Flo

Earlier this week, I had a “day off”.  The problem is, I worked all day long.  Phone calls, reports, consultation – it didn’t stop and I became pretty discouraged.

In her book “Inspiration Sandwich”, SARK makes suggestions about increasing creativity, getting unstuck.

“I think it is about little things. Altering your routine as much as possible:

Buy purple flowers and put them on a hat.

Rake leaves and quit in the middle.

Don’t check your mail for 3 days.

Read the newspaper in the opposite order.

Break a dish you never liked.

Wear hideously colored socks.

If you’re in a hurry, do things slowly.

These “little things” will lead you into a new mood.

A new mood will lead you into new creativity.

Then immediately take a nap and let it all soak in.”

SARK’s books are filled with inspiration and creativity.  It is entirely impossible to read them without smiling, without laughing aloud.  Apparently, I should have followed SARK’s advice and altered my routine, even slightly. What is your creative idea for altering your routine today?

I read that May 15th was “Freedom from Self-improvement Day”.  Jennifer Louden “the contemporary voice of women’s comfort — a best-selling author, life coach and social commentator who provides women with the information, inspiration, and tools to create lives they love” chose this date to create a day to just take a break from self-improvment for just a moment, an hour, a day.  That sounds like such an inviting thing to do, and although it’s no longer May 15, I find it something worth thinking about.

Of course, this leads me to SARK again and her concept of “radical self-acceptance”.  In  her book “Succulent Wild Woman” (men can read it too, by the way), she tells a story of a phone message she received that stated “SARK, I send you waking naps, where for brief periods of time you can stop working on yourself, and simply luxuriate in where you are right now, just as you are.”  It was as if someone gave her permission to take a break from the constant “work” she was doing on herself. 

This is a good goal for the day (sounds like I’m trying to improve on taking a break from improving!?)

In case you haven’t had enough of me talking about SARK this month, today I’ve noticed her focus on things we do for ourselves.

In her book Succulent Wild Women, SARK asks:

“How do you nourish yourself? (Besides food)

nourishing touch?

nourishing walks?

nourishing books?

nourishing words?

nourishing naps?

nourishing self-talk?

The nourishment starts on the inside.  When we tell ourselves and others the truth and identify what we really want and need, we are nourishing ourselves.”

Today has been a good day to think about nourishing me – lots of rain (at least the ground was being nourished).  In my ideal world, I would have spent some time appreciating me.  Instead, I worked, buzzed around completing thing after thing after thing on my “To-Do” list and I ended up only fatigued and ready for sleep, but not yet done with the “list”.  Before I go to sleep, I will list what I appreciate about me and anticipate I will sleep better for it.

As I continue to explore my forthcoming birthday I read in “Transformation Soup” SARK’s personal process with aging. She states things in a manner all of us can relate to.

 She lists:

“The benefits and gifts of my aging I’ve seen so far:

- Men or women playing games don’t even vaguely interest me.

- My centeredness and power.

- I have more insurance and different kinds of garbage bags.

- My vision for helping others is much clearer and keener.

- I am less self-absorbed.

- I am more grateful for health and more compassionate in general.

- I know what I like and how to experience it.

- Emotional balance.

- Freedom from reproduction and childbirth.

- Being Aunt and Godmother and friend to children.

- Being fiercely in love with myself.

- Being able to more deeply give and receive love.”

- SARK, Transformation Soup

Personnally, I am on the cusp of recognizing the benefits of my aging.  That recognition is important for me, I’m just not yet sure how.

In a short time, I’ll be experiencing my birthday. My whole life I have always expected the world to stop on that day and acknowledge me (that’s a somewhat embarrassing declaration given my age, after all, I am no longer 8 years old!)  Moving to Fort Collins from the smaller community of Gunnison has changed how I spend that day.  I no longer spend the entire week of my birthday lunching with close friends who have known me for more than 15 years, sharing amazing cream puffs made by my friend Maureen and opening gifts day after day.  This year, I will be taking the day off work and have no specific plans.  None.  The thing is, that’s ok.  It’s my gift to me – I’m treating me to a break and I may spend the whole day drinking tea on the deck, sitting under a tree reading, or wear my pajamas all day, even to work in the garden (I’ve never done that but find SARK inspiring enough to give it a try).

In her book, Transformation Soup, SARK has a great list about aging:

“The evidence of my aging I have seen so far:

- When I get dressed up to go out I feel oddly invisible and not attractive in the ways I used to rely upon.

- Waiters always call me ma’am.

- My lipstick bleeds.

- The crow’s feel have a heavier step.

- I feel too old for certain clothing in department stores.

- I am mistaken for being the mother of my younger friends.

- My hair is slightly thinner.

- I rely more on my glasses.

- My mother is older.

It’s an embarrassing relief to write of these things.”

- SARK, Transformation Soup

I love this list and find I relate to many parts of it, wanting to add to her list with: 

The person I see when I look in the mirror is much older than the one I feel like inside.

The list could go on and on.  Tomorrow I’ll share SARK’s benefits and gifts of her aging.

In her book “Eat Mangoes Naked”, SARK tells many stories about pleasure.  The one I am enjoying this morning is about a place in Portland, Oregon called Rimsky-Korsa Koffee.  (I’m paraphrasing here) – SARK recalls many humourous oddities about the cafe including:

No signage except one by the door: “Usually open til midnight although our hours are flexible…are you?”

She noticed they weren’t getting service and was told by her friend “that’s what the ping-pong balls are for!”  A little bucket on the table was filled with ping-pong balls, which you fling at the walls or door of the kitchen for service!

She noticed the design on the table top was morphing and that her teapot had moved…because the table was microscopically revolving.  Some tables move higher, some lower and some start disappearing into the wall!

As SARK tells us “Live your life in full color”, and I hope you encounter one fun and unusual thing in your day.

Even from the title of her book “Eating Mangoes Naked”, you get the impression SARK will be sharing something inspiring and fun.  Her focus throughout the entire book is on pleasure. At the beginning of the book she says:

It is our birthright to enjoy ourselves and find all the pleasure in our lives.  Pleasure loves company and delights in being discovered.

Early in the book she discusses the pleasure we get by giving to others and challenges us to explore this aspect of ourselves.  Here is her list of questions related to how we give in our lives (the questions make good journaling prompts):

Are you able to give without an “credit”?

Do you feel compelled to give in honor of certain occasions even if you don’t want to?

Do you search for ways and reasons to give?

Is giving easy for you?

In what ways to you feel satisfied or dissatisfied with how others give to you?

Ways in which you welcome and fully embrace gifts, or not?

Share a story of a favorite time you gave to someone.

What can you offer to the world with your giving?

I like the last question and wonder what I can offer the world with my giving.  Sometimes I think just the act of approaching my day with an open heart is the best I can do (and some days, even that is a little challenging).

Namaste’

Flo

Yesterday I was quoting SARK’s “States of Being”.  This focus on self-talk seems important, so I want to continue with SARK’s suggestions about how she has learned to accept parts of herself that she doesn’t necessarily “love” with her “new view” of situations.

Repeating addictive behaviors: Support is essential (find someone/group for support)

Overwhelm, anxiety:  If your inner nurturing parent is engaged and active, it is much less posssible to feel overwhelmed or anxious.  Also, if you can identify when you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, and give it room to exist, it will dissolve and transform.

Controlling/perfectionist:  There is no control and perfection is arrogant.  Practrice messiness, letting go, and doing things badly.

Fear: Identify a fear and work with it objectively.  Recognize the contraction of fear and experiment with expansion of an opposite state.  Example:  Loss vs. plenty

                 – SARK, Prosperity Pie

Practice positive self talk – it’s an essential part of self-love.

This morning I was noticing my self-talk.  At the moment I noticed it, it was “if you put things away, you’ll find them faster.”  Although that could have been stated negatively, surprisingly, in that moment is was stated as more of an observation.  An awareness of fact.  I can’t say my self-talk is always so kind.

It’s not that I’m punitive when I talk to myself (sometimes, and only when I’m alone, it is even aloud!) but I don’t always have loving kindness, compassion or empathy for me.  If I can do that toward others, I know I can do it for me.  So, why don’t I?

In “Prosperity Pie” SARK has an entire section she titles “States of Being”.  She says:

“I am still surprised when I keep discovering how little I actually accept myself.  As soon as I feel certainty in one kind or level of self-acceptance, it seems that another appears.  This is closely related to lack of self-love, with a twist: I think we are being asked to accept things we don’t necessarily love.  This is a rich ongoing area of inquiry for me and many others.”

She continues by giving suggestions on how we can change this.

Not accepting one-self: Accept everything, judge nothing.

Habitual negative thought: You can gently practice new self-talk and experiment with a different focus.

Addicted to struggle, suffering, drama: If you can identify what need your compulsive behavior is meeting, you can choose to do it differently.

Rehearsing, predicting, futurizing:  Meditation is perhaps the best antidote for any of the above.

Compulsive/obsessive thought, worrying: Worry is not preparation (attributed to Cheri Huber).  Objective thinking is very stabilizing.

The list is long.  I’ll continue with the rest tomorrow.  In the meantime, try to hear what you’re saying to yourself.

Namaste’

Flo

I could be sharing SARK treasures in some sort of organized manner.  Alas (I’ve ALWAYS loved the drama in that word – I imagine standing with the back of my left hand held to my forehead and my head thrown back like a 1920 drama queen…) Alas, I want to share them rather randomly instead.

SARK writes an entire, colorful theme about our relationship with money (did you ever think of how you interact with money as being a “relationship”? That is an interesting topic to write about.)

How to relax about money.

relax. Your money is not your life!  it just seems that way sometimes. True wealth is inside of you. learn to cultivate money miracles. Go back to money innocence.  Be who you truly are and the money will follow. You are safe.  if you find yourself worrying about money, why were you lost in the first place? read “Money and How it Gets that way” by Henry Miller.  Make friends with money.  Money is like love – the more you give away, the more comes back. Watch the movie “it’s a wonderful life.” When any money flows in for you, it’s time to help others.  Help them now. Money was invented to be shared. Start a revolution: refuse to believe in recessions.  We need to rewrite recession to read: Money recess.  remember recess?  You got to go outside, kick a Ball, and feel free from school.  We all need to feel free about Money!  Take a Deep Breath. What you are worth is not about Money. relax. You are safe

                             – SARK, Inspiration Sandwich

Take a deep breath. What you are worth is not about money.