no pterodactyl have flown by in the last few minutes.  I hear the bird calls, the trucks on the highway and notice a very non-pterodactyl-like squirrel in the Maple, now the Ash tree.

Last night I watched the Pursuit of Happyness.  It seemed insightful of Chris Gardner to notice how the Declaration of Independence included the pursuit of happiness, not just happiness alone.  He noticed that happiness was included other places in the Declaration, that it was something he was pursuing, and at the end of the movie declared his moment of happiness.  It took alot of work to reach that one moment.  Although he had timesof despair, he was focused and his intentions remained on completing the internship and being THE employee who gets the job.  I admire that and wonder what I’ve done in my life with the same level of intensity.

I talked with an artist named Leo this week, who paints and sells her pictures at Pike Place Public Market, in Seattle.  Her art work is reminiscent of Van Gogh and she sells other art she has created as well.  I discovered two 8 x 10 prints which state “I love you” in red ink with red hearts decorating the pieces.  All each page, she has written personal statements to the person she created this gift for.  Here are examples of the statements:

“You are loving”

“I love you because you love a slow boat to china”

“You sing”

“I love you because you pretend you are a kitty-cat”

“Because you give and give”

“Because you say the moon is made of cheese.”

“I love you because you dig in the dirt”

“I love you because you secretly know how to fly”

“I love you because you fuss over your hair as if it were the crown for the Queen of England” (this is my favorite)

 These are amazing and personal gifts Leo made for others and is sharing.  I bought both prints.  They make me think about the things I love about others in my life, things that probably should be said, yet never are. 

Think of all the people you know who would appreciate being told they are loved by you and why.  Tell them!

Earlier this week, I had a “day off”.  The problem is, I worked all day long.  Phone calls, reports, consultation – it didn’t stop and I became pretty discouraged.

In her book “Inspiration Sandwich”, SARK makes suggestions about increasing creativity, getting unstuck.

“I think it is about little things. Altering your routine as much as possible:

Buy purple flowers and put them on a hat.

Rake leaves and quit in the middle.

Don’t check your mail for 3 days.

Read the newspaper in the opposite order.

Break a dish you never liked.

Wear hideously colored socks.

If you’re in a hurry, do things slowly.

These “little things” will lead you into a new mood.

A new mood will lead you into new creativity.

Then immediately take a nap and let it all soak in.”

SARK’s books are filled with inspiration and creativity.  It is entirely impossible to read them without smiling, without laughing aloud.  Apparently, I should have followed SARK’s advice and altered my routine, even slightly. What is your creative idea for altering your routine today?

I read that May 15th was “Freedom from Self-improvement Day”.  Jennifer Louden “the contemporary voice of women’s comfort — a best-selling author, life coach and social commentator who provides women with the information, inspiration, and tools to create lives they love” chose this date to create a day to just take a break from self-improvment for just a moment, an hour, a day.  That sounds like such an inviting thing to do, and although it’s no longer May 15, I find it something worth thinking about.

Of course, this leads me to SARK again and her concept of “radical self-acceptance”.  In  her book “Succulent Wild Woman” (men can read it too, by the way), she tells a story of a phone message she received that stated “SARK, I send you waking naps, where for brief periods of time you can stop working on yourself, and simply luxuriate in where you are right now, just as you are.”  It was as if someone gave her permission to take a break from the constant “work” she was doing on herself. 

This is a good goal for the day (sounds like I’m trying to improve on taking a break from improving!?)

In case you haven’t had enough of me talking about SARK this month, today I’ve noticed her focus on things we do for ourselves.

In her book Succulent Wild Women, SARK asks:

“How do you nourish yourself? (Besides food)

nourishing touch?

nourishing walks?

nourishing books?

nourishing words?

nourishing naps?

nourishing self-talk?

The nourishment starts on the inside.  When we tell ourselves and others the truth and identify what we really want and need, we are nourishing ourselves.”

Today has been a good day to think about nourishing me – lots of rain (at least the ground was being nourished).  In my ideal world, I would have spent some time appreciating me.  Instead, I worked, buzzed around completing thing after thing after thing on my “To-Do” list and I ended up only fatigued and ready for sleep, but not yet done with the “list”.  Before I go to sleep, I will list what I appreciate about me and anticipate I will sleep better for it.

As I continue to explore my forthcoming birthday I read in “Transformation Soup” SARK’s personal process with aging. She states things in a manner all of us can relate to.

 She lists:

“The benefits and gifts of my aging I’ve seen so far:

- Men or women playing games don’t even vaguely interest me.

- My centeredness and power.

- I have more insurance and different kinds of garbage bags.

- My vision for helping others is much clearer and keener.

- I am less self-absorbed.

- I am more grateful for health and more compassionate in general.

- I know what I like and how to experience it.

- Emotional balance.

- Freedom from reproduction and childbirth.

- Being Aunt and Godmother and friend to children.

- Being fiercely in love with myself.

- Being able to more deeply give and receive love.”

- SARK, Transformation Soup

Personnally, I am on the cusp of recognizing the benefits of my aging.  That recognition is important for me, I’m just not yet sure how.

In a short time, I’ll be experiencing my birthday. My whole life I have always expected the world to stop on that day and acknowledge me (that’s a somewhat embarrassing declaration given my age, after all, I am no longer 8 years old!)  Moving to Fort Collins from the smaller community of Gunnison has changed how I spend that day.  I no longer spend the entire week of my birthday lunching with close friends who have known me for more than 15 years, sharing amazing cream puffs made by my friend Maureen and opening gifts day after day.  This year, I will be taking the day off work and have no specific plans.  None.  The thing is, that’s ok.  It’s my gift to me – I’m treating me to a break and I may spend the whole day drinking tea on the deck, sitting under a tree reading, or wear my pajamas all day, even to work in the garden (I’ve never done that but find SARK inspiring enough to give it a try).

In her book, Transformation Soup, SARK has a great list about aging:

“The evidence of my aging I have seen so far:

- When I get dressed up to go out I feel oddly invisible and not attractive in the ways I used to rely upon.

- Waiters always call me ma’am.

- My lipstick bleeds.

- The crow’s feel have a heavier step.

- I feel too old for certain clothing in department stores.

- I am mistaken for being the mother of my younger friends.

- My hair is slightly thinner.

- I rely more on my glasses.

- My mother is older.

It’s an embarrassing relief to write of these things.”

- SARK, Transformation Soup

I love this list and find I relate to many parts of it, wanting to add to her list with: 

The person I see when I look in the mirror is much older than the one I feel like inside.

The list could go on and on.  Tomorrow I’ll share SARK’s benefits and gifts of her aging.

In her book “Eat Mangoes Naked”, SARK tells many stories about pleasure.  The one I am enjoying this morning is about a place in Portland, Oregon called Rimsky-Korsa Koffee.  (I’m paraphrasing here) – SARK recalls many humourous oddities about the cafe including:

No signage except one by the door: “Usually open til midnight although our hours are flexible…are you?”

She noticed they weren’t getting service and was told by her friend “that’s what the ping-pong balls are for!”  A little bucket on the table was filled with ping-pong balls, which you fling at the walls or door of the kitchen for service!

She noticed the design on the table top was morphing and that her teapot had moved…because the table was microscopically revolving.  Some tables move higher, some lower and some start disappearing into the wall!

As SARK tells us “Live your life in full color”, and I hope you encounter one fun and unusual thing in your day.