Flo

Today I am reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Eat Pray Love” and I’ve decided she is a woman after my own heart.  Not only does she describe herself as eating her way through Italy (similar to my recent experience in Seattle, Washington) but she talks about her meditation struggles in a manner I understand and are quite descriptive of how my mind operates.

“Like most humanoids, I am burdened with what the Buddhists call  the “monkey mind” – the thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl.  From the distant past to the unknowable future, my mind swings wildly through time, touching on dozens of ideas a minute, unharnessed and undisciplined.  This in itself is not necessarily a problem; the problem is the emotional attachment that goes along with the thinking.  Happy thoughts make me happy, but – whoop! – how quickly I swing again into obsessive worry, blowing the mood; and then it’s the remembrance of an angry moment and I start to get hot and pissed off all over again;  and then my mind decides it might be a good time to start feeling sorry for itself, and loneliness follows promptly.  You are, after all, what you think.  Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”

If you get a chance to read this book, I’d recommend it. 

Between last night’s dinner and breakfast this morning, the first batch of summer potato salad has disappeared from my refrigerator.  And, alas, I am the culprit.

I LOVE potato salad.  Let me restate that: I love MY potato salad.  Far be it from me, one of the world’s pickiest eaters, to eat just any potato salad.  I’ve spent years perfecting our family recipe to the point it now requires no measuring or guessing.  Dollops of mayonnaise, mustard and pickle relish are dropped in the huge mixing bowl.  An undefined number of eggs and cut-up potatoes are boiled in the copper-bottomed Revere Ware 4 1/2 qt. stock pot.  Bacon is cooked in the microwave.  After testing the potatoes for “done-ness”, I drain off the water and fill the pan with cold water (to speed up the process.)  By now I am impatient and my mouth is watering.  I crumble the bacon on top of the mayo/mustard/relish pile and slice scallion stems.  The potatoes drain in the strainer and the eggs cool in the water. 

I look at the mixture in the bowl.  I move back and forth in front of the sink, as if this little dance will make the potatoes drain faster and the eggs cool from the breeze I create.  I crack the shells off the eggs, and dice them, still warm, onto the mixture in the bowl.  Gauging the potatoes as still pretty wet, I no longer care and they are dumped into the bowl and quickly stirred in. 

I eat the first bite using the mixing spoon. It is followed by a delicious sigh.  This makes me happy.

Wally wants extra attention this morning.  He sits next to me as I drink tea, peering up at me as if I can sit here and not notice his woebegone brown eyes.  Something large just hit the branch of the Maple tree and I’m quite sure no pterodactyl have flown by in the last few minutes.  I hear the bird calls, the trucks on the highway and notice a very non-pterodactyl-like squirrel in the Maple, now the Ash tree.

Last night I watched the Pursuit of Happyness.  It seemed insightful of Chris Gardner to notice how the Declaration of Independence included the pursuit of happiness, not just happiness alone.  He noticed that happiness was included other places in the Declaration, that it was something he was pursuing, and at the end of the movie declared his moment of happiness.  It took alot of work to reach that one moment.  Although he had timesof despair, he was focused and his intentions remained on completing the internship and being THE employee who gets the job.  I admire that and wonder what I’ve done in my life with the same level of intensity.

Saturday, I went with a friend to the Boulder Book Store.  The first book I saw when I walked in was SARK’s new book “FABULOUS FRIENDSHIP FESTIVAL – loving wildly, learning deeply, living fully with our friends”.  You were probably thinking I was done with SARK.  I know I was, however, the cover was so tantilizing, so bright I couldn’t resist buying it and now, sharing it.

As with all of SARK’s books, the writing is creative, colorful and uplifting.  A new addition to this book is actual photographs of SARK and her friends.  The book has three sections:  Celebrations, Challenges, Integration, and 12 chapters, from Self-Friendship to Managing Time and Energy in Friendships (and everything in between!)

Perusing this book will take quite some time and I’ll share insights and thoughts as I go. 

“Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it, one cannot be freinds with anyone else in the world” –Eleanor Roosevelt

I talked with an artist named Leo this week, who paints and sells her pictures at Pike Place Public Market, in Seattle.  Her art work is reminiscent of Van Gogh and she sells other art she has created as well.  I discovered two 8 x 10 prints which state “I love you” in red ink with red hearts decorating the pieces.  All each page, she has written personal statements to the person she created this gift for.  Here are examples of the statements:

“You are loving”

“I love you because you love a slow boat to china”

“You sing”

“I love you because you pretend you are a kitty-cat”

“Because you give and give”

“Because you say the moon is made of cheese.”

“I love you because you dig in the dirt”

“I love you because you secretly know how to fly”

“I love you because you fuss over your hair as if it were the crown for the Queen of England” (this is my favorite)

 These are amazing and personal gifts Leo made for others and is sharing.  I bought both prints.  They make me think about the things I love about others in my life, things that probably should be said, yet never are. 

Think of all the people you know who would appreciate being told they are loved by you and why.  Tell them!

Lately, I’ve noticed people saying to me “go ahead, you seem to be in a hurry” or yesterday, a classic “you’re driving me crazy”.  The thing is, these things are said to me by total strangers. 

Yesterday, I laughed with the woman at the grocery store.  In the beverage aisle, I could not locate the type of pop I was sent to the store for.  I kept walking back and forth down the aisle, over and over, behind this woman’s grocery cart.  She laughed and I laughed when she commented and I made a half-hearted apology as I left the aisle.

There is no doubt that I am purposeful as I do most things.  However, I find that being labeled “in a hurry” has a negative connotation to me.  I am focused, and if I really think about it, I appear to rush from thing-to-thing.  I think I may be missing out on opportunities for laughter-giggles-smiles by my focused approach.

That’s what I want more of – more laughing – endless giggles – smiles all day long.  It sounds like it’s time to remember my “there is enough time in the day to get everything done” mantra and breathe more slowly.

In case you haven’t had enough of me talking about SARK this month, today I’ve noticed her focus on things we do for ourselves.

In her book Succulent Wild Women, SARK asks:

“How do you nourish yourself? (Besides food)

nourishing touch?

nourishing walks?

nourishing books?

nourishing words?

nourishing naps?

nourishing self-talk?

The nourishment starts on the inside.  When we tell ourselves and others the truth and identify what we really want and need, we are nourishing ourselves.”

Today has been a good day to think about nourishing me – lots of rain (at least the ground was being nourished).  In my ideal world, I would have spent some time appreciating me.  Instead, I worked, buzzed around completing thing after thing after thing on my “To-Do” list and I ended up only fatigued and ready for sleep, but not yet done with the “list”.  Before I go to sleep, I will list what I appreciate about me and anticipate I will sleep better for it.

As I continue to explore my forthcoming birthday I read in “Transformation Soup” SARK’s personal process with aging. She states things in a manner all of us can relate to.

 She lists:

“The benefits and gifts of my aging I’ve seen so far:

- Men or women playing games don’t even vaguely interest me.

- My centeredness and power.

- I have more insurance and different kinds of garbage bags.

- My vision for helping others is much clearer and keener.

- I am less self-absorbed.

- I am more grateful for health and more compassionate in general.

- I know what I like and how to experience it.

- Emotional balance.

- Freedom from reproduction and childbirth.

- Being Aunt and Godmother and friend to children.

- Being fiercely in love with myself.

- Being able to more deeply give and receive love.”

- SARK, Transformation Soup

Personnally, I am on the cusp of recognizing the benefits of my aging.  That recognition is important for me, I’m just not yet sure how.

In a short time, I’ll be experiencing my birthday. My whole life I have always expected the world to stop on that day and acknowledge me (that’s a somewhat embarrassing declaration given my age, after all, I am no longer 8 years old!)  Moving to Fort Collins from the smaller community of Gunnison has changed how I spend that day.  I no longer spend the entire week of my birthday lunching with close friends who have known me for more than 15 years, sharing amazing cream puffs made by my friend Maureen and opening gifts day after day.  This year, I will be taking the day off work and have no specific plans.  None.  The thing is, that’s ok.  It’s my gift to me – I’m treating me to a break and I may spend the whole day drinking tea on the deck, sitting under a tree reading, or wear my pajamas all day, even to work in the garden (I’ve never done that but find SARK inspiring enough to give it a try).

In her book, Transformation Soup, SARK has a great list about aging:

“The evidence of my aging I have seen so far:

- When I get dressed up to go out I feel oddly invisible and not attractive in the ways I used to rely upon.

- Waiters always call me ma’am.

- My lipstick bleeds.

- The crow’s feel have a heavier step.

- I feel too old for certain clothing in department stores.

- I am mistaken for being the mother of my younger friends.

- My hair is slightly thinner.

- I rely more on my glasses.

- My mother is older.

It’s an embarrassing relief to write of these things.”

- SARK, Transformation Soup

I love this list and find I relate to many parts of it, wanting to add to her list with: 

The person I see when I look in the mirror is much older than the one I feel like inside.

The list could go on and on.  Tomorrow I’ll share SARK’s benefits and gifts of her aging.

In her book “Eat Mangoes Naked”, SARK tells many stories about pleasure.  The one I am enjoying this morning is about a place in Portland, Oregon called Rimsky-Korsa Koffee.  (I’m paraphrasing here) – SARK recalls many humourous oddities about the cafe including:

No signage except one by the door: “Usually open til midnight although our hours are flexible…are you?”

She noticed they weren’t getting service and was told by her friend “that’s what the ping-pong balls are for!”  A little bucket on the table was filled with ping-pong balls, which you fling at the walls or door of the kitchen for service!

She noticed the design on the table top was morphing and that her teapot had moved…because the table was microscopically revolving.  Some tables move higher, some lower and some start disappearing into the wall!

As SARK tells us “Live your life in full color”, and I hope you encounter one fun and unusual thing in your day.